AN: Hey everyone this is my very first attempt at publishing and writing a FanFic, so be kind LOL. This One Shot is an entry for a contest.
Beta:Dorme99, U rock and I would say I owe you my first born but he's already here, LOL. Hopefully you'll settle for a Wolfy Hug :-)
Paws & Art
Title: Hanging High
Penname: JB-Wolfgirl86 (Jacob's Sweetheart86)
Banner:#9
Rating:MA
Summary: Banner # Jacob has to decide who he can survive without his Wife or the girl of his fantasies. This is an adventure in Blackwater but Bella is involved. I do use mild foul language and there are some sexual situations but no citrus. I hope you like and please review!
To see all the stories that are a part of this contest please visit: http: / / printingpawss . blogspot . com/

Hanging High

Oh I'm hanging high
Oh won't you let me down
Back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
And when it hurts the most
I'll push a little more
I'm back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost
Like lightning in my heart
A kiss so burning hot
I'm hanging on a thread that's bound to drop
Like rain on open skies
Don't know the reason why
But I'll always choose the black in front of white
- Lykke Li, " Hanging High"

I never understood why some people think that living a double life is hard. Living a life of secrets, lies, and passion is easier to do when you morph into a gigantic wolf. To say I have problems is an understatement, on the outside I look like anyone else. Sure, I am tall, tan, and built; but I am also the model son, the Chief of the Quileute nation, and running a very profitable mechanic and auto parts business. On a personal level I finally have the woman of my teenage dreams, Bella. She's mine all mine.

So, with all that said I shouldn't want for anything, but I do. I have dark side to me that is still in love with her. Everyday, it calls out for her. I need her because she started to replace Bella in my heart and if I am being truly honest with myself she's in my heart to stay.

Just thinking about Leah's name makes my whole body hurt. Just to say her name or hear it is starting to drive me insane. Leah has always been around hanging out with my sisters, but I remember the first time I noticed her as more than just Rachel and Rebecca's friend.

Flashback 5 years ago

"What are you doing Black? Messing around with car parts again, typical." Leah was leaning in the doorway of my garage sprouting her usual insults.

I turn my head in her direction and retort, "You know Leah, don't you have a little brother and a boyfriend that you can fuck with? I'm just saying what I do should be the least of your worries."

Leah walks into my garage and props herself up against the russet colored truck I am working on for Charlie. He plans on giving it to Bella when she returns to Forks in a couple of weeks, and this time it's for good. Leah continues to take up space when suddenly she says , " Maybe I'm not picking on you Jacob, maybe I want to help you? Maybe I don't look at you in the same light that I see my little brother Seth in."

This was not what I was expecting her to say. I slide out from under the truck to look at her face because I was counting down the seconds until she yelled, "Just kidding Black, you're such a sucker!"

Yet that's not the look she had on first when I locked eyes with her. There was only seriousness in her gaze, and something I couldn't put my finger on but it kicked my heartbeat up a notch. For the first time, I really got a good look at her. She was beautiful and not in the girl next door or my sister is beautiful kind of way; no she looked like a woman. The kind that graces the covers of Maxim magazine or Victoria's Secret. She was the woman of my dreams. I am starring into her eyes and she's looking back at me waiting for me to say something. What the hell am I suppose to say to her? She has a boyfriend, a serious boyfriend. Sure he's been acting strange lately but their working it out, right?

"Jacob, are you going to say something, anything? I know this is weird, but I feel like I am losing Sam. Things haven't been the same since he's came back from his weeks on sabbatical or whatever the hell he was doing! I know we're not going to make it, I can feel him slipping away. Jacob the only thing that makes it bearable is you. I think of you and I feel free, alive, and new."

Leah lets out a breath I don't even think she knew she was holding. I look into her hazel eyes. Leah' eyes threatened to spill over with tears at any moment. What am I going to say to her? I wish this was all some sort of joke but it's not. I wish that I was dreaming. Honestly, I've never felt more alive. I stand up and wipe my dirt and grease covered hands on my already stained jeans.

"Leah, where is all this coming from? I mean what are you saying exactly? Yes, we're close, almost like family now that Rachel and Rebecca are off discovering the world outside the reservation. Your engaged, look at your left hand Leah. Sam isn't leaving you."

I grab her hand to try to ground her in reality, to make her see the truth in my words. When I touched her hand that day, something happened. The air around us changed, the heavens and the earth under our feet shifted. Faster than I thought humanly possible Leah was on top of me. I don't know when we went from standing to laying on the futon in the corner, but I was glad to be there. Leah was kissing me and I was kissing her back. I don't know when or how we ended up naked. Time seemed to be moving in slow motion but fast forwarding all at the same time. Does ecstasy feel like this?

The next thing I register is the fact that I didn't know where her body ended and mine began. Before this I never even kissed a girl, or seen one naked in real life but it didn't matter because in this never ending moment I knew what to do. I just knew what Leah wanted and she definitely knew what she was doing to me. I don't think we spoke a word but when it was over Leah left that day with more than just my virginity she took a piece of my heart. A piece I am just now realizing she had all this time. A piece that is growing bigger each day.

End of Flashback

"Jake! Jake, Jake! JJJJJAAAAAKKKEEEEEE!"

Bella is screaming my name to the point that her porcelain cheeks are stained with her natural blush. She's quirking her eyebrows at me in irritation. "Jake, what are you in here thinking about in the middle of the night? You never came to bed; I was so cold without you."

She's looking at me with those doe eyes of hers, those chocolate pools that have caused both of us big time drama.

"Honey, I was just thinking about my speech for the ground breaking ceremony for the new tribal center and school. I don't want to disappoint my dad, and you know this is my first big thing as an Elder and a Chief. I just want it to be perfect."

I get up and walk over to the doorway were my very beautiful and very pregnant wife is standing with her arms folded across her chest, she is staring at me as if she's trying to look into my soul. Bella isn't easily fooled she knows I was not thinking about my speech, but she's not going to call me on it because that's an argument that is over before it even starts. If I was being honest with myself and I am being honest today, then I'd realize I am an asshole. I mean I finally got what I thought I wanted. What I said I'd fight for until her heart stopped beating. Bella, Bella, Bella her name doesn't even make me feel like it use to, and I know it's because of Leah.

I take her hand and walk with her back to our bedroom. "Bella, I know things have been hard lately I just want to make sure everything is in order before the baby comes; but in a few weeks it'll just be the three of us for awhile, okay?"

I finish my explanation as we reach the bed and Bella is already making herself comfortable. I am standing there looking at her and the bed trying to figure out if I really want to be in there with her, but it's too late to back out now, her hand is extended toward me in an effort to pull me in behind her. I follow her command and lay down with a heavy heart and confused mind. I really do love Bella, or at least I thought I did all those years ago. In some sick, twisted, dark fantasy way I now know what she meant when she told me, "I love you but it's not enough." I get it an feel it now. I love Bella, but now I know I love Leah more.

Bella brings me out of my masochistic thoughts when she turns to face me and says, "This is what you wanted Jacob. I mean this is what you fought so hard for. I gave him up for you, Jake. I walked away from not just Edward, but his family, the money, everything for you. Hell, I left him at our wedding reception for you. I can't lose you Jake! Not to her. I mean we're having a baby Jacob; we're married, we have a life together! You promised me it was over and you said that you would never leave me with this baby alone. Or do you not care about us anymore? I mean maybe I should just kill myself and make it easy on you? Is that what you want me to do? Huh, is that what you want me to do Jacob!"

I take a deep breath. I knew this was coming. She gets more and more self-destructive everyday and everyday I see how wrong I was in believing her. I am well versed in her daily threats of self mutilation and suicide, her daily and hourly rants to guilt me into doing her bidding; and more importantly her daily reminder of all the wealth and happiness she walked away from for me. I guess a seven figure salary , and being with a shape shifting alpha to a pack of overgrown men was being with a loser these days.

"Isabella, I never held a gun to your head and forced you to come with me. You made a choice that night (and so did I), and since that night I have tried to make you happy. (and since that night I have tried to forget Leah, but I can't.) I was honest with you I let you know what went on between Leah and me. I was torn and bruised and in love with both of you just like you were in love with Edward and me!"

I gave her a minute to process what I was saying, but I also gave me a minute to think about the things I wasn't saying. " Your right, I did make promises, we took vows (so did you and Leah...you marked her.) and I am trying here Bella, I am but I still have memories, ok. They just don't go away and now she's back..."

I rub my hands across my face and leave that sentence hanging in the air between us. I am not confident in how I should end that sentence. She's back, but what does that mean? I want things to be like before, but they can't, right? I mean she's back but things have changed I'm married now to the girl of my dreams... the girl of my teenage dreams.

Bella interrupted my internal monologue. "Jake, I don't want to fight. I don't want to dig up the past. I just want you to love me for me. I just want to be your world again. Let's just go to sleep ok." Bella finished her apology, I guess that was an apology. She kissed me and I let her do it even though I felt empty. Even though, I felt like something was wrong with her, with me, with us. Bella drifted off to sleep while I laid there with her heavy in my arms as my mind began to drift again.

After that fateful day in the garage with Leah, we started a relationship of sorts. A relationship that started out very physical and very much away to escape all the problems she was having with Sam. I used her to fill in the gaps I guess. No words were needed she'd show up and used me as a canvass to paint out all the feelings she had inside but didn't want to talk about. We never made promises or any kind of declarations but every time we were close it felt like we were in are own little world. We were surrounded by love and light and peace, it was magical, and we were hanging high. When we did talk it was more along the lines of a teacher talking to pupil, was I the teacher or the student? I didn't really care, but that all changed when Sam left Leah for her cousin Emily.

She became the predator and I was definitely her prey. She was a wolf in sheep's clothing and I was the lamb; but still I loved every moment of it. At the same time, the beautiful soul I knew as a child turned black with everyone but me. Sometimes I wish I would have taken her up on her offer back then. I wish I just had settled for being Bella's best friend and save all three of us the drama.

Flashback 4 years 6 months ago

"Leah, you don't know what your saying. It's too soon. I get that Sam has moved on and you feel like you want to move on too but with me Leah? Really how would that work?" I looked into Leah's eyes she was thinking too deep as usual. When did our relationship, friendship, mutual agreements get this far out of hand. It was suppose to be casual. I was supposed to be learning something for the future, things that I could use on another girl. My teenage dream who was Bella. I didn't want to tell Leah about how Bella was more to me than just a friend that I was helping during a rough time; but I owed it to Leah to tell her.

Leah was pissed and she turned to look out the car window before she began to speak. "Your turning into Sam. I can see it more and more each day. Look at you, your body is not the same anymore your filling out everyday. Soon, you'll be just like Paul, Jared, and Embry following behind Sam every where he goes! What's wrong with me Jacob?"

She turned her back to the window to face me; her eyes were accusing me of a betrayal that hasn't really happened yet. She continued her rant, "I am good enough to take your virginity, I am good enough to sneak away with, I am good enough to fuck all the time, but I am not good enough to be the future chief's wife? That's it, right Black?"

Her face was now stained with tears and her eyes were back on mine pleading with me to tell her she's wrong. Or maybe she wants me to say that she's right.

"Love, that's not the truth. You know it's more than just sex with us Leah. I love you, I've just, I am IN love with someone else." I wasn't lying but it felt like I was because I was very much IN love with Leah maybe even more than I was in love with Bella.

"You're more than good enough for me Leah and I am never going to run off and follow Sam and his gang. I hate him for what he did to you. You already know this."

I leaned a little closer to Leah thankfully, this car had bench front seats. Then suddenly I was speaking the truth to her, " You already know this Leah you are my life today, tomorrow, forever."

She moved closer to and then my traitors lips spoke again, "Just not like that. I am sorry." I finished my speech and grabbed her into my arms. We were parked in our spot a little hideaway we found up in Hoquiam, a place were we could be close and no one would know. Leah grabbed my face and undid my ponytail. As my black curtain of hair surrounded us, she inched her face closer and when Leah's sweet lips touched mine I felt that magical connection that we've always shared since that day in my garage.

Leah began to talk in between her lips connecting with my skin, "Black, do you think we can make love out of lust? Do you think that we can ever be more than this? I know about Bella. I know you have feelings for her, but Jake she's broken and it may never work between you two. I'll wait. I'll wait for you Black."

She started taking off my clothes and I let her, Lord knows I couldn't deny her, but I couldn't speak at the moment either. I didn't want to think about not getting my dream girl. I didn't want to think about not making love to Leah ever again. I was caught between the two. Once her hand reached inside my pants I was all hers at least for the night.

End of Flashback

Life is hard, but life goes on. I need to sleep and these flashbacks of a fool are not helping; I need to, no I have to make a choice tonight. I've got to remember everything I did and I've got to make it right. I turned over in bed away from Bella and looked at the clock. It was two in the morning and I was more confused than ever. Leah had been right I did end up following Sam and his gang around it just wasn't what she thought it was. We were a pack not a gang. Leah was right about Bella too because she never gave me a chance she went running back to her bloodsucker.

Matter of fact she ran half way around the world to save him and brought him back to Forks. What Leah didn't know was that her father was going to die, or that Seth and her were about to join the clandestine world of supernatural creatures. Thank God, Leah and I were able to keep our thoughts to ourselves most of the time and keep the pack out of our arrangement. Bella came back with her Leech and his sparkly family in tow, and whatever chance that we had together seemed lost forever. So I did what I do best. I substituted the holes in my life with Leah. I replaced Bella with Leah.

Flashback 3 years and 6months ago

"I don't care anymore Leah. I don't care if the whole pack knows about us. I don't care if Bella finds out about us. Let's really do it this time. Let's really be together officially." We were parked out at our favorite spot in Hoquiam again. Her face lit up like Christmas morning. I had finally spoken the words she has been waiting for, and Lord knows she has waited long enough. Leah was mine and I loved it for the moment. I was trying to be the man and the Alpha I was born to be now. So, who was better than Leah to be by my side? My internal voice answered me Bella, Bella could have been there; but if she wanted to be with Edward than so be it. I can be with Leah. I am with Leah. She loves me, she adores me, she needs me, and she's mine.

"Today, tomorrow, forever."

Leah states our almost sacred vows as she starts to unbutton her black dress. She locks eyes with me before she continues, "If we do this now Black there's no going back. I'll never go back to being your placeholder."

Leah threw her dress into the back seat and reached out for my hand. I let her pull me to her; I let her take my silence and compliance as an answer. As if she is reading my mind she stops kissing me and told me I needed to say it. She leaves out but implies that I more importantly need to mean it.

"Leah, I promise you, today, tomorrow, forever I'll only make love to you." At the time I believed it. I really wanted it to be true. I wanted to forget all about Bella Swan and her sparkly ass boyfriend. I wanted Leah so I took her, claimed her, and marked her so the whole word would know that she was mine! I also hoped that it would stop that nagging feeling I had for Bella.

End of flashback

Lying in this bed was not helping at all. I got up and headed for the sofa. This whole situation was royally fucked up, but then I did this to myself. I marked Leah way back then and Sam, my dad, and the council were not happy about it but what could they do? I had took over as Alpha and technically I was Chief, so what could they really do but grumble and complain. Things between Leah and I were great for a while until Bella started to creep her way back into my life.

Bella did find out about Leah and me. I mean her father was just starting to hang around Sue Clearwater more and he was able to give her all the sordid details. From Leah spending late nights and early morning at my place to Charlie catching Leah and I in her bed and a very compromising position. I hope she was hurting so needless to say I was surprised when she invited me and Leah to her graduation party. I was even more surprised to learn that the Cullen clan had been planning for a battle between them and a newborn army of vampires who were coming after Bella. Great, just what I needed a distraction so I offered the packs help; I mean our whole reason for existing is to kill the cold ones and these vampires were not protected in the treaty. Plus, that little voice and my head wanted to still please Bella I wanted to be her hero.

Leah already knew this was about my need for Bella and she took the opportunity once we were alone to remind me I was her's now forever. If we weren't wolves I think Leah wouldn't have been able to walk right after the things I did to her that night in my garage. I had to teach her a lesson for doubting me, but in the end she was right.

We fought alongside our enemy that day and emerged victorious against the newborn army, and once everything had settled down Bella came to my house and dropped a bomb on me.

Flashback 3 years and 2 months ago

"Jake, I need to talk to you for a moment alone, if that's ok with Leah?"

Bella looked at Leah and me with pleading eyes. What was she even doing here? I mean what could we possibly have left to talk about? Leah, reached up and placed her hand on my check so that I would look her in the eyes she nodded her head yes and then turned to face Bella and said, " If he wants to talk to you I won 't stop him."

Bella nodded her head, turned her molten chocolate gaze on me and asked, "So can we, talk Jake it won't take long. I am sure you'll be glad to hear what I have to say."

I rose up from spot on the sofa a little too eagerly for Leah's liking because she turned her attention back to the television. I followed her out of the house and into the backyard. We didn't say anything or acknowledge the others presence until we reached my garage.

Once, we were inside she spun around to face me but I cut her words off with my own reply, "Well, you've got me alone what's your big and important news. What's so important that you felt you needed to tear yourself away from your beloved leech and grace us poor natives with your presence."

I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh but I had a feeling that this was going to bad. Bella shifted on her feet and stared at the dirt floor of my garage as if it held the answers to all our problems. She finally lifted her hair out of her face and let her mahogany waves fall down her shoulders.

She started talking but she never lifted her gazed from the floor. When did she get so timid and small? Where was my Bella, where was my teenage dream? "Jake, Jacob, Edward and I are getting married in two months. He's going to change me but he'll do it once we're out of Forks so he doesn't violate the treaty. I know you have a life now that doesn't involve me anymore but I thought you should know. I wanted it to come from me. I was stupid before, I didn't know what I could have had with you. I hope Leah doesn't make the same mistake.

I love you Jacob. I am in love with you and I can't bear watching you be with Leah it hurts too much. So, I owe to Edward, I owe it to Leah, and I owe it to you to make this marriage work with him. I've been told that once your changed your human memories start to fade so that's the only solution I can come up with to get over you. Maybe, I'll just die in the process of becoming a vampire that would be an even better solution for you. You wouldn't have to worry about me anymore; or maybe I'll die before that even happens. Edward and I are going on a honeymoon and he just might kill me then. I don't know maybe by some sick twist of fate I'll make it through our honeymoon alive and I'll make it through the change too; and the pack will have to take me out like the newborns."

Bella started laughing and finally raised her head to look at me in the eyes. She took a step forward and put her arms around me. I felt her trying to breathe me in.

"Bells, what has gotten into you? Why say all of that. You made the choice here not me. I was there for you I fought for you. I put you back together and you said it wasn't enough. So, yeah I went with Leah. I was with her long before you showed up. Stop, trying to make me feel bad, if that's the life you want, if that's the risk your willing to take then so be it. I am not the one to blame your situation on Bella; this, this whole fucked up mess is all your fault!"

Reaching my head up to her face, I cupped her cheek, and kissed her forehead and then I let her go and walked out of the garage. I was walking away from the dream. I was going to live my reality, and the reality was that Edward had won. I didn't want to lose especially to a filthy bloodsucking leech.

End of Flashback

If only walking out of the garage that day would have solved all my problems. If only I could have really walked away from Bella that day and been happy with Leah; but at the time Leah was Leah, and she wasn't what I thought I needed. She wasn't Bella.

It took Bella exactly two months to plan a wedding and it took me the same amount of time to decide to ruin my entire life. Leah has been out of my life for three years because of what I did on Bella's wedding day to Edward.

Leah, Leah, Leah her name is like my heartbeat; she's the woman of my dreams, but she is also the woman of my nightmares. Everything about her haunts me and truth be told the minute I turned my back on her I was in pain but I used Bella to numb it and to push it away. I used Bella like a painkiller, a drug to substitute my need for Leah. When did they switch in my heart?
When did I stop looking at Leah as the replacement and Bella as my dream girl? Problem is I don't want a girl, I want a woman. I want just one woman in particular. Leah, I can still smell her scent in my nose. Her exotic blend of vanilla and citrus during the summer months; and vanilla, sandalwood, and cinnamon in the winter.

In my mind's eye, I can see every line of her skin, down to her rabbit shaped birthmark on her inner thigh. I can still feel her warm embrace and the softness of her hair rubbing up against my chest . I can even see her in my favorite dress the one that we would always fight over. "It's winter white, Black!" She'd yell at me with a slight smirk on her lips and I would shrug my shoulders because white is white right ?

As the years went by I realized that white and beige do come in varying degrees and I prefer winter white on russet, golden skin any day to ...I shouldn't think that Bella's my wife, now. I have no right to feel like this for Leah. After all, I was the one that sent her away, I was the one that shattered her heart and mine three years ago. I left Leah first, she just made the separation more permanent.

Flashback 3 years ago

I'm probably an idiot. You know what scratch that I am an idiot for doing what I am about to do to Leah; but Leah just isn't Bella and I have to end it today. I can't lose to a leech I am the Alpha I should be able to have whoever I want whenever I want. I have to try one last time and today is the day. She's marrying him tonight and Leah isn't going anywhere she's mine.

If it fails I can come back to her. If I win I still have her. This is so wrong! I look out the window the sun is dawning the horizon, I turn and I see Leah stirring next to me she opens her eyes smiling at me; but if there's a hell that is exactly where I am going to for treating Leah like this. She's never hurt me she's stood by me through everything and all she ever asked me for was to make this last forever; but love is a drug and right now I need a hit of Bella.

" Black, I am surprised your awake after last night. I'm surprised I am awake before sunset."

Leah's fully awake now and she finally really looks at me. She sits up in the bed and takes in the atmosphere of the room. Faster than humanly possible, she's kneeling on the floor in front of me. "Jacob, what is it? I know today is her wedding, do you want to go? I mean she was your best friend so I understand if you're worried about her. Remember, it's her choice Jake. You know that right, Bella chooses Edward just like you choose me."

Leah is staring at me expectantly, she is waiting for me to agree to look at her and laugh it off. She might even accept me lying to her like I've been for the past two months, but I won't. I can't hurt her anymore.

I move off the bed and slide down on the floor in front of her and like the true bastard I am I put my arms around her. I kiss the scar that is from me marking her and I think about making love to her one last time. One last time, can I do that? Is it wrong?

Before I can finish my internal battle I've let Leah over power me. She's straddling me waiting for me to give her confirmation; waiting for me to say our sacred vow. " Leah, we need to talk. Your right I want to go to Bella's wedding tonight, but I don't want you to go with me. I know I made a lot of promises to you but I have to try one last time. I have to make her see that this is wrong, that I am perfect for her. I can't lose to him Leah. I just can't lose her to him!"

Even though, I wasn't moving I felt like I was out of breath. I was in pain, the most intense pain of my life. I start rubbing my chest, but Leah starts yelling at me right away.

"Jacob Ephraim Black, do not do this to me! I won't stand around and put you back together again when she leaves with him tonight. I am not going to stand by and wait for you anymore. I won't step aside and watch her be with you if she does choose you over him tonight. I can't do it. I'm not going to be here and watch Sam happy, and then look at you happy with another woman. A woman who is not me. I am through with feeling inferior Jacob."

She was now pacing the small space that I call a room. "So, Chief what do you want ? Bella or me choose now, but know if you choose Bella that I am walking out of this house and I am not coming back ."

Leah finally stopped pacing now, and she was gathering up her discarded clothes from the night before. She was waiting for my answer, and I had one. I just knew that in my heart neither one of us wanted to hear it.

I got up from my place on the floor and I crossed the tiny space to get to her. Those few short seconds I spent trying to memorize every single detail about my Leah. My Leah, she belonged to me I knew it in the deepest part of my heart but I want a chance to live my fantasy. I prepared to strike the final blow as I grabbed her hands.

"Remember, when you asked if we could make love out of lust? We tried Leah, we gave it our all but I think we should stop just for a little while. Don't leave Leah, I told you today, tomorrow, forever. I'll always be there for you. I'll always support you Leah. I swear."

I looked at her and I had said our vow but we both know I changed it, I twisted it to suit my needs. I just need for Leah to work with me here, give me a little slack let me be Alpha wolf and have everything I want. Bella, was my new addiction, my fantasy, I had to have her and I wasn't going to lose to my mortal enemy.


Leah is shaking her head no before the words even leave her lips, "Black, that 's not what you said and you know it! You promised only me forever Jacob, does that ring a bell? Not sometimes, not every now and again, not when you feel like it, forever. I am leaving Jake; I don't care if it kills us both. Wolves mate for life, Jacob or have you forgotten that? We are technically married under pack law, did you forget that too?"

Her voice was getting louder by the minute and I was thankful that Billy was over at Sue's place right now . She pushed pass me into the hallway and was making a run for the back door. I took off behind her.

"Leah, Leah wait up where the hell do you think you're going?" I shout at her now that we are in the backyard.

"I am sorry all might alpha but have you forgotten I can't be with anyone else! I am marked now. What are you going to do Alpha order me to stay?"

Her eyes were challenging me but I couldn't do that. So I held my hands up in surrender and watched her perfect body run into the forest. I watched her run away with my heart. The pain in my chest crippled me. I passed out on the grass.

End of Flashback

Here, I am another sleepless night and dawn is approaching again. I haven't seen or talked to Leah since that day. I woke up in the grass and went through with my plan. I went to Bella's wedding reception. I poured out what was left of my heart to her and by some random act of fate she took me. She walked out of her own wedding reception for me. That temporary moment of victory against Edward was enough to dull the pain, and Bella was the cure for Leah for a whole year. But I had fooled myself. Leah wasn't gone from heart, or my mind, or even my dreams. She called to me like a siren's song. I would look at Bella and for a brief moment, her features would morph into Leah. I was loosing my mind.

By the second year I was taking it day by day; and now I can't even keep the past separate from the future. I am always zoning out. Getting flickers of all the mistakes I've made. Forgetting taking it day by day; it's been three years and I am taking it minute by minute. That's how I got married to Bella . I pretended she was Leah, that's how I made love to her too. I'd close my eyes and see Leah's body. I was in my own personal hell and I had no one to blame but myself.

What the hell was Leah doing here. She just waltz back into La Push like she owned the place. She came into my office, said hello, kissed me, and walked away. Three years and that's what you do? Where the hell has she been? Why isn't she in pain like I am? Why won't she talk to me. I look at the clock on the wall, it's six am. I jump up and grab my sneakers. Fuck this. I am done waiting . I can feel and smell Leah all around me, I am answering her siren's call today. I need answers I can't live this half as life with Bella anymore. I want my heart back. I need my heart back. Leah

Leah's POV

Oh, Jacob, I know he's finally coming for me I can feel it. I know he wants answers and I know I am going to cave in and give them to him. I don't think he's going to like it. I mean what man wants to hear that your "so-called" perfect wife is having an affair with your best friend? I shake my head in disgust.

Bella is a plague, a lingering infection that is going to turn this reservation into a bad episode of Maury; but there's nothing I can do about it now. Bella was Jake's dream girl. Ha! That's a load of bullshit. She played him like a "two-dollar" bill and her vampire family helped her do it.

I need to calm down he's almost here. I can hear him coming now. I have to play it cool, I've got to hide the pain. I can't let him know how being away from him has been like living in hell because in actuality. I never really left. I mean physically I left but I always had eyes on him. I always had someone watching him and Bella. I pour another glass of wine and chug it down. He's on the steps. He's right on the other side of the door. "

Bitch up Leah!" I chant that over and over in my head as I cross the space and open the door. Oh my God, he's still everything I ever wanted and so much more. We stare at each other I move aside and let him in.

Jake, closes the door and stalks over to me like a predator but I extend my arms out to keep him from touching me.

"I know you want answers, Black. I am sorry but what I tell you is not going to be nice."

He's looking at me and all of a sudden he overpowers me. I'm pinned up against the wall. He's growling at me as he inhales my scent.

"Tell me later, Leah, because all I want to do right now is make you scream!"

Was that an order? I don't know and I don't care. I can finally breathe again. My heart is on fire, I am hanging high in the clouds. All the bullshit can wait. Right now, I have my man back. Right now, I am Leah again. Right now, I am his. Right now, our son is sleeping at my mother's house. Jacob and I our one fucked up pair!

EN: Do you hate me? *evil laugh* I couldn't make it that easy, I might want to pick this up again when the contest is over LOL. Please review and don't stone me :-