~From the desk of BD~

I was recently inspired by quite a lot of stories I read bashing the whole Mary-Sue element. So, I decided to jump on the band wagon with my first one-shot parody in over a year.

Merry Christmas, guys!

Enjoy!

Beautiful, smart, lovely, brave, independent, mysterious…

These were only some of the many words that described the radiant Madeline Hart, the fancy of many men in her hometown of London, England. Miss Hart had luscious dark brown hair that fell to her waist with a waterfall of curls. Her deep forest green eyes could lure any man into her web. Her figure was the envy of every girl who even glanced in her direction.

She was every fan fiction writer's dream character from her looks to her personality. Madeline was absolutely perfect! And she had been created for the one purpose and one purpose only…to win the heart of the handsome and dashing William Turner. Because as everyone knows, the ultimate character deserves to be on the arm of the most wonderful man ever created.

So, Miss Madeline Hart began to walk the dirty streets of Port Royal looking for her soul mate. She gritted her teeth together thinking about the mud that was probably staining the hem of her light blue ruffled dress. Finally, she heard the sound of clanking metal coming from the blacksmith shop.

Madeline knocked on the door lightly before she opened the large brown doors. There was Will Turner, absorbed in his work, like always. His dark, almost black hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. His muscular arm came up and down as he banged the hammer against the warm metal, shaping it perfectly.

"Oh, William," Madeline sang in an angelic voice.

Will's arm stopped in mid-air as he turned his head towards the Mary-Sue.

"Yes, Miss. How may I help you?" he asked politely.

Madeline giggled. "William, call me Madeline. Miss is too formal."

"Alright then, what can I do for you, Madeline?" Will asked.

Madeline tapped her cheek lightly, thinking. "Where to start? Well, we could start with marriage."

Will was slightly taken back. "Pardon?"

"You're right. Maybe marriage is too soon," Madeline agreed. The Mary Sue began to pace the floor slowly. "Now, we can start where you fall madly in love with me. We can get married and have six children, sailing the seas for the rest of our days!"

"Er…Miss Madeline? It would seem that I am previously engaged to a Miss Elizabeth Swann," Will explained, blushing.

"Oh. Then that does create a problem for us, doesn't it?" Madeline clapped her hands three times. There was a bright light and a gush of wind. A teenage girl suddenly appeared out of nowhere. When she saw Will, her eyes widened and her jaw hung slightly open. A pool of drool began to form in the corner of her mouth.

"William," Madeline said, waving her hand towards the girl. "This is my creator."

"Hi William," the girl half shuddered, half giggled.

"She is your biggest fan and completely in love with you," Madeline explained. "But since you are a fictional character, she has taken her biggest personality strengths and whatever other trait she wishes to be and created me! She has also done the same with her looks."

The creator of the she-devil nodded her head madly. "It's true. I've created the ultimate character."

"Now, take note," Madeline told the girl. "You need to somehow write Elizabeth out of the plot so William and I can be together forever."

The fan girl pulled out a small notebook out of her pocket and scribbled down everything Madeline told her. "Anything else?"

Madeline pondered that question for a few moments. "Yes. You must make sure my William and I never fight or argue and have wonderful adventures with Jack Sparrow. Also, make sure Jack is in love with me as well, since who wouldn't be in love with me."

William coughed lightly. "Miss Madeline, I am not in love with you. I love Elizabeth and I've always have. Ever since she softly stroked my cheek as I lay on that piece of drift wood, I knew that she was the only one for me. I'm sorry."

Madeline shook her head and made a clicking sound with her mouth. "Oh, this won't do at all."

Suddenly, Elizabeth appeared out of the shadows with a rather large hammer. Madeline quickly spun around and before she could utter a word, Elizabeth quickly connected the hammer to her head. Madeline shattered into a million pieces of pink dust almost magically.

Her creator let out a terrified shriek, before disappearing herself.

"Well, I'm she's gone," Elizabeth sighed.

Will wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "That's the third one this week. Where do these people keep coming from?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "That last one was the prettiest one yet."

William shook his head. "I didn't even notice. You're the only girl for me, Elizabeth."

The two smiled at each other and then kissed content with just each other.

~THE END~