Summary: If "Suzy" can make it through the day without giving in, Sanji wins. If Zoro can make Sanji fess up rather then endure further embarrassment, Zoro wins. Or so they thought…
Standard Disclamer: One Piece belongs to the ever-creative Eiichiro Oda.
Third-person subjective. ZoroxSanji
I started writing this before the anime episode, so let's ignore the part about the island being entirely pink (shudder) and that everything on the island has a maidenly heart. This story will be 8 chapters long.
Trainwreck on Kamabakka
A One Piece Fanfiction by Tyigra
Chapter 1: Clickity Clack, Clickity Clack
Sanji woke up groggily, wiping the sleep from his eyes, and began to get dressed. A skirt and blouse sounded good for today, he decided, and chose a fashionable pair of high-heeled boots to match. He'd lost track of how many weeks he'd been stuck here on the stupid crossdresser island, but it had been long enough that he'd decided, "if I have to dress like a woman, I'm at least going to do a good job of it." He'd always had a sharp eye for fashionable suits and shoes, and an appreciative eye for female beauty, so it had been surprisingly easy to make the transition. He'd initially been furious after he'd been captured, and let them give him hair extensions that didn't match and ludicrously heavy makeup (like the rest of them, in other words.) As it became more and more evident that there was no hope of salvaging his manly pride, he began chasing away his dressing room "helpers" and doing the job himself.
Which was how he found himself staring into a mirror with a rather attractive woman staring out of it back at him. The hair that reached down to the middle of his back was straight and matched his own hair color perfectly. One eye was still veiled by his bangs, but the other peeked out under long lashes, and the lips that framed his morning cigarette were only painted a mild shade of pink. The stubble was missing from his chin, and the boots were tall enough to hide his hairy legs (which he still refused to shave.) His blouse exposed his collarbone and modestly teased his nonexistent cleavage (he also refused to wear lingerie.) Combined with his long, lean frame, Sanji thought he was at least passable as a tall, flat-chested woman. Better than most of the people on the damn island, anyway.
Feeling much more awake, he left the room that had been given to him and made his way to kitchen. Once his cooking skills had been discovered, he'd quickly been put in charge of preparing food for the little inn/diner that served as the daytime hub of activity on the island. He spent his days listening to the inane chatter of the residents as they gossiped and did each other's hair (or whatever,) in the hopes of catching a bit of news from the travelers that passed through. If he could barter passage on a ship heading in the right direction he had every intension of getting the hell of there, but so far all travelers were either heading the wrong way, or were marines, or would only take him in exchange for…certain favors. Like hell! Even if he could beat the crap out of the whole crew, that would leave no one to run the ship. And he did not appreciate being stared at like he was a woman.
Sanji briefly wondered if that was why he could never get a girl for himself.
Nah.
Breakfast was in full swing now, and he was dishing out the orders as fast as they came in only because he was just that awesome. The hot topic of the morning seemed to be a ship that had docked during the night. Rumors were flying that one of the crew was a "gorgeous hunk of meat" and that it was a shame the travelers weren't planning on staying for any longer than it took for the log pose to set. For the thousandth time, Sanji wished he hadn't crashed on the island without a coin or a plank of wood to his name. If he'd come here on a boat he never would have had to participate in the local customs.
Suzy, one of the more hideous okamas came bursting in through the front door, his hideously caked makeup cracking under the force of his simpering grin. "He's coming, he's coming! He's even sexier than advertised!" He rushed over to his gaggle of "girl" friends and took a seat as they all broke out into eager giggles. Sanji rolled his eyes and wished breakfast was over. He could really use another cigarette, but there was no way he was smoking in a kitchen. With a sigh, he carried a plate of the usual over to Suzy and refilled the other patrons drinks. They paused in their insipid chatter long enough to thank him, then resumed. Sanji turned to head back to the kitchen when a phrase amid the gossip drifted up to his ears and froze him in place.
"…green hair…"
Surely it couldn't be…but hope soared in his chest. Had he finally found his nakama? The terror of that last battle, the confusion of his flight, the loneliness without his friends…was it over at last?
At the sound of the doors opening again he spun around, eyes wide. Standing in the entryway was silhouetted a familiar pair of broad shoulders, sporting three swords on one hip and three dangling earrings from one ear. The doors closed as the figure stepped in, revealing mossy green hair and sharp eyes that quickly took in the layout of the room and everyone in it.
Sanji's heart leaped for joy. He'd never been so happy to see that marimo-head in his life!
Two seconds later, his heart plummeted and his face turned pale. Oh crap, please don't let him recognize me like this!
* * *
Zoro briefly scanned the room, confirming that it was full of yet more of the creepy cross dressers. If that much makeup looked ugly on a woman, what made the men think it would look any more attractive on them?
One thing caught his attention though. The waitress in the middle of the room had stared at him with delighted recognition, then suddenly horror. Also, the waitress was definitely Sanji.
Delight at finding one of his nakama well hidden behind his poker face, he examined the sight in front of him. Familiar curly eyebrow? Check. Confident bearing and strong, balanced posture? Check. Skirt, makeup and long hair? That was… new.
But he pulled it off well.
Poor guy. Sanji was never going to live this down. Zoro would make sure of that.
Most of this story is already written, actually, so expect updates to come quickly. That said, I still appreciate and value your input, so don't be shy. Think of it as a game. You click on the nice shiny "Review" button, and the author gets a prize! :P