Shipboard Computer
A Post-Serenity Firefly Fanfic

Kaylee didn't like it.

"Cap'n," she said, turning back around to face the cockpit that she had just turned away from. "Why do we gotta have that?"

"We don't have a pilot anymore," Mal said, continuing to unscrew the back covering of the screen that was attached to the roof of the cockpit. It was about the size of the radar screen, just mounted to the ceiling. "In case you haven't noticed, River's almost killed us twice."

"Three times," Kaylee corrected him sullenly. "But she'll get better, we just need to watch her, right?"

Mal turned for a moment, and Kaylee met his eyes. It was the Glare. Yes, the one that meant that the Captain was about to yell… well, except the Captain didn't really yell in the way most people yelled. At least, most people Kaylee had ever met.

"I don't get it," she hurried to correct herself. "I mean, can't we get, you know, a human pilot? Like Wash was?"

"Most humans don't fly like Wash did," Mal muttered, returning to the last screw of the box. "You've been on lots of ships, Kaylee, and you know that."

"I ain't never been in any cockpit besides Wash's."

Mal sighed. He hated thinking about Wash, and Kaylee knew it. She also knew that he had hoped that this computer would mean he wouldn't have to think about him anymore. "Look," he finally said, "Wash could fly and navigate. He could, I don't know how he did it, but he could run all this stuff at the same time. He was a natural, kinda the way you are with the engines."

Kaylee couldn't help but to smile. She had seen the way Wash had flown a few times, and she had always known that he saw flying the same way she saw engineering. "But… ain't there other naturals out there?"

"No," Mal replied. "He was one of a kind. In fact, we need this computer plus another human to replace him, that's how good he was." He pushed a button on the computer, and smacked it on the side when nothing happened. The screen flickered on and beeped.

"What, you get a used computer too?" Kaylee teased half-heartedly. After Mal had brought in the used fuel pump that had nearly exploded three times this week alone, she felt like she could legitimately tease him.

"These things are expensive. I only got one because the guy was a friend of the Shepherd's."

Kaylee froze. "Which… friend of the Shepherd's?"

"You don't want to know."

"Not the creepy voodoo guy!" Kaylee whined. "You did not just buy a computer from a guy who tries to sell baby skeletons as good luck charms!"

Mal turned and leveled another of his Glares at Kaylee. "A friend of the Shepherd's is a friend of ours. The guy wouldn't do anything malicious."

"Oh sure, tell that to the babies."

"You can't do anything religiously creepy to a computer."

Kaylee sighed.

Mal smiled as he shooed her from the cockpit. "Go on now."

Turning one last time to glare at the computer, Kaylee shuffled out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Can't you fix River?"

Simon looked flabbergasted. "Fix her?"

"Yeah," Kaylee said, crossing her legs and letting her feet hang over the edge of her bed. "Make her fly right."

Simon sighed and leaned back against the wall, his crisp black pants a stark contrast against Kaylee's wrinkled rainbow-colored flannel sheets. "You can't just make someone fly well," he tried to explain.

"Cap'n's gotta computer that he's using to replace Wash."

"Well, someone has to fly this ship, right?"

Kaylee uncrossed her legs and recrossed them the opposite way. "He bought the computer from that voodoo guy."

Simon's nose wrinkled. Kaylee loved that look on him. "That guy with the skeletons?"

"The same one!"

"Well," Simon said, tapping his fingers against his temple. "I suppose that he couldn't do anything too terrible to a computer. That might be why he was selling it."

"It just ain't the same," Kaylee huffed.

"Of course not." Simon put his arm around Kaylee's shoulders. "But the ship still has to fly."

"I wish it was more human-like, though. Those things're creepy with their robotic voices."

Simon laid his head against Kaylee's and suggested, "Maybe you can do that. Reprogram it to make it less… cold." He smiled down at her. "It would be a good project now that Serenity's in good shape, right?"

Kaylee bit her lower lip and looked up at him. "You just want something to keep me busy and away from you all the time, huh?"

Simon smiled and shrugged before winding up in a rumpled pile among Kaylee's sheets.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaylee was surprised to see River in the cockpit, turned around and facing her as she came in. Sometimes it was easy to forget that the girl was a psychic! "Uh, hey River!" Kaylee said, trying to act natural.

"How do I know how to fly this?" River asked, turning back around and staring at the new shipboard computer.

"I dunno," Kaylee said, taking small steps up behind River's chair. "How do you know how—"

"I hear him."

Kaylee blinked. "Hear who, honey?"

"Serenity."

Kaylee chuckled. "Serenity's a girl, River—"

"Not anymore."

"Okay, okay," Kaylee said, sitting down on the arm of River's chair. "What's he saying?"

"I don't know." River turned a dial on the dashboard and smiled. "But I'm too slow, always too slow."

Kaylee sighed. "What do you think of the new computer we got?"

"Useless." River turned and stared at the computer. "It's flat."

"I agree." Kaylee walked up to it and stared at its flickering screen, displaying headings and alignment corrections. "It's supposed to keep us flying straight and dodging things in our path, supposed to be able to set its own course. It's also supposed to run diagnostics on the ship, like it's the ship itself."

"It isn't Serenity," River said, standing up and pulling a plug out from the back of the computer. "We don't need it. Fix him." She handed the end of the cable to Kaylee.

Kaylee stammered, staring at the cord, "Fix…?"

"You fix Serenity, right? Is that your job?"

"Well, yeah, it sure is," Kaylee replied, staring at the cable, "But I don't think anything's wrong with her… I mean, him." She blushed.

"It's all wrong," River said, keeping her eyes steady on Kaylee. "Serenity can't talk to us like this."

Kaylee nodded, not knowing what else to do. "I'll… do my best."

River smiled.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Kaylee, what are you doing?"

"Zoe… I'm sorry… it's his blood." Kaylee's hands were dripping with brownish-red, half-congealed after the weeks since blood had been spilled in the cockpit. "I didn't want you to see. I was trying to clean it all up, but it just keeps coming everywhere…"

Zoe was crouched next to Kaylee in a moment, looking up at the underside of the control panel. These wires were the controls that Saffron had mucked with when she was sabotaging the ship, and these were the connections that Kaylee and Wash had spent hours and hours repairing and rewiring over the years.

Kaylee could almost hear his voice, feel his hands in the wiring next to hers, reaching for the same cord, plugging in each other's fuses; planning, scheming, reworking all the parts of Serenity. But now… there were wires and cables and fuses, yes, but there was also blood.

"It can't be," Zoe said, forcefully taking Kaylee's hands back from the partially congealed blood underneath the panel. "He… he died over there, in the seat. Not here. His blood shouldn't be here."

"I'll clean it up," Kaylee insisted, tearing her hands away from Zoe. "I… I was just trying to make the computer work better."

"I know," Zoe said, looking up at the computer which lay half-disassembled on top of the dashboard. "Mal told me you were in here. I thought you could use some help."

Kaylee looked up hopefully. "I don't know what you can do, but… it helps."

"Make Serenity talk to us," River chimed in from her seat.

Zoe nodded. "What do I need to do?"

"All of these," Kaylee held up four wires that came from the computer, "need to be connected in there… the colors even match." She pointed to a wire box on the far wall of the inside of the control panel. "But every time I try, more of this blood gets in my way. I don't know where it's all coming from."

"Right," Zoe said, taking the yellow wire from Kaylee and peering into the opening in the dashboard. The connection point was obvious – another yellow wire with a frayed end, waiting for its match. Zoe reached in and made the connection, signaled by a large spark from the underside of the panel.

"Ow!"

Kaylee blinked. "That was easy! You're a natural," she told Zoe, handing her the next wire.

"What'd you do to the computer?" Zoe asked as she reached inside the casing again.

"Just reworked it a little, switched some things around." Kaylee watched the inside of the panel, waiting for more blood to come out from somewhere. "Tried to make it work better with Serenity, you know? Instead of just being an attachment, to be part of the ship."

Zoe grunted as she connected the blue wire to its match inside. A shower of sparks caused Zoe to withdraw her hands quickly, but another exclamation startled Kaylee.

"That's painful!"

"It's working," River intoned.

Kaylee looked over her shoulder at River, wondering if it was her making those exclamations. Or maybe it was Jayne… he was getting some stitches put in downstairs.

But the voice… it sounded a lot like Wash's voice over an intercom.

Kaylee thought she might have been going crazy. Maybe it was all that blood… or maybe that creepy voodoo guy really had done something to the computer.

"Next," Zoe ordered, and Kaylee handed her the black wire and watched.

"No blood?" Kaylee asked, seeing how easily Zoe's hands were navigating the circuitry of the panels.

"If I didn't see it on your hands, I'd think you were fibbing," Zoe replied. A crackle and a low humming followed the connection of the third wire.

"Zoe? Zoe, baby, is that you?"

There was only one person who would say something like that, and Kaylee knew who it was. "Zoe," she asked, her voice shaking a little. "Do you… hear that?"

Zoe regarded Kaylee steadily. "Hear what?"

Kaylee swallowed. "Wash?"

Zoe's gaze fell to the floor. "I always hear Wash. Next wire."

Kaylee's stomach did a somersault as she handed the last wire, a white one, to Zoe. She clasped her hands around her ankles as she watched Zoe reach up and in one last time, waiting to see if her alterations worked.

There were no sparks nor any strange noises when the wire connected, but the screen of the computer did flicker on. Kaylee sat up and stared at the screen as the image came into focus.

Zoe looked horrified. "Wash," she said.

"Zoe, my autumn flower!" Wash said.

She fainted.

Wash blinked. "Um… hey? Ow?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, Zoe, you awake?"

Zoe rubbed her head and blinked. "…Mal?"

Mal nodded. "None other. You okay?"

"I… what happened?"

"You fainted," Simon said placidly. "Hit your head, but you should be alright."

"I guess it was kind of a shock," Kaylee said, grinning from ear to ear, "to see your husband on our shipboard computer."

Zoe closed her eyes. "I thought I dreamed that."

"Nope, he's right there!" Kaylee said, nodding back toward the screen that used to display nothing but navigational bearings and numbers. Now, on the screen, the figure of Wash was pacing.

"Wha--?" Zoe stared at the screen, blinking. "But… this is a trick. This has to be a trick."

"Well, it certainly ain't what I intended," Kaylee explained, smiling. "But, I guess in my reworkings, I would up somehow configuring that computer to display Wash instead of numbers."

"How, exactly, did you do that?" Simon asked, pulling his stethoscope off of his ears.

Kaylee grinned and shrugged. "Dunno! But it's him, it really is, just look."

"Baby?" Zoe asked, standing up and moving closer to the screen. "What are you doing in there?"

Wash stopped pacing across the screen, stopping just to the right of center. "What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm worrying about you. Why'd you have to go and faint on me?"

Zoe shook her head in disbelief. "You're dead."

"What!" Wash looked offended. "Now, that's not a very nice thing to say. Do I really look that bad?"

"I think that voodoo guy really did do something creepy to the computer," Kaylee whispered to Mal.

Mal stared at Kaylee for a second. "Are you sure that it wasn't you doing the creepy stuff?"

Zoe's hands were on the screen. "Baby, you're inside the computer," she was trying to explain. "You died… when we landed… right in front of my eyes…"

"Bah, that was just my body," Wash said, waving his hand. "When I said 'forever', remember that? I kinda tripped over the word, 'f-f-for-f-forev-forverer', but I said it eventually. Anyway, I did work pretty hard to say it and I meant it."

"But… wasn't 'until death do us part' in there too?" Zoe asked, a tear on her left cheek.

Wash blinked. "Oh… yeah, I guess it was." He coughed. "Heh. I guess I kinda forgot about that part."

"Wash," Mal said stepping up next to Zoe to look into the screen. "How are you here?"

"You don't need to do that, you know," Wash said, grinning. "I can see you, wherever you are. I can even see Jayne masturbating – I mean, cleaning his guns -- in his bunk."

Kaylee had to smirk, especially when Simon blushed.

"But, uh, as to how I'm here," Wash put his hand in his hair, thinking, "I don't really know. Always useful, huh?"

"I don't like to ask questions that I don't have to," Mal said quickly. Then, he asked a question. "What exactly are you?"

Wash looked perplexed. "Why, I'm your ship, Mal."

Mal blinked. "You're what?"

"He is Serenity," River murmured.

Wash started pacing across the screen again. "When I was last flying her, when she kept getting run into, losing pieces… I don't know, Mal, I felt every one of those hits. I promised her that I would give her everything if she just got us all down safely."

"And you did," Zoe said, putting her hands on the screen. "You gave her everything."

Wash stopped pacing and crouched in front of the screen, reaching his hands out to Zoe. "I'm sorry, Zoe," he said. "I had to keep you safe."

A shudder ran its way through Serenity, nearly knocking everybody from their feet. Wash grabbed his stomach.

"It's that fuel pump again, Cap'n," Kaylee said, punching Mal in the shoulder.

"Ugh, fix me, Kaylee," Wash moaned.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Serenity was flying smoothly again – at least until that fuel pump blew out again – and Kaylee was walking around the ship with Simon. Simon had always said he enjoyed romantic walks in pretty places, but since they didn't have pretty places, Kaylee figured that regular romantic walks would have to do.

"Now I'm going to be paranoid," Simon admitted as they descended the stairs into the cargo bay.

"About what?" Kaylee asked, slyly lacing her fingers with his.

"Wash… watching us. He said he could see everywhere, right?"

Kaylee shrugged. "Like Wash'd really care. I mean, he knew everything that was going on anyway. He just never let on."

"You think? I mean, you don't think he'd tell everybody what—"

Kaylee shushed him, and pointed.

Zoe was down at the edge of the bay where the panel was that opened and closed the door. Her hand was around the steel casing that held the connections and the wiring, and she appeared to be daydreaming.

"She doesn't always do this, does she?" Simon whispered.

Kaylee shook her head. "But I think now that she knows… it's him. She's spending time with him."

Zoe sank to her knees, wrapping her arms around the panel. She closed her eyes and rested her head against its side, smiling.

"Come on," Kaylee whispered to Simon, tugging on his hand. "Let's go back upstairs."

The End