January 19th! Happy birthday, Gaara! We love you! 3

Note: Story is from Gaara's point of view. Also, it's really short because I wanted to finish it tonight, on his actual birthday. Wewt.

- - -

It's my birthday again. Birthdays suck. Especially when the people you want to kill get together and throw a party for you. I really hope everyone forgets it's my birthday today. Because if they throw a party, I'll have to kill them.

...Why aren't they all already dead, anyway?

My siblings I are back in Konoha, just because Temari wanted to visit this lazy-ass kid named Shikamaru. It's been such a waste of time, and I haven't killed anyone in almost two whole days.

So, hoping everyone has forgotten what day it is, I stroll down the streets of Konoha, giving passersby that evil "I'mma keel joo" look. It's fun to see the fear on their faces.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Damn. It's Naruto, that ramen-happy overly-hyper loser. I freaking hate him. Why haven't I killed him before?

I respond with, "Hn," shooting a cold glare at him.

Unfazed, Naruto grins at me. "I made you a cake!"

Why isn't he intimidated?

"It's a ramen cake! Ooh, by the way! I love your eyeliner!"

The idiot finally struck a nerve. Damn it, it's not freaking eyeliner! "Yeah, nice whiskers." I give him that creepy, manic grin. "Want to die?"

"Not until I become the greatest Hokage ever!" Naruto responds, throwing a fist triumphantly into the air. "Dattebayo!"

What the hell is wrong with this kid?

"Ooh, ooh, Gaara!"

He's getting really annoying. I wonder if I should kill him now. The cork pops out of my gourd and faint wisps of sand begin to emerge.

"What do you want?" I keep my voice low and venomous, still trying to scare him.

"Come on, we've got a special surprise for you!"

Ah, great.

He grabs my arm and starts dragging me somewhere. Obviously, the sand wraps around his arm, making a loud snapping noise as it breaks the bone.

"Gyaaaah!"

Finally, a scream of pain mixed with a hint of fear.

"What was that for?" he whimpers, clutching his broken, bleeding arm.

"You piss me off," I reply simply, strolling past him in the direction of the ramen shop. "I'm going to find some people to kill."

"Happy birthday!"

Oh, no. It's that bitch with the pink hair. What's her name? Sakuratard or something like that? God, I hate her.

"Surprise!" she cries out happily, waving again. Her voice pisses me off so badly.

Naruto's face brightens despite the blood dripping from his limp arm. "Look, look!" He pulls me by the arm inside some ramen shop and points to a cake on one of the tables. "I made it myself! See?"

It's a cake made of freaking ramen! What the hell!?

Looks like the gang's all here: Naruto; the conceited raven-haired boy; the whore with the pink hair; their pervy sensei who reads the Icha-Icha books; that guy with the giant eyebrows and ugly hairstyle I fought before; my brother (jeez, I hate his makeup); my sister (jeez, I hate her hair); and a bunch of other ninja from Konoha including the lazy-ass Nara boy.

Balloons were tied to the chairs, streamers were hung up everywhere, and the revolting-looking ramen cake was the centerpiece.

Also - there were presents. Lots of presents. Mainly stuffed pandas and eyeliner.

It's not funny.

Seriously.

Screw you all.

Happy birthday.

Love, Gaara