How could a person be so perfect? A question you were asking yourself, whenever you saw Dean. Of course you weren't blind to his flaws, but they didn't make you love him any less.
Yes, love. You had fought the feeling for so long, but in the end, your heart won. And how could you not with all the gentle touches, the worried glances, the flirty remarks, that damn smirk and his stunning green eyes.
"God, I love you," you muttered, as you were watching Dean sitting opposite you, reading one of the lore books.
Dean's head snapped up, looking at you with wide eyes. "What did you say?"
"Um…" it was your turn to widen your eyes. Fuck. Did you say that out loud? "I-I mean like, you know…"
Dean balled his fists and clenched his jaw. "Don't. Don't say that ever again!"
You flinched at his harsh words. You knew that someone like Dean would never fall for someone like you, so you kept your feelings to yourself. Deep down you knew if he ever found out, he'd reject you, but definitely not like this. Damn, you ruined everything.
Your shoulders slumped and you looked away from the man who just broke your heart. "I'm sorry, I didn't- I- I'm sorry if I've made things awkward-"
"No," Dean shut the book forcefully and got up. "Just forget it. Forget me. It'll never happen, you hear me? People who come too close to me die, Y/N! You already have a target over your head by working with us, if I- if we-" but he never finished his sentence. He turned around and stacked out of the room, leaving you behind, dumbstruck by what just happened.
Damn you, Winchester.
One hour, 3 shots of whisky and a lot of thinking about what he said, you made your way through the bunker hallways in a search for Dean.
You knocked on his door and when he didn't answer, you pushed the door open slowly. Empty. You walked to the garage, thinking he was probably working on Baby like every time when things got complicated and he needed his distance. You pushed the door open and found it empty as well. At least Baby was still parking there, so he wasn't drinking away his sorrow in next bar. A sigh of relief left your lips.
As you strolled through the hallways, wondering where he was hiding, you heard water running in the bathroom. As you walked closer to the noise, you saw it was open ajar. You could see Dean washing his hand furiously, a frown on his face. You took a deep breath, recalling everything you needed to tell him and braced yourself for his answers.
"Dean," you said, sounding braver than your felt, "I think we need to talk."
Dean shook his head, not even looking at you. "I don't think so." He dried his hand and stalked passed you.
You scoffed and followed him to his room. His attitude about the whole situation started to piss you off. When he entered the room, you slipped in, before he had a chance to stop you or close the door.
"Y/N," he growled.
"Nope, not having it," you said and sat down at the end of his bed. "I can't and I won't pretend it didn't happen."
Dean sighed defeated and closed the door. When he turned around you almost gasped. Only know you really looked at him. His hair was mused and his eyes were red like he'd been… no way.
He slumped down next to you. "We can't Y/N."
"Bullshit," you scoffed. "Everything you said in the library was nothing but bullshit, Winchester."
"Y/N-" he clenched his jaw, and you knew if you wouldn't talk fast, the whole scene from the a few hours ago would repeat.
"Working with you and Sam doesn't put a target over my head. I'm a hunter, Dean, I've had a target over my head since I entered this life and you know it! And this whole 'people who come too close to me die' is also bullshit. They died because they were hunters or because of their decisions, not because you happened to be there! And do you know what is pissing me off the most?" you asked, looking directly into his eyes, that were starring at you in wonder. You'd never talked to him like this.
"It's pissing me off that you won't let yourself be happy, because of something you've been telling yourself for so long, that you started believing it." You took a deep and shaky breath, hoping it would keep the tears at bay for a few more moments. "I love you, Dean, and if you don't want to be with me, that's okay. I won't say it won't hurt like a bitch, but it's okay. But please, please don't fight yourself and let yourself be happy." A sob wrecked your body as you finished.
Before you knew it, you were wrapped in Dean's strong arms. Your head was lying against his chest as one of his hands stroke your back soothingly.
"I'm afraid," he whispered into your hair. "I care for you so much Y/N, and I'm afraid to lose you, too."
You looked up to him. "You won't lose me."
"You can't promise that, Y/N."
"How often have you saved my life, Dean? As long as you're by my side I don't only feel save, but I am save."
His green eyes were searching yours and for a second you thought he was about to argue, when he tilted his head and pressed his plump lips against yours.
Eventually you had to break the kiss for some air. Dean leaned his head against yours. "I'm sorry for what I said and for being so harsh."
"You're forgiven if you keep kissing me like this," you said, a bit out of breath.
"Your wish is my command, but be careful what you wish for," he said with his trademark smirk, before ducking his head to meet your lips once again.