Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fic, they all belong to JK Rowling and/or Warner Brothers, and/or Random House, and/or any other publishing house or person that owns Harry Potter. sigh
Description: A character comtemplates his life while staring into the flames. Rated T for suicide, implied slash. Written for a challenge over on FNet (link on my homepage)
I sit in my chair, staring at the wizard-size fireplace before me. The fire entrances my gaze, drawing my eyes to it. The blood flames dance around the blackened logs, licking and twisting in their fiery ballet. They glow red with the heat, fade to orange at the tips. Sparks fly out from the flames, hit the steel grating, and disappear. Could that be me? I wonder. Am I just a spark, unnoticed and unwanted, able to vanish from the world as if I never existed?
I curse myself for being so foolish. I shouldn't be thinking those kinds of thoughts. I have everything I ever dreamed of: love, happiness, wealth. I don't need this, I shouldn't be thinking it. I'm in no way a suicidal person. I'm not even depressed! I'm not depressed. Am I?
A voice whispers to me, cold and inviting, Do it! Do it! It distracts me from my train of thought, letting my dreams drift away into the vast recesses of my mind. I can't think like this! Get out of my mind! I scream silently, praying my wish to be granted. The voice fades away into nothing, following my dreams. The only thing I hear now is silence. Golden silence, peaceful silence. Could I stay like this forever? I know that's the way I want it to stay.
There's only one way to stay this way, I think. I have to do it now. I walk over to my elegant mahogany desk, sit in the leather chair. I pick up my eagle quill, my favourite quill. Slowly, surely, I start to write. Everything tumbles out of my mind at once; things I needed to say a long time ago, things that still need to be said. Quickly, quickly, the quill completes my message. It scribbles off the parchment, writing faster and faster. When it's finally finished, a full thirty minutes have passed. A half hour of my life has passed since I first sat here, intending to write everything.
There's only one thing left to do now that the writing is done. I walk over to the fireplace again, slowly, calmly. The fury of writing has been lifted. It's gone now, along with the weight I didn't know I was carrying. I feel light, floating, beautiful. There's nobody but me now. I know what needs to be done. I can feel it pressing on me, willing me to give in to my fantasies, my dark and horrible dreams. I know I can do it.
Slowly, slowly. No need to rush, says the voice in my head. It's soothing now, comforting. I recognize the tone, the voice. I know who's talking to me, who's been talking to me ever since the War, ever since Harry's death. It's the voice of the only one I ever loved. After all these years, he's still been with me. The feeling is comforting. I'm not a spark, I realize. I'm not a spark! I'm not forgotten. Harry didn't forget me. I'll be able to be with him now, forever. We can be together without judgment, without the stares and the whispers.
And just before I throw myself into the flames, I wonder, Did he always know?
Weasley Death Shocks Family
Suicide Was "Not Expected"
Ronald Weasley, one of the Three Who Lived, was found dead in an apparent suicide on Sunday night in his home near Diagon Alley. Family members close to Mr. Weasley said that there was no note left behind after him. This is the third loss for the Weasley family since the War. Arthur and Molly Weasley, the deceased's parents, were killed in an 'automobile' (a type of Muggle transportation) accident a few years ago.
Mr. Weasley, along with Hermione Granger and the late Harry Potter, was one of the few who stood up against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in the last Great War. "It's all so tragic," said one family member, who wishes not to be identified. "He was such a sweet boy. Such a bright future ahead of him." Ginevra Weasley-Finnegan, the deceased's sister, said her family was "trying to cope, but it'll be very hard. Ron was such a lovely brother, a loving and caring uncle. I'm sure our parents would have been proud of him."
Mr. Weasley would have been 21 years old this year. He is survived by above-mentioned sister, Ginevra Weasley-Finnegan, and two older brothers, Mr George Weasley and Mr Fred Weasley. He had two nieces and a nephew. Miss Granger, the only surviving member of the Three Who Lived, was not available for comment.
The funeral service will be on Tuesday, at the family plot. Anybody wishing to attend will please contact Mrs. Weasley-Finnegan via owl post.
Related Articles:
Wizard Death Toll Takes A Rise, A14
"I want to kill myself." How to help a family member cope with depression, C4
Author's Notes: Was written for the "Obligatory Angsty One" challenge over on FNet. This is also the first Harry Potter ficlet I've written in a while, so reviews are always appreciated!
