Every night, as i'm falling asleep in my bed, i'd wish for the same thing. That the next morning i'll wake up and discover that this was all just a dream. It would be bright, because the sun was rising the same time it always did, and I would hear the birds that sat with others of it kind in nearby trees; their voices soft and easy to listen too. The Holy war, exorcists, and akuma: none of it would exist. My only concern that morning would be the same as I had known before I was brought to the Order. Komui would call my name from another room, and I would happily get out of bed, ready to greet him. My big brother would be making breakfast and the tell-tell signs of him doing so badly always made me grin. Komui's cooking skills hadn't improved, and were much worse when we still lived in China. The smoke that brought the smell of burning fish would fill the room and I would hurry to help open doors and windows to air everything out. I dress for the day and welcome the typical routine that always followed an exciting mundane afternoon.

It was something like the end of a bad novel; no conflict, shallow characters, barely any resolution, the kind of story that would disappoint readers. But I don't care how ridiculous it sounds, because I've imagined this scene a thousand times.

"I'm home. I'll be living here with you from now on," Komui told me a long time ago, his eyes assuring me that everything would be ok, and was ok. I had returned from a mission and had awoken to the only face that could have made things seem ok, at the very moment I needed the reassurance that life at the Order couldn't get any worse. I remember crying, because I was so happy to see Komui, and he once again greeted me with his comforting, "I'm home." I hadn't smiled much let alone tried to smile, simply for the fact that I had no reason to try and make everyday in this god forsaken place better. It felt near impossible. When I would come back to headquarters, Komui would meet me every time to welcome me back. "I'm home," I would answer without much life in my voice. I still didn't like calling the Order 'home.' It wasn't home. And without fail, my big brother would always see me off whenever I left, wishing me a safe trip.

I had just returned from a mission and had gone to see the head nurse for first aid, and then was off to my room. "There she is!" someone had yelled excitedly. I found Johnny and the other science department members, beaming happily. "It's good to see you home Lenalee!" I smiled, realizing, this building was more than the Orders headquarters; it was home because the people I had come to care about, my brother, the science department, and Kanda who had joined us sometime before, lived here too. I smiled, and said, "It's good to be home."

I decided that I wasn't that little girl, crying in bed anymore. I've got my brother, and everybody else at home. That alone, gives me the will to fight in this nightmarish world. In the end, i'll come home to my brother, to everyone. I promised myself that. Since my coming to the European branch, i've met people who have my back, as I have theirs. Despite Lvellie's action and cruelty he had instilled into my idea about what this place was, I choose to disregard everything he taught me about the Black Order. In the middle of unfortunate circumstances and less than happy occasions, I have found people who make up the only family i've had. Komui and I had been enough for each other for so long, and my big brother is still more than enough, but everyone i've met makes everything even better.

Kanda's temper and constant empty threats keep things interesting. Lavi's antics paired with Kanda's temper are nothing short of amusing. I prefer to stand back and watch. Allen seems to do the same most of the time. That is until called 'moyashi,' Kanda's favorite nickname for him, and then he's right there joining the fray. Miranda is quiet, but she is nice to talk to when things are crazy or too loud. She listens, and I'm grateful for the company. Krory is an interesting person, and when we talk he never fails to make conversation. The science department is amazing. They appreciate the morning coffee and make sure to let me know. Reever and Johnny, everyone, makes sure to thank me when I arrive with my tray of coffee and when I leave. They start my morning of right. Jerry is always a joy to be around, and never looks happier than when Allen is ordering his food. Jerry takes pride in his cooking and that he makes clear.

So even with the dangerous job exorcists and finders are tasked with, life isn't bleak here at the order. The Asian and European branch together make an unfortunate job and way of life something to look forward to when we get home. And I wouldn't trade anything for what I have now.

Thank you for reading, and stay awesome!