First Grey's Anatomy fic I've ever written. I worship the show, I think Meredith is awesome and deserves a break and I firmly believe that Dr.Shepherd is a wonderfully gorgeous man. I own nothing at all, except a man in my closet whose name I will not mention. Anyways, this is just a oneshot, so enjoy!
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Meredith Grey has always been the particularly pretty, particularly cute and particularly smart girl. She has always been the sweetheart with a sharp wit and a wise comment for every word anyone else had to say.
But no one in the hospital ever cared what Meredith Grey was.
Meredith Grey spends endless days dreading and dreading the next time she'll see Derek Shepherd strutting down the hall in all his nicely assed glory, haughtily grin at her and call her some playful pet name that she's only supposed to hear when they're alone.
Things like this are what make Meredith Grey, the daughter of the famed surgeon, the strong, sharp witted little girl, crawl into her own emotional hole and mentally die.
The thing that ticks her off most are the residents and doctors and interns, all so arrogant and perfect with their accusations at her. Her and her mother, her and Dr. Shepherd, her and everything.
They can't understand how much it hurts to have a gift and only be seen as mommy's little girl.
It bothers her that they all treat her like such a kid. It bothers her that Dr. Shepherd favors her over everyone else. In short, not much doesn't bother Meredith Grey.
She stays up, sometimes, the nights when she's not with Derek, and ponders the confusing blob of issues that entangle so intricately to form the black and white glob that is her life.
There are loud footsteps in the kitchen. Izzie's baking again.
She envies Izzie greatly, having an outlet for her frustration. And such a delicious one, too.
Izzie can make a batch of chocolate chip freakin' cookies and her anxiety disappears. Meredith has no way to get rid of her messy issues except the worst way any woman can. Meredith cries. Meredith cries at the ungodly hours of the morning when she's sure not Jorge nor Izzie can listen to her whimper like a depressed puppy.
She always wakes up in the morning and there's this unexplainable pain in her chest. She ignores the dull throbbing of the gaping hole she is sure is there where her heart is and trudges wearily through the morning hours.
The afternoon hours come, she ignores the pain then too and keeps moving, feeling ever the more tired.
Night comes and she wants to collapse, but she keeps on her feet like a good little intern.
And when she gets to go home she's tired and worn out as all hell and her face and her hair show all signs of her exhaustion.
So she wearily shuffles into her bedroom like a soldier newly returned from combat and collapses upon the bed, scrubs and all. She's too tired to even change, so she just snores and lazily ends up in odd and magnificently awkward positions over the side of her bed in the morning.
Meredith Grey is a determined, sweet and relentless girl, but, when she gets home from a night or a day or two of straight working, she's no stronger than a newborn calf struggling to learn how to walk.
Who is she kidding, she's even weaker than that calf she's thinking about.
When it comes down to it, Meredith Grey is a scared and vulnerable soul who would adore a break every once and a while.
But she doesn't think she's ever getting that break.
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Wow, feedback would be nice…wow, this brings the word crap to a new level.