I do not own the TMNT

Mikell suggested I write one of those "author-meets-turtles" stories... Little did she know I'd had it done for over a year.

This was written at three am on my last day before Christmas break, freshman year. Before this I had a steadfast rule about the author not interacting with her characters but at three AM a lot of rules tend to go out the window. I was on the verge of a mental and emotional breakdown and rather than scream loudly enough for the entire dorm to come running and then fall into the fetal position, I grabbed a notebook and pen. This is what happened next...

"Hi."

"Hello." Strange, a moment before I could have sworn I was alone in the suite, but that was clearly not the case. Unless I really was alone. Most of the school had already gone home and believe me it wouldn't be the first time my imagination got the best of me.

"What are you doing?" My visitor asked politely.

I glanced down at my front. What I was doing was sitting in the bathroom of my suite wearing pajamas I wouldn't be caught dead in were the situation different. "Sitting." I told the person.

"I see that. On the floor too." Thank you Captain Obvious, Defender of the Duh.

"Yep."

"With a notebook…why?"

Well that was a stupid question. "Because I already packed my laptop."

"Oh." I wasn't sure yet, but I thought my visitor was a girl, that would be a good thing because my pajamas weren't suited for male company. "That explains it." By then I was getting seriously worried about who this visitor might be, but I was still questioning my sanity and didn't want to prove myself into the loony bin just yet. My guest –real or imagined- apparently looked around the room and drew yet another conclusion. "In the bathroom."

No, of course not, we always keep our toiletries and plumbing in the library. "Yep."

"Again, why?"

Silly question. "I'm waiting for the toilet to flush." I glanced at the toilet. There was almost no water in the bowl and what little water there was gurgled slightly at me. The water is a rather disgusting color and the bowl was way overdue for a good scrubbing, or maybe a major sand blasting. The mess was rather embarrassing and I self-consciously looked over my shoulder to see what my visitor thought. Her expression was lost to my memory when I became temporarily distracted by my guest's appearance; purely scientific interest of course.

"HOLY CRAP!" In order to expand my field of vision -again in scientific interest- I crawled back rapidly. The fact that my hip was injured when I wedged myself between the toilet and the wall is merely due to my natural lack of coordination and had nothing to do with the screaming or the shouting echoing off the bathroom walls. "ow…"

"There a problem?" If anything my guest looked amused.

"You…you're black!" I couldn't help but stutter.

I swear, it smirked at me. "What, you're not racist are you?"

"You are literally black! And furry! … Wait…I know you! You're Kit! But you're not real!"

"Whatever slick. Now; why are you sitting next to the toilet?"

"It's clogged, won't flush right." I managed to explain as I turned the page of my notebook.

"Did you try the plunger?" Kit asked. She leaned a little closer to the toilet and the fur over her nose fluffed up as she wrinkled her muzzle against what I assume was a pretty bad smell.

"No plunger, not even a toilet brush." Logically speaking; if I was seeing a fictional character of my own creation then I must have lost my mind, but if I've lost my mind how can I possibly be thinking logically? This is a conundrum worth Mr. Spock's consideration, I wonder if he'll be showing up…

Kit hummed as she considered what I had just told her. "That is a problem… Maybe Don can help."

"Wait! Why are you in my-"

"Don! We need an expert here!"

"-bathroom?" I finished, my ears ringing as her shouting echoed in the bathroom.

"What is it?" A male voice outside the room called.

"There's more of you?" This was too much, surely if I were losing my mind it would have stopped at the one…

"We need some help in here!" Kit called, "What do you know about toilets?"

"Probably less than you." A… giant… um… turtle? Yeah, a giant turtle with a blue mask stuck his head into the bathroom. He wore leather gear but didn't carry a weapon for some reason. "Why are you sitting on the floor?" The turtle asked. Thankfully he didn't seem to notice my nightshirt… or short-shorts.

Kit answered for me. "She's waiting for the toilet to flush right."

Just then the toilet let off a loud, ceramic belch. The three of us stared at it for a moment before I reached over and pulled the handle. The bowl filled with water, then stopped.

The turtle nodded. "Looks clogged, did you try a plunger?"

While Kit rolled her eyes I explained. "No plunger." Why was there a giant turtle in my bathroom? Especially Leo… what was Leonardo doing in the girl's side of the dorm? Especially at this hour of the night…

"She doesn't even have anything to substitute with." Kit added while I turned another page on my notebook.

"Hmmm, that is a problem." Leo nodded. He was looking at the toilet and seemed to be pondering the clog with all the determination he would normally give negotiating with Karai… would she be showing up?

"Raph refuses to give up his sais and the dorm mother refuses to let him past with them." Another turtle walked into the bathroom. Unlike Leo he wore a purple mask and carried a bag. "Something about a 'no guns, knives or weapons' policy." He'd barely stepped into the room before seeing me and quickly leaving. I'm not sure but I think he was blushing, I know I was. I would have never worn that particular outfit if I'd known anyone could possibly have seen me.

Yet another head with an orange mask stuck his head in. "Dudette, your dorm is a mess."

"I, uh, you, packing…" quite simply, it was too much. "I'm… I have three mutant turtles and a mutant cat in my bathroom! Aw man! The dorm lady's going to throw a fit! They'll kick me out for sure!"

Mikey smirked at Leo, "And you thought I was a spaz."

I continued logically breaking the situation down by babbling like a bleeding idiot. "…The stupid toilet's clogged, I still have a final tomorrow and tons of packing to do and now I have imaginary characters in my bathroom!" Realization of something else didn't stop the babbling, "Oh SHOOT! If my suitemates come back they'll have a panic attack! Drunken, panicking suitemates! That's just what I need right now! This is just perfect! I can't…"

Leo frowned. "We should probably help her."

Donnie agreed from outside the bathroom. "That sounds good, but how?"

My input came in the form of, "…and then my dad will show up! Perfect! I'll explain to him how everything's just great while they load me into a paddy wagon with my suitemates!..."

Leo frowned. "I think she's starting to hyperventilate, we need to snap her out of it." He said.

Kit suddenly grinned and stepped forward. Roughly she seized me by the shoulders. Sometimes at night I can still hear my brain rattling from the shake she gave me. "Pull it together!"

I respond very well to painful and disorienting stimuli. Not too many more brain cells had to die before I recovered enough to grab her hands and grunt, "I'm okay!" Finally Kit released me and stepped back. As she did the toilet gurgled again. Leo helpfully stepped forward and flushed it for me while I found my notebook and turned yet another page.

He then helped me to my feet as Donnie called, "We're going to help you, what needs to be taken care of?"

I tried to organize my thoughts as I wandered out of the bathroom. "Well, other than the plumbing situation I have to finish packing all my stuff…all of it…"

Leo smiled encouragingly despite the pile of laundry he was standing on. "That shouldn't take too long." He said optimistically.

"…Except I don't have enough bags." I finished.

"Oh."

I nodded and continued. "Then I need to study for my final tomorrow; wait, it's after midnight so the test is today. I have to turn in my keys for the dorm and I still have to strip my bed- but I have to sleep in it first. I also have to vacuum and I have to get my stuff out of the dorm and my ride's going to be here by noon-" While I honestly have no idea where it came from while I had spoken a tone began to sound that grew steadily higher until the turtles cringed and the mutant cat clapped her hands over her ears. "And that one girl said she needed to talk with me before I left and I really don't have time for this!..." After this point I know I kept talking but I couldn't really remember what I was saying as the panic set in again. "I'm going to die!"

"Quick! Somebody shake her again!" Mikey shouted.

The end of this story? I finished writing and went to bed. Mysteriously though, I woke up in the morning and the toilet was unclogged. Neither my roommate nor the suitemates had come home from partying all night...

After that things seemed to work out surprisingly well... until the turtles decided they had the right to pop up in my room whenever they wanted.