Title: Absolute Quincy Determination
Author: Emeraleyes
Rating: K
Pairing: Ishihime
Summary: There are many things to love about him. There are many things not to love about him. But only one reason to hate him.
Author's Note: Was supposed to be a quick little drabble, then turned into a massive ficlet on steroids. Careful, you might choke on the fluff, and Orihime is OOC like whoa. First foray into a fic inspired by manga/anime, so be kind please.
There were things to love about him. There was the way that he would look at her, out of the corner of his eyes, while pretending to look straight ahead, as if he was afraid to be caught looking directly at her. And, she loved the feeling she got but tried to ignore when he became protective of her - whether it was to ward off the unwanted advances of strangers, or when stepping in front of her during a fight against a powerful enemy, the feeling of being protected by someone strong and determined, and the confidence he gave her that he would rather die than let her down.
But what she loved most about him was the look in his eyes whenever she would thank him for something heroic or kind that he'd done. He'd given his usual response, that it was 'nothing' and there was no need to thank him, but the slight swelling of his chest, and the glimmerings of pride in his eyes - reminding her of a dying flame at the moment it finds a new source of fuel – let her know that her gratitude isn't 'nothing' to him after all. She always made sure to smile for him, to encourage that light of pride to grow, because there was so much for him to be proud of, if only he'd let himself believe it.
There were a few things she didn't love about him, too. She didn't love the way that he would only look at her out of the corner of his eyes, that he was afraid to be caught staring directly at her. She didn't love the fact that she never felt safer than when he was being protective of her, and that he was so protective of her, he felt that his life as a Quincy was too dangerous to involve her in it. And she didn't love that he couldn't see how many things he had to be proud of, that her small words of gratitude had the ability to refuel his confidence when it should always be burning brightly.
And the one thing, the only thing, that she actually hated about him, was his absolute determination. It was the reason he'd been avoiding her for months. Ever since that afternoon he'd walked her home from school...
the last day of school, their last walk together... the day she'd decided that she would say or do anything to break down the barrier he had around himself and end the strange litany of mixed communications that had gone on between them. Before she could do anything, though, a Hollow had attacked.
Ishida, in his usual chivalrous fashion, had tossed her out of the way, and disposed of the attaching Hollow in a matter of minutes. He'd helped her stand up, apologizing and anxious that she'd been hurt. The anxious concern on his face had been more than she could take, and before doubt could stop her, she'd thrown her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Her breath caught in her throat as she noticed how right it felt, standing there with her body pressed against his, holding tightly to him, and how natural it felt.
"Inoue-san!" he'd cried, sounding surprised. Immediately, her face began to burn with embarrassment, and she began a stuttering explanation and litany of thank-yous to him, as she sprang away from him. She giggled nervously, trying to disguise her mortification at being unable to control her feelings, refusing to look him in the eyes as she spouted a lengthy explanation as to what may have caused her to act so strangely.
"Inoue-san," he'd said, this time softly. She looked up at him, meeting his eyes, seeing indecision on his face. She smiled shyly at him, hoping to smooth out the awkwardness now hanging in the air between them. It seemed that helped him decide whatever was weighing on his mind, and he strode forward the few steps that were between them, slipping one arm around her waist, pulling her to him, the other cupping her face, tilting her head up to his. For one instant, he stared down at her with his dark eyes, as if her giver her a second to push him away.
In that instant, she realized with a start that he was going to kiss her! Frozen by the enormity of it (Ishida-kun! Kissing her!), she barely had time to close her eyes like you're supposed to when a boy is kissing you, as he pulled her closer to him and lower his lips towards hers.
When his lips softly touched hers, she forgot everything. How to breathe, how to think. Her eyes popped open against her will, and she could see that Ishida's eyes were properly closed, indicating that he, at least, knew what he was doing. She couldn't figure out what to do with her hands. They were just hanging there, while Ishida-kun's lips were moving against hers, releasing a million butterflies in her stomach. But then he moved his hand from where it was cupping her cheek to tangle in her hair, and pulled her even closer to him, and her eyes drifted shut and her arms moved unconsciously to cling to his chest as she melted against him, all doubts washed away by the sensations of his mouth on hers coursing throughout her body.
Far too soon for Orihime's liking, he'd pulled away, resting his arms against her shoulders. He looked away for a moment, as if he needed to collect himself. All she could do was stare at him, seeing that the same change had come over him that happened when he faced an enemy shinigami in battle; he was all seriousness and determination.
"O-Orihime," he said tentatively, as if unsure of his ability to use her first name. Her hands were resting against his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat pounding, and she marveled for a moment that it was the first time she'd ever felt another's heartbeat, and felt that it was just right that it was his.
"Orihime," he started again, looking at her. "I'm sorry about that."
Her eyes widened in surprise. What was he apologizing for?
"Ishida-kun! No, I, it's..." she trailed off; trying a million different ways to explain that it was more than all right. At a loss for words, she simply reached up and pulled his head lower, so that she could kiss him. Their lips touched for only a moment, before he gently pushed her away.
"It's my turn to be sorry, Ishida-kun, I shouldn't have attacked you like that," she mumbled, a little sheepish, but also terrified that she'd done something to ruin the delicate balance of their friendship.
"No, Inoue-san. It's my turn to thank you," he said quietly, with a soft smile. "But this is hardly the place." They were standing in the street in broad daylight, and his eyes were sparkling at her with a hint of mischievousness in them. She giggled a little, mostly from relief, and he even laughed with her. And then, suddenly, he froze, as if horror-struck.
"What is it?" she asked, immediately concerned. He pulled her by the hand into a nearby alley and forced her to sit down. It was only after he'd lifted her arm to examine it did she notice a large abrasion on her elbow, probably from when she'd fallen during the Hollow attack.
Ishida's face had a hard, cold expression on it, as he gently treated the wound with the first aid kit he kept with him. Orihime sat back, and watched in admiration as his slim hands deftly wrapped gauze around her arm. His hands were trembling slightly, and she couldn't tell if it was because he was feeling what she was whenever their skin brushed together, or if there was something more to it than that. She knew that she couldn't wait until he was done so that they could continue where they'd left off - maybe the same thought was running through his mind?
He helped her to her feet and she left her hand linger in his for a moment. He stared down at it with narrowed eyes, and that cold expression still on his face, so she timidly slipped her hand out of his grasp. He turned away and was standing with his back to her, leaving her feeling a little lost and helpless, unable to see his face and know what he was thinking.
"Inoue-san...what happened before was...very nice," he said awkwardly, as if it would violate some sense of propriety for him to say that he'd liked kissing her. She felt her heart lighten at his words, until he turned around again, facing her with serious expression. "Of all the people I've ever met, you're the only person I'd ever want to do that with. But I am a Quincy and now that school is coming to an end, all of my focus must be on that part of my life. It will be my only focus, and it is dangerous to those around me. I don't want you to get hurt because you are around me, Inoue-san."
He was staring at her bandaged elbow. Orihime finally understood - he blamed himself for her being hurt!
"Because of that, I won't be around, you won't be seeing me much anymore," he said. Orihime opened her mouth to protest - she would explain how clumsy she is, and how it was better that he was around because he was so handy with a first aid kit and he could keep her from dying of blood loss, or that she could take care of herself, she'd been in dangerous situations before and had survived then. But the look in his eye - the Quincy look of pride and determination - stopped her, because she knew that behind it all, this was very hard for him to say and he wanted just as much as she did for him not to have said it. So she smiled.
"It's okay, Ishida-kun! It was only a little kiss, nothing to worry about. A little thank you for protecting me from a Hollow!" she said, a little too exuberantly, eager to hide her sadness. "Just between us friends, right?"
He paused, his eyes sweeping over her with a searching look, and then nodded.
"Thank you, Inoue-san," he said softly, before he turned and walked away. Orihime waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps before she sank back to the ground and tried not to cry.
His determination held strong, indeed. She didn't seem him at graduation, or with any of their small group again. It was as though he'd never been there, had never been a part of her life. She'd cheerfully started university, refusing to give into the sadness that sometimes fell on her, adding a heavy weight to her shoulders. It was silly, she told herself, to be so sad over one little incident. It wasn't like they'd dated or anything! But she missed him, missed his friendship, missed the comfort of his quiet presence and his dependability, she missed the reassurance of his sideways glances in her direction and his very rare smiles.
Socializing at school was also very different for her now. She'd never realized how much attention from the boys in her classes had been deflected by the presence of Ichigo, Tatsuki and Ishida. Without any of them around, she was getting many requests for dates. Whenever a boy would ask, she'd always be surprised, and would look around her to make sure that she was the one they were asking. She generally said no, but after almost a year had gone by, she found herself saying yes to one particularly nice boy in her class.
It was a perfect night. Her date had been very funny and hadn't seemed surprised by what others would consider a strange combination when she'd ordered dinner. Everything had been perfect, but for some reason, in the back of her mind, she knew that something was wrong. He was walking her home, and they were almost at her house, laughing at some story he'd been telling her, when he casually took her hand, holding it is his as they walked. It felt nice to have someone hold her hand.
They turned down the road to her street, and paused to let another person walk by, who seemed to be a great hurry. Orihime glanced at the stranger for a moment, and then did a huge double take, squeezing her date's hand rather painfully in her excitement.
"Ishida-kun!" she cried. "Is that you?"
It was, indeed. He stopped for a moment, meeting her eyes. She saw them flick from her face, to her hand clutching her date's and back to her eyes again. He nodded coldly, to acknowledge that he'd heard her, before he started walking again, without saying a word.
"Friend of yours?" her date asked.
"Someone I used to go to school with," she said, a note of sadness in her voice. The rest of the walk to her place was more subdued, and she found it harder to laugh at her date's jokes. He seemed to notice that she was upset, and tried harder to make her laugh, and Orihime tried harder to like him, but found that she couldn't.
He walked her to the door, and after an awkward moment's hesitation, he leaned in and kissed her softly.
"Thank you for the date," he said with a big smile. When she finally got through her door, closing it thankfully behind her, she sank to the floor, crumpling the skirt of her dress, and wiped tears from her eyes.
She couldn't figure it out. She'd just had a fantastic date, with a very nice boy who really liked her, someone who wasn't just going to kiss her and then tell her he didn't want to see her again. She should be very happy, but all she wanted to do was cry and she couldn't figure out why.
She'd been sitting on the floor of her dark apartment, crying softly, for almost ten minutes when a very quiet knock at the door made her jump. She wiped her face quickly, and took a deep calming breath before she opened the door; terrified it was her date coming back for some reason.
"Oh, hello, Ishida-kun," she said with a smile, completely surprised to see her there. Her voice only trembled a little as she said it, something she was very pleased with. Ishida had a very funny look on his face, and she figured it was probably because her eyes were red and her face was blotchy from crying. The first time she was seeing him in almost a year, and she looked so terrible that he had funny look on his face that he just couldn't hide. She burst into tears again, frustrated by the injustice of it all.
"Inoue-san! What is it? What happened? Why are you crying?" Ishida demanded, his voice low and threatening, but full of concern, which only made her cry harder. "Was it that guy you were with? Did he make you cry?"
"Oh, Ishida-kun, what are you doing here?" she asked, once she was finally able to talk. She never wanted anyone to see her like this. He was the first person to see her cry in years.
"I came to apologize for my rudeness earlier. I should have said hello, but I didn't want to interrupt," he said calmly, as he guided her into her apartment, sat her down, gave her a tissue and waited for her to stop crying enough to be able to speak. "Now what happened, Inoue-san?"
"I don't know."
"Then why are you crying?" he asked, confused, but also angry. The happy and optimistic girl he had saved in his memory was not the upset and emotional girl in front of him. It made him angry that she was so upset and vowed to kill whoever it was that had made her cry, because to make a cheerful girl like her sad would take something really bad.
"I don't know."
"Was it your date?"
"I think so. I didn't start crying until I got home."
"Did he do something?" Ishida demanded fiercely, which only started a fresh round of tears.
"No," Orihime sniffed.
"Did he say something?"
"No. It was a perfect date, he was a really nice boy."
"Then why are you crying, Inoue-san?" he asked, slightly frustrated by his inability to get to the bottom of the problem.
"Because he wasn't you!" she cried out suddenly. She buried her face into his shoulder, her arms clutching at his chest. "Please don't go away again, Ishida-kun!"
Ishida sat there, as she cried softly into his shirt, shocked by what she'd said. He'd walked away that day, as hard as it had been, in order to keep her safe from the kind of life he knew he was going to have. He never wanted to be the reason she was hurt.
But yet, here she was, crying for the first time that he'd ever seen, because of him. He, who had promised himself to protect her, was the one who was hurting her. His determination to stay away from her, the only force of will that had kept him from seeking her out on lonely days when memories of the brief kisses they'd shared tortured him, crumbled as the realization that he was the reason she was crying took hold in his brain.
He gathered her to him, pulling her close against his body, resting his cheek against the top of her head.
"No, Orihime, I won't go away again, I promise," he said, his voice rough with emotion that his Quincy pride struggle to keep contained. And then he kissed her, a kiss full of the emotions, desperation and longing that he'd been holding back since he left her, determined to immediately start making up for every moment she'd spent in tears because of him.
Another one of the important reasons that she loved him was that he always kept his promises.
The End
