Can We Be In Love?
I've never seen her this nervous…It was strange enough to almost make me want to shake her senseless. Keyword here being almost. But here she is scrambling around her studio apartment for something to wear for dinner tonight. It isn't anything special honestly. Okay I'm lying it is but I failed to mention any of that when I asked her to dinner last week during our shift. It was a busy graveyard shift on a Friday night. The local drunks and occasional college kid hung out at the dinner until the unfortunate hours of the morning. Somehow that morning felt different. I think I had some sort of epiphany. I can't quite describe it to be honest. My last customer had paid for the night and stupidly over tipped. Though I didn't bother to explain to the poor drunken, wealthy bastard he gave me too much. It's more money in my pocket. Plus I'd been saving to take Dani to this incredibly beautiful and romantic café near her apartment for months. She would always tell me how she'd wanted to eat there but could never afford it. So I've been saving most of my tips here and there in an envelope underneath last season's vogue to take her to that restaurant for our anniversary. Anniversary, huh. Can't say I never thought I would have gotten this far with her. That sounds fucking terrible doesn't it? But things with Dani, they are far beyond anything better then I could possibly imagine. She's incredible. To quote her directly, she's a Sapphic goddess. I know, it's cheesy but I'm being honest and open for once. Dani is perfect. She is so overwhelmingly amazing at everything I sometimes wonder if this is some candy-coated illusion I've thrown myself into. How did I get lucky enough to fall in love again in New York? And that brings me back to the present. Dani and I have been dating six solid, fantastic months to the date. It's a few months shorter then my relationship with Britt. Though, it's long enough after recovering from that heartache and being able to put myself back out in the dating pool. I had been thinking about this all the while mustering up to courage to ask her to dinner. You'd think after six months my nerves would calm down but no, tonight I wanted to tell her I love her. Tonight would change everything and I'm fucking scared shitless. So there I was wiping down the table when I happened to glance up. She was talking with Kurt behind the bar about band gigs and looked over his shoulder at me. She smiled brightly and then winked. Damn, somebody pinch me. That must have be it, that moment I realized it. The second our eyes met, my chest erupted in heat and my brain lost for words. Santana 'cold-hearted' Lopez fell in love. Well shit. Once Kurt finished rambling on about some gig in Jersey, I approached her with a swing in my step and a kiss to her cheek….
"So are you free Friday?" She gave me look that questioned my sanity for a moment. "Yes babe. Why do you ask?" I began to play with my hands on the counter. Shit, why am I nervous again? Oh right, I just realized that was madly in love with this girl. "Oh, I-just um, mother fucker." Her eyes were shining at me and her smirk was borderline teasing at my shyness. "Tana, are you okay?" I give her a glare to which she holds her hands up in defeat, "Sorry babe, you just look so cute." I point a finger at her, my frown faltering into a smile, "It's not funny." She playfully disagrees with me, "I never said it was babe." I exhale a steady breath reaching out to pause her fingers twisting a ketchup bottle cap into place, "Have dinner with me Friday." Then it happened, her eyes glazed over slightly then looked away from me. I pretended not to notice the flash of fear behind them when I spoke. Maybe she was terrified I was going to ask her something else? Whatever it was I ignored the small bundle of doubt settling in the back of my mind. She then faked a smile at me, "Sure babe. I'd love to." Part of me became concerned that this dinner wasn't a good idea. What if she didn't love me back? What if I'm wrong?
Thankfully the rest of the weekend and this week had been normal. She didn't act any stranger then herself and when Friday rolled around, she seemed overjoyed we didn't have work that night. So I couldn't have been wrong. No, this is right, it's fine. Actually her scrambling around her apartment as I sit here and let my eyes chase her from one room to the next it nerve-wrecking anyway. I called her to tell her I would be coming by early and we would walk to the restaurant together. It's only just now eight and our reservations are at nine thirty so we have some time to kill but "Babe?" I turn my head to face her voice but her head is halfway peered around her bathroom door, "Where are we going?" I smile at her with a quirk in my brow. "If I tell you I'd have to kill you." I can hear her feet stomp in protest, "Tana, seriously?" I shake my head at her imitation tantrum, rolling my eyes, "Seriously, now hurry your fine ass up or we're going to be late." She groans loudly, closing the door with a bit of force. So she's kind of pissed but it will be worth it. She finally exits the bathroom walking around the couch to stand in front of me. Goddamn… "So?" Fuck those reservations. Can we just stay here? I eye her body from her shoes to her forehead, starting with the red and black pumps that accentuate her curvy legs and thighs, partially covered by a black leather mini skirt to those delicious hips. The outfit is cinched at the waist completed by a belt buckled together with a swallow and her Alice Cooper tank tucked underneath. I can spot a black lace bra in the side of the ripped up band tee. My mouth begins to salivate. Dani is a rocker at heart, which doesn't bother me one bit if she continues to wear those heels with that skirt all the time. Her makeup is flawless, always in love with the black eyeliner and her now, blue hair is pulled back to one side. The 80s style is coming back with a vengeance but it looks fantastic on her. I tune back into the moment where she's smirking at me, "Tana?" I bite my lip standing up, pulling her body into mine by the buckle, "We should just stay here." She smacks my shoulder with a glare, "Um, no. I just spent two hours putting this together while you waited patiently on the couch. We're going." I frown at her but she grins, "Later, let's go. I'm starving." Pouting at her decision to actually leave, I stomp behind her out of the cozy abode and into the easy spring weather. Once at the steps, she takes my hand in hers, "Lead the way babe." Okay, time to put your game face on, San. I initiate for us to walk down the block and around the corner of her street. We fall into step and light conversation. Just before the restaurant comes into view I halt her steps, "What?" I smile at her confusion, "Close your eyes babe." Dani quirks her left eyebrow at me. Was I really going to make her walk blindly around the corner to the restaurant, oh yes I was. "All this for what? For me to trip and fall on my ass." I chuckle at her remark, "No. And please don't I adore your ass and it would make me terrible sad if you fell." She scoffs, "Well take a last look at it now because at this rate, I won't let you near it for the rest of the night." I narrow my eyes at her, pretending it doesn't bother me. It does. "Please, it's worth it. I promise." She huffs her annoyance and then closes her eyes. I take both hands in mine, walking backwards with her in front to the place where the rest of the night will determine our future. A few passerbys give us weird looks but I flip them off. I stop our movements raising both of her hands to gently kiss her knuckles. "Open." She opens her eyes and the gasps. Damn, I'm good. Way to bring out the charm Lopez! My dad would be proud. He is actually. "Tana, you didn't." I nod with a grin, I did. "I did." She embraces me into her body suddenly attaching her lips to mine. Every time we kiss the sparks just fly and I remind myself about why I'm doing this tonight of nights. I detach myself from her, second-guessing about whether we should just go back to her apartment where I can show her how much I love her but this is special, it means something. "Happy six months babe."
Everything went smoothly, the dinner was outstanding. Who knew a small 'hole in the wall' restaurant in New York had mac and cheese? We splurged a bit on the wine, but anything for my girl. This is special. We spent most of the night talking about the band, laughing at some of the diner mishaps from the week and then sharing the most delicious cheesecake I have ever tasted. Seriously, it was fucking remarkable. We left the restaurant content and buzzed from the wine. My only fault of the night was not telling her at dinner. I wanted to, almost did twice but it just didn't feel quite right yet. The walk back to her building was easy and quiet. The streets seemed empty but a few straggling taxis. Maybe it isn't the right time? Damn it, I wanted to tell her. I designed this entire night around it. I guess it will have to wait. As the front steps come into her building, I stop my footfalls causing Dani to walk forward only to be tugged back by me. She spins to face me, her questioning expression causing me to falter half a second, "Babe?" I let out a shaky breath through my nose, squinting at her. God these nerves are going to be the death of me one day. "Can I ask you something?" She's curious as to why I'm being so off. She's given me this look a few more times through most of the night. She knows something is up. She smiles anyway, tilting her to the side. Her arms encircle my thin waist as I brush a stray strand of blue hair behind her ear. "Anything. Tonight was amazing, there's nothing more you could do to make it more perfect. Thank you." I stare into those dark amber orbs of hers; my heart swells three times its size. Damn girl, what have you done to me? "Can we be in love?" Oh what the hell, Santana? Where did that cheesy shit come from? You're an idiot. "What?" I'm too busy trying to recover my outburst to notice how her eyes are shining, glistening with unshed tears. "Can we be in love? God, that sounds stupid as hell. I'm sorry it just happened to come out. Fuck, I didn't plan for it to happen like this. Ugh, okay-," I smack my palm to my face for the literally definition of a proverbial face palm. I'm gonna look back at this and laugh, it's fine no worries. I'm still a retard though. "Ask me again?" What? I finally meet her gaze. What I can see her expression is serious and without a doubt undying, reciprocated love, but I'm still dumbfounded, "What?" She smiles widely, that heat in my chest is coming back, "Tana, ask me again." I really hope she's not being serious now. I refuse to repeat that cheesy sentence ever again. "Okay?" I'm unsure whether I should just say those three little words now or not, "Just do it." She rolls her eyes, that smile I adore just a bit wider. In return I giver the cheesiest grin, "Can we be in love?" She's locked in our staring contest, her voice now direct but shy laced with surety and love.
"I thought we already were."