"It doesn't have to be this way Sherlock."
Sherlock scoffs and motions to the door. "John please leave."
"And what if I don't?"
Sherlock looks directly into the ex-soldier's blue eyes. "John, you love her. I know right now it seems as if she is the enemy but trust me when I say this. Mary shot me to save my life. I would never tell you to go back to someone who put me at risk."
John looks at him with a doubtful expression. "I just don't know Sherlock..."
Sherlock rolls his eyes "Oh John please, had I ever not spoken up when any of your girlfriends were clearly bad news?"
John shakes his head but doesn't speak.
"Exactly. Mary must be a keeper if I'm sitting here on my death bed telling you to stay with her." Sherlock coughs in pain.
John frowns at the cough and goess to grip his hand, to which Sherlock moves away. " Please John, just go and see your wife."
John shakes his head. He doesn't want to go. "No."
Sherlock groans in frustration,closing his eyes. "Oh for gods sake John. Do not make me call security."
John frowns deeply and looks into Sherlock eyes, clearly upset and hurt at his words and just as quick as the look appeared on his face, it was gone. He gets up and despite Sherlock not wanting any attention, John hugs him quickly and mutters " I'm glad your okay Sherlock."
Sherlock swallows roughly as John leaves, letting a huge sigh escape his lips once he's gone. Sherlock had never had as much trouble saying something as he did just then. He tells himself that the pain and heartache he is currently feeling is for the best. For his John to be happy. That's all he ever wanted.
Mary sighs. "John, you can't just give up on him."
John turns and looks at his soon to be ex-wife and looks at her frustrated. "I'm not giving up on him! "
Mary pats the seat beside her, motioning for John to sit down. She waits until he sits down before speaking. "Your not fighting for him. You should be sitting in the hospital with him then with your ex-wife."
" and the mother of my baby."
she rolls her eyes. "You and I both know that doesn't change anything."
"How can you be so okay with this? I mean. You were my wife. We had a life together before he came back."
She smiles sadly. "John I always knew you loved him. I was willing to over look it. But then he came back and I knew that moment I was only borrowing you for a time then you were going back to him."
John sighs defeated. "Doesn't seem that way anymore Mary. He wants me and you to stay together."
"Only because he doesn't know you want him. He doesn't know we aren't together anymore. You need to tell him."
John bites his lip and tries not to cry. Mary notices this and wraps her arm around his shoulder and pulls him into a tight hug. "It's going to be okay."
"God. I hope so. I just want him back." He chokes up.
"I know so. You love each other too much to not make it through this together." Mary silently vows to make sure Sherlock and John fix things. They deserve each other and no matter what it takes Mary is not going to let things slide this time.
Sherlock sits on the bathroom floor of 221B Baker Street, thinking about his life with John. Going over every part of the days they spent together. The cases, the meals, the company. He looks down at the folded piece of paper in his hand. Biting his lip ,he wonders how John is going to react to what is on that piece of paper. Would he cringe and throw it away? or would he actually care and cry about it? Sherlock shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. It doesn't matter what John does because it will be too late. He cannot continue his life this way. He loves John Hamish Watson with every single cell of his being and he knows that John cares about him on a level that is past friendship but John is married, expecting a baby. Sherlock refuses to be home wrecker. He isn't worth John's love. He isn't worth anything any more.
He takes a breath and picks up the razor and starts to dig into his wrists vertically. He runs the razor down the length of his forearm repeatedly,Only slightly wincing at the pain. Sherlock digs deep into his skin then switches to the other arm and repeats the motion. He looks down at the blood loss and sighs, feeling strangely content with the realization that this is it. He just needs to make one more cut and this will be the end of the suffering for them all. He looks at the razor and takes a shaky breath before engraving the initials J.W. on his wrist. Sherlock starts to sob, He loves John so much and he knows at first this is going to hurt John extremely. He wishes John didn't have to feel pain because of him but in the long run it will be worth it.
He whispers to the empty flat "I'm sorry John, "
Sherlock drops the razor onto the tub's edge. Leaning his head against the side of the tub, he places the folded letter on his chest ,over his heart, and closes his eyes.
Mary knocks on the door to 221B and notices it isn't shut. It softly opens and she doesn't like how quiet it is, nor the feeling of something wrong. She goes through the rooms and gasps in shock seeing Sherlock unconscious on the floor. "Oh God Sherlock!" She runs to his side and dials 999.
Mary shakes him until he starts to wake up. "Sherlock! Don't you dare die on me!"
Sherlock groans "Mary.."
"Your going to be alright. An ambulance is on their way. " She quickly gets an idea after hanging up with the operator. She dials John and tells him he needs to tell Sherlock how he feels, because he tried to kill puts the phone up to Sherlock's ear.
"God Sherlock. You need to pull through this. I love you, you idiot. Don't you dare die on me. Not again."
"John.. I'm sorry. Its better this way."
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT. I will not allow it. I need you Sherlock. We're supposed to grow old together. Raise a family. Be happy."
"Oh John.. That's why you have Mary."
"No. That's why I have you. I left her. Sherlock I meant what I said. Things don't have to be this way. I love you so fucking much. and I swear to you if you die on me I WILL FOLLOW YOU."
Sherlock sighs shakily. Never did he expect John loved him. "I'm so sorry John."
"Don't. Fight for me Sherlock. Just fight. Don't let yourself die on me. I love you so much." John cries
Sherlock swallows as tears stream down his face. "I love you more then anything John Watson."
"Promise me Sherlock."
"John,,-"
"NO. Just promise me okay?"
Sherlock nods weakly. "I promise you. I'll fight for you John."
Mary lets a tear slide down her face and silently prays Sherlock makes it through this. She could hear the words John was saying and she knows that he was being honest. John would follow him into death immediately. There was no one or thing that could keep these to apart any longer.