The moment that Anna stood before the long mirror pinned to the guest chamber's wall, she knew she was in trouble. Because the small, inconspicuous, and secretly beautiful bump she had begun to sport enlarged.
She was supposed to tell Elsa over a week ago but she just wasn't sure how. And now it became increasingly harder to hide with the side effects. Like Anna almost vomiting at the sight of her favorite desert- anything chocolate. Or being in non-negotiable foul moods which was in part so ridiculously different from, well, her ridiculous self.
Only one other person besides Kristoff knew. Gerda had found out when a few days ago, she had done everything to get Anna's tight fitted bodice on her which was weirdly, in fact, too tight.
Gerda's eyes became shiny with recognition and tears that could be only described as joyful. Anna could only imagine how it felt to raise a child to be a mother herself.
"You can't tell anyone," Anna pleaded. "Not yet."
Gerda had taken Anna's hands in her own robust ones. One stray tear fell along a flush cheek. "Of course, sweetling."
Then there proceeded to be more crying and embraces and crazy giggles. After that, Gerda had always fussed over her every whim.
But she couldn't help Anna on this. This was something she and Kristoff had to do on their own.
If he were here anyways.
Anna cursed under her breath, one of the few times she did. The others being with Kristoff in special...predicaments...
Kristoff had left to go on "strict business" he so called it. Apparently it was confidential but he'd relented when Anna persuaded him. But of course he had to leave the previous day leaving Anna to her own devices. She hadn't realized what he purposely did until he'd been log gone. And it wasn't like Anna had obsessed over his every whereabouts but she really could have used his help on this one.
Anna felt the rising frustration as her eyes began to water. No she silently chanted to herself. Among the sickness and the uncertainties of being pregnant, she loathed being pregnant. The side effects, not actually carrying her own child.
That she loved.
She loathed the hormones that made her weirder than she already was. She had already embarrassed herself in front of Elsa when a stubbed toe resulted in body racking sobs.
Anna sighed, resting a soft palm atop her abdomen and bit her lip. She should have been more careful- they should have been more careful and they knew it. But to be truthful, they hadn't really been faithful to any contraceptive tactics and now they paid for it dearly.
She was probably the first princess in the history of Arendelle to become pregnant out of wedlock. And she knew Elsa would be so ashamed of her. Already, Anna was classified as the awkward one, the weird one; pegged as an aberrant in the social monastery of dignitaries and high hoity-toity officials. She was far less than that of her sister status wise and her fear wasn't that the baby would disappoint further rulers but her elder sister.
Anna began to get sick a while back and she'd dismissed it, blamed it on the brussel sprouts she detested to eat. But after a week with no improvements even without the food, she went to see the apothecary in secret, fearing the worst. When in fact, to her sheer disbelief, she was expecting.
That evening she'd made it to her room, sat down and blanked out. Then proceeded to vomit again, of course, When Kristoff confronted her about her forlorn looks, she'd told him in broken sobs that would usually rattle her petite frame if not for her lover's arms there to hold her sturdy.
It was a bittersweet feeling. The happiness came and then was fleeting as they took in the entirety of what it meant to get a princess pregnant, even of her own accord, without marrying her.
And then Kristoff freaked out because he thought of what Elsa could freeze of his and-
There was a knock at the doors.
Anna grabbed a shawl in a nippy and wrapped it around her waist to hide her stomach even after concluding there was no use in doing so because it was barely there and her dress was loose.
"Just a minute," she sing-sung as she quickly to the water basin to splash at her tear dried face before dashing towards the doors.
Anna pulled open the double doors to find Elsa in all her squalor and regality, poised with a gentle smile on her features.
Anna had yet gotten used to the fact that her elder sister wanted to spend time with her voluntarily.
"Good Morning," Elsa said quietly.
"Hi!" Anna squawked before mentally kicking herself because she sounded suspicious. "I mean...good morning."
Elsa chucked lightly before gesturing at her shawl tied around her waist. "That's a very interesting new look."
Anna laughed much too loudly for her liking. "Yeah! It's um...just the latest fashion in Arendelle." She struck a pose. "It's what all the ladies are wearing nowadays."
Elsa laughed, crossing her arms. "Alright, I'll just have to take your word for it."
Anna silently willed Elsa away for the first time in her life since she could remember but her close proximity was making her especially nervous. She needed an alibi for her baby news fast. And until then, she really wanted Elsa to go somewhere.
"Um," Anna started. "Do you...need something?"
Elsa blinked. "Well, you weren't at breakfast. Are you alright?"
Anna leaned into one of the open doors far harder than intended and in a whoosh, fell onto her backside, failingly reaching into the air for the hope of leverage.
"Ow..." she whined, rubbing her side. "Never better."
Elsa daintily laughed, one hand over her mouth and another held out to pull her sister to her feet.
"Well it's a beautiful day," Elsa gestured at the large windows with the curtains drawn back - another feat Anna had yet to get used to but nonetheless loved. "I was wondering if you'd like to take a stroll with me outside."
Anna's heart swelled and she smiled toothily at her sister who despite official royal duties and what not she was required to tend to, took the time to spend time with her.
And then she wanted to scoff because her idea of fun was so much different from Elsa's and what Anna called a stroll consisted of collecting flowers and plaiting them into braids and climbing trees- resulting in scabby knees- and suspending from them like bats. But she'd have to tell Elsa this later because she suddenly remembered what she had to make known.
"That sounds really really fun and all," Anna began twisted her hands. "But...I have something to tell you, Elsa."
All traces of amusement vanished as Anna for the first time, eyed her sister in all seriousness. And Elsa, worried, folded her hands into herself with her icy palms resting beneath her sharp elbows.
Suddenly, she was very cold.
The last news she had gotten was from Hans that her sister had died in the storm she had created. And prior to that, was the news that Arendelle was deep in snowy depths. So needless to say, Elsa was very hesitant at that particular moment.
"Okay," Elsa said uncertainly.
Anna straightened up, gathered her courage because she'd been through an icy disaster, chased by a snow monstrosity, held the blade of a knife to her frozen palm, and had stared at the face of death itself, and by golly, she could tell her sister that she was pregnant.
Anna stood there, her mouth opening and closing like a fish on land.
"My hair," Anna blurted out.
Okay...maybe she couldn't.
Elsa's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Your hair...?"
"My hair!" Anna confirmed, searching for more elaborate details, racking her topsy-turvy brain.
"I'm sorry...I'm not understanding, Anna," Elsa said confused.
"I...it's um..." Anna stuttered and shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "I was trying to do something new, you know, other than these two braids," she clarified taking one flimsy braid. "And I just remembered the braid mom used to do for me sometimes..." she trailed off.
It wasn't entirely a lie. She had thought about her parents frequently, especially now that she'd almost become one. Especially her mother.
Anna felt an icy hand on her shoulder. She looked up to find Elsa with a sad smile on her face.
"I understand," she whispered.
And then with a more jovial attitude, - or as jovial as Elsa could get, she said "now, come. I'll do it for you."
As Elsa took her hand and lead her through the halls Anna breathed a sign of relief and thanked the heavens for an excuse to buy herself some time to tell Elsa the news.
Through the halls, the maids and servants whispered and spoke in such hushed tones, Anna had to strain her ears to hear, even then, nothing. It was so bizarre, so different from their usual selves, Anna was puzzled.
"What's going on, Elsa?" Anna whispered behind a covered hand.
Elsa didn't bat an eye. "Oh, well you remember Maryn?"
Of course she did. She was Lord Ingval's third daughter and secretly his favorite in Arendelle's sister kingdom, overseas. A sweet one, really.
Anna voiced these thoughts to her sister and Elsa sighed. "Yes, well apparently she'd left the palace, fled away months ago with a village boy. Only to come back with an infant."
Anna didn't like where this was going.
She pretended to be shocked anyways. "What?!" she screeched. "No!"
"Yes," Elsa replied. "They weren't even married.
Anna scratched behind her ear, nervously. "You don't say..."
Elsa nodded, once, curtly. "Oh, I say." She continued. "Her father was outraged, livid with her."
Anna was growing increasingly uncomfortable. She pulled at the collar of her dress. "What...what did he do?"
Elsa scoffed. "What didn't he do? He cut her off from the throne, banished her and her lover and their baby out of the kingdom."
"He was cold towards her?"
Elsa, with a flick of her wrist, conjured up a series of ice chips and let them drop onto the floorboards with a hiss and a crack.
"As ice."
"Angry?" Anna questioned.
"Boiling."
Anna forced a smile. "Oh come on now, can't they just let bygones be bygones and just...make up? It was his daughter after all..."
"Yes, but it was a scandal, a very bad one, Anna. She must know her place," Elsa responded. "Before doing something so selfish and foolish like that."
Anna gulped, beads of sweat formed on her forehead and under her neck.
Elsa noticed and laid a hand atop her flushed skin. "Are you alright? You look a little flushed."
Anna jumped. "Fine! Fine...I'm just dandy."
Elsa furrowed her eyebrows but they continued to walk. They steadily approached Anna's bed chambers and Anna was appreciative of the fact that they were going to her- or her and Kristoff's room rather than Elsa's. It was always just so cold in there.
Even with fireplace, despite it being the middle of summer. And yeah, Anna knew that her sister practically had ice in her veins, but that didn't make up for the fact for Anna having to wear her Parka just in that room.
It also housed on a lone wall the painting of their parents which she wasn't quite sure she could handle just yet.
Once Inside the room, Anna plopped herself down onto a pillow on the carpeted floor and Elsa seated herself atop her sister's bed, but not before grabbing a brush sitting on the vanity.
"Couldn't you just make one out of ice?" Anna pondered aloud, trying to say something- anything that would distract her from her wild thoughts.
"Would you rather your hair be tamed by ice irritating your scalp?" Elsa replied evenly.
She didn't need to see Anna's gulp to know the answer.
"Especially with your hair," she hummed, recalling once long ago when they were small and close, Elsa pulling a tiny lock of Anna's hair resulting in a large fit, unruly punishment, and the silent treatment from both of them which only lasted till supper.
Elsa carefully in braided the two braids, placing the bands keeping them in place off to one side.
The hair pooled, cascading downtrodden, spilling onto and over her shoulders up to her mid back.
"It's grown," Elsa noticed casually as she combed her spindly fingers through Anna's auburn tresses.
Anna panicked for a moment, spinning around to face her sister. "Grown? What's grown?" She sputtered. Elsa couldn't have possibly seen her bump. It's impossible but then again so was a talking snowman who preferred heat and sunlight to the snow from which he was formed.
Impossible didn't really hold any truths here in Arendelle.
Elsa gently turned Anna back around again and picked up the brush to run through her long hair. "Your hair..."
Anna exhaled. "Oh...right, right. My hair..." She attempted to laugh it off.
"Yes, your hair," Elsa confirmed but not before deeming something wrong with her sister's exceptionally weird behavior.
"Anna..." Elsa said after a moment. "I can't help but notice you seem a little jumpy."
Anna scrambled for an answer. "Oh, well that's because I just did jumping jacks!"
It sounded foolish even to Anna. And that said something.
"Jumping jacks," Elsa deadpanned.
"Yes! Jumping Jacks!" Anna confirmed. "They...uh...stimulate blood flow to the brain. That's why my hair is so long...?" Intonation crept up into her voice and if Elsa had an indication, she oversaw it.
"Well, anyways, it's rather beautiful," she hummed and Anna felt her nimble fingers separate her strands.
"Well," Anna interjected. "So is yours! So...supple."
Elsa raised an amused eyebrow behind Anna. "Supple?"
"Yeah, supple. Hair can be supple," she went on. "And so white!"
"Anna," humor was in her voice. "My hair is not white."
Anna flicked her hand. "Well of course it is! It totally goes with the whole winter theme you've got going on here." She yawned. The ministrations did wonders to her scalp and it felt so impossibly good. And after numerous sleepless nights spent vomiting and in cold sweats, the rest she desperately craved for was well welcomed.
"It's most definitely blond, Anna, not white," Elsa calmly explained, well aware of her sister's sleepy state. "I'm almost finished. Stay awake just a moment longer- I need you to hold your head up."
Her voice did little but act as a lullaby.
Anna obeyed, nonetheless, well, to the best of her ability. "Oh whatever." The hair color discrepancies and baby worries momentarily forgotten as she slowly nodded off, swaying her head softly to the side...
"Ah!"
Then a sharp cold blast to her neck jolted her fully awake.
Elsa smiled remorsefully. "Sorry. But I did tell you to say awake."
Anna pouted in response, she'd get her back later. That was a promise.
Attempting to stay awake, Anna thought loosely about what the future held.
About one day, how Anna's daughter and Elsa's daughter would laugh and talk with one another and plait petunias into each other's auburn and not-white-but-blond hair and have thought provoking ideas that shouldn't always be mentioned aloud and when one was out of line, Elsa would jab them with a cold and icy front and Anna would teach them to never close doors and they would never ever share carrots with Sven like how Kristoff did because that was really really gross and-
"There," Elsa said, breaking Anna out of her thoughts. "All finished."
Elsa rose and brought Anna to her feet once more and they both walked up to the long mirror Anna was only gazing at herself in moments ago.
Anna gasped.
And not the royal-gentry-ladylike gasps, too, that required white gloves and folded napkins and yellow parasols. No. She inhaled a stealthy amount of air into her lungs sounding like a blow horn.
The braid, from what she could remember was a tricky thing to master but the most intricate, beautiful thing she'd ever worn, especially now after all this time.
Elsa had even plaited it with a green ribbon.
"You look beautiful," Elsa breathed. "Just like mom."
Well that did it.
Anna began to cry. First with silent beads if tears transpiring from her closed eyelids, cascading down her pale cheeks, then she hiccupped and it all when downhill from there. Anna collapsed into a sobbing heap into the floor. And damn Kristoff and damn these hormones and oh god she really loved this baby.
Elsa slid down in front of her, bringing her into her cool embrace. "Oh, Anna," she began. "I didn't mean to upset you, I only meant-"
"No," Anna cried into her sister's chest. "I know what you meant. I-I look beautiful. T-thank you. But it's not t-that."
Elsa didn't prod her but only smoothed down her braid.
This was it. Now or never.
Anna pulled back from the spot in her sister's chest she'd recently acquired, gratefully taking the handkerchief Elsa offered and loudly blowing into it.
"Elsa," she started out slow, refusing to meet her eyes. "I'm pregnant."
A pause.
"Anna-"
"Now I know, I know you're angry with me! The baby's a surprise to all of us as well! I'm so sorry Elsa, I should have told you sooner but I was scared. Really scared. Mostly for Kristoff because you can freeze practically anything including specific man parts of him that I really don't want you to freeze."
"Anna-"
"And I know you're disappointed in me and I know you feel betrayed because I'm a princess and I'm supposed to be proper even when I'm not and I definitely wasn't in this case and it's so soon and so unexpected and so quick and I already feel awful about it; half-emotions, half-pregnant-side-effects."
"Anna..."
"And please please don't banish me and Kristoff because we'll have no place to live except with the trolls and as much as I love them, they're rocks and I kind of like the hot towels we get at this palace."
Anna's lip quivered again as tears fell from her eyes. "And I know I'm not the most qualified person to be a mother but I love this baby with all my heart and you should know how much that is because my heart is still pretty fragile and I'm not willing to give it to just anyone. But I love this baby Elsa I do and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't know how..." She couldn't finish, turning her head away and holding her mouth into her palm to somehow to lessen the repercussions that followed her confession.
"Anna," Elsa breathed, laying a gentle hand to her back. "I know."
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Elsa, I...what...wait what?" Anna questioned, breaking her sobs. She faced her sister.
Anna had expected Elsa to be angry. Red with lividity and ready to freeze anything she'd be encountered with...not this reaction. Not this gentle, understanding, totally-not-berating look upon her face.
"How..." Anna trailed off then frowned through her tears. "Gerda?"
Elsa reached a hand out to wipe away her sister's tears. "Gerda," she affirmed. "That woman can't keep a secret for the life of her." She meant as a joke but Anna still looked disconcerted.
"Congratulations," she hugged Anna, still not over the shock of it all. "You will make the best mother."
She shook her head, confused. "I don't understand..." Her voice cracked. "I don't understand. Why aren't you mad at me?"
"I could never be mad at you," Elsa responded firmly. "For starting a family for you are well deserved? Never."
"But we aren't married-" Anna said.
"Never mind that. Yes you could have waited longer, but I'd had my suspicions you'd be carrying sooner." Elsa stated, her pale skin supplanting with pallor.
Anna sniffed. "How?"
Elsa laughed nervously. "Let's just say...these walls aren't as thick as they may seem."
Anna's pale face was covered in red almost instantly as she understood what her sister was telling her but embarrassment was quickly replaced with dread.
"But how can you be so calm about this all?" Anna wondered.
Elsa smiled. "Anna, Gerda wasn't the only one who came to me."
Kristoff.
"Don't be angry at him for telling me, Anna," Elsa was quick to say. The look on Anna's face was probably feral. "He was scared."
Anna scowled. "Yeah, of you."
There was hurt registered of Elsa's face. The idea that she was someone to be feared because of her powers than that of her status wasn't something she could help, even after all this time. And it wasn't something to be proud of. But Anna was scared and sad and Elsa had caused more hurt than anything ever had or would so she overlooked it.
Elsa sighed. "Yes. He might've been. But more of my reaction towards you."
Anna didn't need to have this explained because she'd vented to him in particular about this topic many a times. Usually after prestigious social events that made Anna stick out like a sore and awkward thumb.
Anna sniffed. "I feel like you should be ashamed of me."
The ground beneath where Elsa's hand laid turned to frost as she took in the meaning of her words.
"Ashamed of you?" Elsa whispered.
Anna nodded dejectedly. "I'm not like you Elsa, not really. Not poised and polished and perfect. I'm awkward and clumsy and so...not perfect."
Her breath was noticeable in the increasingly cold room, as the ice spread, steadily covering the floor and climbing up to the walls.
"I can never live up to your expectations. Not ever. And the baby...just added to the list of mistakes I've made. I didn't want to tell you because I've tried so hard...I don't want you to-"
"Shut you out again," Elsa finished.
She didn't need Anna to agree because the silence affirmed enough.
The ice crept over the walls and coated the ceiling; icicles sprouted at the seams and frost clouded the windows.
The entire room was frozen.
There was a deafening silence. A tension so thick, a pin drop could be heard in its midst.
Ashamed ashamed ashamed: it was a mantra obstructing Elsa's mind.
The realization Anna's confession drew was painful, more so than anything, any truth she'd ever encountered before. How could Elsa find the words to say that she was so much more to her?
For moment in that icy room, Elsa had lost her regal demeanor and she wasn't just the Queen, but an elder sister before her younger one.
"You," she began. "Have no idea how perfect you are to me."
Anna started but Elsa refuted her dispirited claims. "You have always been perfect because you were Anna and there was never anything shameful about that."
The room continued to freeze as she struggled to control the storm inside of her.
"I shut you out, because I wanted to protect you from me. Which was the biggest mistake I had ever made because me trying not to hurt you did in ways I can't even fathom."
Anna listened attentively now, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Elsa's thin lip quivered, tears fell down along her cheek bones as she tried and failed to gain her composure.
"Anna. There is nothing you could ever do to make me ashamed of you. You absolutely exceed my expectations. Absolutely. So don't ever think for a second that your sister doesn't want you because I do. I love you," Elsa cried.
Anna had never seen Elsa so disheveled and regular. Except for maybe that time where she'd spared her life from Hans but that didn't entirely count on account for the fact that she was kind of encased in ice. But she was all kinds of reassured when Elsa said that.
"I love you, too, Elsa," she croaked. And they enveloped each other in an embrace- or a hug because 'embrace' sounded entirely too formal.
The ice thawed rather quickly, revealing the walls and floorboards in their former glory.
"Look at you," Elsa said as they pulled apart, tearful in the best way. "all grown up."
Anna laughed, flushed and happy. "I can't believe this. I'm having a baby Elsa, a real live baby!" She sprawled onto the carpet on her back before springing back up with wide eyes.
"I'm having a real live baby..." She demurred slowly and breathily. For the first time since the baby madness, Anna took in the realization of what it meant to have a baby; the plethora of cloth diapers, warm bottles, a soft blanket...and oh god the poop...
"You'll have help, Anna," Elsa reassured her based on her uncertain expression.
Elsa gathered Anna's hands in her own. "You have Gerda and Kai and Olaf. Even Sven can do something. And you have me." Elsa finished with a smile to which Anna returned. "And we cannot forget-"
A deep throaty grunt interrupted Elsa as only a wisp of brown fur was seen before the animal galloped into the room and attack the sisters with appreciated licks of affection.
Anna and Elsa laughed through their futile attempts to shove him good-naturedly away .
Kristoff came in after Sven, in the hopes of getting him out quickly, but he didn't realize his lover and her sister were in the room and were the reason for the frontal attack from Sven. And spotting their dried tears and the still thawing room, it dawned on him that Anna had told Elsa the big news. And he really didn't need to face the repercussions that would definitely follow.
Kristoff, with wide eyes, attempted to pass the room but the squeaky floor boards betrayed his presence.
"And just where do you think you're going?" Anna stood from Sven and crossed her arms accusingly.
Kristoff cursed under his breath and spun around to face her. His hands waved around crazily in search of an appropriate gesture to convey his apology. "Anna, sweetheart."
In a dash, not unlike the trek that Sven had taken, and crushed her lips against his.
Behind them, Elsa covered Sven's eyes.
Kristoff, lips still on Anna's, wrapped his thick arms around her small frame and deepened the kiss. And when they came apart, Anna brushed away a strand of hair from his forehead; a broad smile on her features.
"Apology accepted."
XXXX
Brynnivver Bjorman was born in the late spring. All blonde fuzz and rosy cheeks and Elsa couldn't be more grateful that she not only felt the warmth on her skin but the love in her tiny heart.