Author's Note: Don't own a thing. This is an AU scene from the episode "Lost Boys". IceQueen1 and I agreed that there was no way that Ronon would just stare at Ford after Ford asked, "Do you still hold a grudge against me for giving you the enzyme?" Don't get me wrong; I liked Ford during first season. In a strange way he reminded me of a friend, but now he's completely cracked and has a penchant for coming up with suicide missions before thinking anything through. Yes, I have references to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Muppet Treasure Island in here.

"So, do you hold a grudge against me for giving you the enzyme?" asked Ford.

Ronon stared down the lieutenant in such a way that even the cocky kid felt unnerved. The slowly growing smile didn't help either.

Ronon growled.

"He says the enzyme obviously kills brain cells, and you probably can't afford to take it much longer with the way you're thinking," Sheppard explained.

Ronon shot a glare in the Colonel's direction.

"Sorry. I was just paraphrasing."

"Hey, you're stronger, faster than before! Why are you complaining?" asked Ford.

"I've been running from the Wraith for seven years, killing plenty along the way without the help of some enzyme," Ronon said. "You wouldn't last a week in that situation."

"If you're so tough, how is it that us idiots beat you?"

"If memory serves correctly, the first time we fought, I was winning until you ran off, coward. Unlike you, I follow orders. Col. Sheppard ordered that you were to be taken alive," Ronon took a step closer to Ford so that they were an inch apart, "something that I can't guarantee."

"Is that a request for a rematch? Or do you need to ask Sheppard for permission?" Ford sneered as his lackeys oohed mockingly.

"He has no say in the matter. I'm game if you are."

"Alright, let's do this!" Ford marched over to the exercise ring, his buddies in tow.

Sheppard grabbed Ronon's arm. "I'd rather not to have to take him back in a Tupperware container," he muttered.

"Don't worry," Ronon brushed off the hand. "I'm just going to teach him a lesson."

Sheppard sighed as his team joined the others to watch the fight. "That's what I'm afraid of."

When he reached the rest of the group, Sheppard said, "You know we should have this somewhat fair. No weapons, and we should have someone count to three or something to start the fight."

"Ok, onetwothree GO!" yelled Dr. McKay.

Ronon's fist flew to Ford's left eye before anyone could blink, knocking the lieutenant on his back. The former runner grinned. "So much for superior speed," he muttered.

"I'm really glad he's on our side," said McKay.

Ford clambered back to his feet. "Hey! That wasn't fair!"

"Did you really expect me to fight fair?"

"I guess not." Ford threw a punch, but Ronon blocked it with one hand and kicked at Ford's exposed side. The lieutenant managed to move with the kick so that he didn't get the brunt of the blow, but it still unbalanced him. Ronon got in another punch before Ford could fully recover, but it was apparent that he was now on his guard.

As the fight progressed, everyone noticed that Ford never managed more than a few solid blows while Ronon almost never missed his mark. The fact that Ford hadn't been keeping up with the hand-to-hand combat he learned in basic training became obvious; he'd gotten used to simply surprising and overpowering his opponents. Ronon had far more honed combat skills, not to mention more muscle, weight, and height to his advantage. Ford would lose long before Ronon lost his energy. However, Sheppard knew that Ford was far too stubborn to ever admit defeat. This was going to end badly, especially since Sheppard knew damn well that Ronon was only using the most basic of moves.

"He's toying with Ford," muttered the Colonel.

"That explains why this suddenly seemed so boring," McKay replied.

"Don't you get it? Ford is dead meat up there!"

"Actually, at this juncture, I don't care considering what our old buddy Ford's done to us. If the beating of his life doesn't knock some sense into him--"

Before Rodney could complete his sentence, Ronon's left foot slid between Ford's feet, his right hit the back of Ford's calf, and his weight brought him down. Ronon slammed his right elbow into the lieutenant's spine at the base of his neck, eliciting a loud crunch and yell from Ford.

"Ok, that should do it," said McKay.

"If he's not dead," muttered Sheppard.

"As far as I'm concerned, the Aidan Ford who came to Atlantis as a young Marine died as soon as he tangled with that Wraith. You're going to have to give up on him. He wants to lead us to our deaths, something I was hoping to put off indefinitely. I'm sorry, but if Ronon either killed or seriously injured Ford, we're far better off. First, the Wraith doesn't kill us. Second, we can finally take Ford back to Atlantis where either he can have a proper burial or give him the medical attention he desperately needs. As far as I'm concerned, Colonel, if Ford has to die for us to live, I'm not going to lose much sleep over it."

Ronon grinned and leaned close to the gasping Ford's ear. He muttered, "To answer your question: no, I do not have a grudge against you. No more than you have a grudge against me at the moment." He casually stepped over the lieutenant's crumpled form towards the rest of his team. Sheppard looked decidedly unhappy at his victory. "I told you I was just teaching him a lesson."

"I know. I was just thinking that you're explaining everything to Dr. Beckett when we gate back to Atlantis with Ford," answered the Colonel. "I'm not about to get chewed out for this." He sighed. "Why couldn't we do just one thing the peaceful way?"

"Because you're one of a handful of optimists in the galaxy," said Ronon.

"And because Ford's become a cracked out, suicidal nutcase," added McKay.

Sheppard shrugged. "Teyla, you're awful quiet. Care to add your opinion?"

"I agree with Dr. McKay and Ronon. We need to get Lt. Ford back to Atlantis, and we need to find a way to be rid of our dependency on the Wraith enzyme."

"Alright, let's see what we can find in the way of a stretcher to cart Ford home."

"Can't we just sorta drag him to the Gate?" asked McKay.

"No, Rodney!"

"Why not?"

The End