AN: This is my favorite story to write. It is about the whole what if Bella didn't jump scenario, but completely different. I am hoping to write a sequel to this fanfic if it gets enough reviews. The story starts out from when Bella is sitting at First Beach, right before deciding to cliff dive in the book. I hope you enjoy it. Also a very much earned thanks to my beta Breath-of-twilight, for making each chapter even more enjoyable. =]

I'm only going to do this once for the entire story, so here it goes. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, or anything associated with it. This all belongs to the very talented Stephenie Meyer.



If anything happened to Jacob, it would be my fault. This realization stabbed right into the deepest, darkest part of my stomach. I really need to find a distraction before I go crazy with worry, wondering where he is.

A brilliant idea suddenly came to me, cliff diving! I could go cliff diving, it would be the
greatest distraction. It had also been a while since I had heard him... his voice in my head. Just the mere thought of hearing him, caring about me again, had me racing back up the lane to Billy's house where my truck waited. I hastily reached for the driver's side, when I heard a familiar, husky
voice.

"Bells, where are you going? You can't leave, we just found a fresh trail this morning. It's too dangerous for you to be out there alone," Jacob bellowed. No doubt, questioning my sanity.

I looked up to face him, and something changed. When my eyes met his, it was like the floodgate to my emotions broke open. I smiled.

Jake was my sun. My own personal sun, that had guided me out of countless days of darkness over
the past few months, Jacob. My Jacob. It felt as if I had been hiding just how much I really felt for him, and now I was drowning in it all.

I love him.

I really, truly love him. Not as much as the love I feel for him... but enough to make me want to be with him and give love another chance. We could raise a family together, I never really thought that I would want kids, but now I realized that it was one of the best things I could hope for.

"Bella. Bells. Are you okay?" Jacob asked frantically, as he stared into my eyes, his filled with nothing but concerned worry.

It was the perfect opportunity for me to show him how I felt about him. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his warm breath tickle my cheeks every time he exhaled. I took the chance gratefully, reaching up on my tip-toes until my searching lips found his. This kiss was the perfect contrast to all of the kisses I had shared with him. Where they used to be cold, there was now a replacement of fierce heat. The hard structure my hands were used to was gone, only to be replaced by soft flesh and gentle caresses.

I liked this new feeling, it was comforting. But all too soon Jacob slowly pulled away from my embrace. His face showed nothing but complete confusion.

"Bella, what...?"

"I love you, Jake. I don't know when I started to feel this way, but I just want you to know that I love you. I want to be with you, but please, understand that there are going to be times when I remember him and just break down. Believe me when I say, I love you so much, but I can't simply erase how I still feel about him. So that's all I have to say, and I won't be mad if you don't want to be with me anymore after everything I just told you," The word vomit just poured from me as I struggled to express my feelings for him, I took a deep breath for strength, then smiled.

I studied Jacob's face as he took in my words. His head hung, as he stared at the ground. His face held no emotion, except for the same confusion that had appeared after my surprise kiss.

After a couple of minutes in silence, I began to panic. What if he had changed his mind, and didn't want
me in that way anymore. This mere thought crushed all of my hopes. However, what I had said was true. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to be with me. I was damaged goods, after all.

I continued to stand before him, fidgeting nervously, waiting patiently for Jake's reply, though all I
really wanted was to run far away from the humiliation that was soon to come.

Finally, Jake found his voice. "Bella, I think I'm going to need some time to think about all of this," he whispered, almost too low for me to hear.

"That's okay, Jacob. Take your time, I understand." My voice breaking in all the wrong spots.

"Bells, I'm sorry. You know damn well just how much I care about you. But I don't know if I can be with you, and never know if it's me or him that you're thinking about when we're together. Never knowing if it's actually him you see whenever we kiss. I just need to think," he stammered as his eyes began to brim with unshed tears.

"Okay, Jake. Just… please, call me when you decide." I couldn't force my voice to go any higher than a whisper, due to the tightness in my throat. With that, I turned and walked away, leaving it all up to destiny.

***

Pulling into Charlie's driveway, I noticed that the cruiser wasn't parked in the street. This was a good thing. If Charlie saw me in my current state he would most definitely think that I had returned to my old zombie days. He would probably try to send me back to Renée, or worse, put me in therapy. I
could just imagine how my first session would go.

'So the problem is, my first true love 'who happens to thirst for human blood' and his family left me because he didn't love me anymore. Then I became best friends with a guy 'who tends to change into a werewolf whenever he gets too angry' and he wanted to be with me as more than just friends, but I
was still too distraught about my vampire ex-boyfriend. However, now I realize that I love my werewolf best friend enough to be with him, but not enough to forget about my vampire. So I told my werewolf this, and now he's not so sure that he can be with me because of the fact that I can't seem to get
over my vampire. So do you see the problem in all of this doctor?'

Yeah! That would be one session he'd surely never forget.

I stepped out of my truck and into the rain, scurrying to get inside, where I would be welcomed home by the dry warmth of the house. Shutting the door behind me as I ventured inside, turning to hang my coat up in the closet, and journeying into the kitchen.

The smell of Charlie's attempt to make dinner the night before still lingered, I would never be able to look at lasagna again without becoming nauseated. I quickly cracked open a window and sprayed
the place down with air freshener. There, much better!

After finishing up the dishes from breakfast this morning, I quickly went to the fridge and grabbed a
slice of pizza from the night before. I made quick work of heating it up in the microwave. I didn't want to face Charlie when he came home, so I hurriedly scarfed down my meal and dashed off to my room.

There was nothing I could do to occupy my mind. I tried listening to music, e-mailing Renée, even studying for the quiz I had to take the next day in American Literature, but all failed. Beginning to feel the fatigue as a result to my long day, I decided to shower and go to bed.

***

'TINK'

What the hell?

'TINK...TINK...TINK'

Okay now that is annoying. I opened my eyes, sleepily.

'TINK...TINK...TINK...TINK...TINK'

Who the hell would be throwing rocks at my window at, I quickly glanced at my alarm clock… three in the morning?

Getting out of bed, I slowly walked over to where the sound was coming from. I threw open my window and stuck my head out into the night.

"Jake. What the hell is your problem? Do you realize what time it is?"

"I know, Bells. I'm sorry for waking you up, but we really need to talk."