Disclaimer: No, I do not own Twilight. But yes, I DO LOVE CHRISTMAS!

This is a songfic; but will not always be. If I continue this, it will not all be a songfic. I just love this song. It's "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo.

This fanfiction is dedicated to my friend Sarah. I LOVE YOU! (But Edward is still mine.)

Edwards POV

I lay beside my angel that night, just as every other night before. She had once again gone to sleep upset with me for not agreeing to change her. How could she not understand? How could she not understand that I could not bear to do such terrible things to my beloved? Being a vampire doesn't hurt me, but it would surely destroy her.

It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?

She was too kind, too gentle, too perfect to be able to withstand the torment that would come with being transformed. Not only would there be those three days, those horrific three days that would torment me just as much as her, but the killing that would come after, the pain of never making friends, of traveling from place to place would surely ruing my perfect angel.

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh...

My perfect, sweet Bella. She twisted in her sleep, murmuring my name. That never failed to bring a smile to my face. It would be so easy, so very easy, to change her, to fulfill my deepest desire, to be with her forever. But would she hate me for it? I know that it took a lot out of her, to keep asking me, to watch me get angry again and again. The anger was never at her, of course. But still. I knew that as much as I wanted to shelter her from pain and disappointment, she wanted to do the same for me. The idea was mad, to say the least. But the thought was what counted.

You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.
There is thunder in our hearts, baby

My family loves her just as much as I do. Emmett thinks I'm simply beating around the bush, that I'll change her eventually. Even Rosalie, arrogant Rosalie, likes Bella. She's just jealous, everyone assures me, she'll come around. Bella twisted in her sleep again, distracting me from my train of thoughts. A grimace marred her perfect face. She twisted again. I toyed with the idea of waking her. If she was having a nightmare, I didn't want her to have to endure through it. I often thought about her many insecurities. She once confessed to me the absurd idea that if she died (I shudder at the thought) nothing would be different. She said that I would be sad for a time, then forget. I almost laughed at the absurdity of the idea.

So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
You, be running up that hill
You and me, be running up that hill
You and me won't be unhappy.

I assured her, of course, that the moment she was gone from this world I would start searching for a way to follow. This frightened her, and she made me promise I would never do such a thing. To ease her mind, I agreed. I felt terrible for lying to such an angel, but how could I live without her? I could I go on without her smiling face. I just wish there was a way to KNOW she would be happy if I changed her, forever, not just initially. I loved her so much, would that be enough to keep her content? She rolled over in her sleep, and curled into my side. She sighed, and spoke my name once more. A smile tugged at my lips. If such an angel like this did not deserve immortality, who did? If she could convince me, without a doubt, that she would be happy….

I would change Isabella Swann.

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building,
If I only could, oh...

A/N: Like it? If I get some reviews that want me to continue, I will! Anyway, please review! Like I said, if I continue not every chapter will have a song. R&R but no flames please!