This is another story and yes, its set in modern and not so ancient times so dont worry. Please R&R. I'm prone(and still am) to losing self esteem fast. Or maybe I ran out and still posted anyway. So REVIEW! please?

Chapter 1

byBlueChiuahuaCrimsonFlame

Here lies Sima Yi, bored out of his wits or whatever you call it. No, he isn't dead just yet. He's just bored. His supposedly best friend didn't like bothering him anymore, since he was out chasing his "new friends", the butterflies.

He was on his "throne", the toilet, where he writes his diary. Actually, he was on the toilet without the seat. The old toilets that many tourists hate when they go to an old historical spot with the old Washroom, that's the one. Unless you haven't been there, it's annoying to squat and- oh, forget it. If you've never seen one, "look for it in the internet," as Sima Yi would bark. "After all, I created it." which wasn't true. Some other guy did that.

Anyway, Yi was writing in his diary:

Mr. Pamphlet, my diary,

why is the world absolutely boring for a man of my likes? Why couldn't I live in the new world? They're so lucky to have those toilets that you don't have trouble sitting on, but WHY? I like that word... So it's a good thing Zhang He found someone else to pester, but I actually miss him. That is most annoying. I don't know why! Why? And for once, a person as devious as I am cant find ABSOLUTELY anything to do or anyone to think about and backstab. I miss the days when I get to see those pathetic peasants die! And I miss especially the days of my youth when Zhang He and I dance to some old Tibetan song…and don't tell that to anyone. Jeez! I'm starting to write like a

He slammed it shut in anger while he sat up straight like a mime since you can't sit on the ancient toilets, his brush dry and the ink bottle inkless. But his diary fell into the pool of water below him. At least he was just pretending to sit, and he wasn't doing some excreting. But still, Sima Yi threw up his hands in disgust with a great " #$!" that echoed into the toilet room.

Then he stood up, his legs wobbling. He snapped his fingers just like when he got a good idea. "I KNOW!" he told himself, the guards guarding the toilet room (who knows why) just thought of him as psycho (no surprise) who talks to himself after losing his friend to a "bunch of stupid things," as Sima Yi would call them.

Two weeks later…

"I just don't understand that wad of chicken fat." Cao Cao grumbled as he stood in the middle of the crowd talking with the other leaders under the scorching hot sun. "I knew he was bad news, ever since he started eating fried frog legs, especially when we put chili."

"Don't say that about Yi." Sun Jian said. "He's your favorite, right? And what the heck is wrong with frog legs? It's good!"

"He eats it with mustard. And carrots"

"Oh."

"EVERYONE!"

The crowd hushed at the command. Sima Yi stood on the pedestal in front of them on top of an altar. He revealed a huge thin thing, a black surface with silver outlines. Everyone stared at it dumbly a 'what the heck?' expression on their faces. Sima Yi scowled. "This thing is-" he started.

"It's a thing that does absolutely nothing!" Xiao Qiao piped from the crowd, triggering a few murmurs. "I'll bet it's a fancy tray!" Guan Ping guessed. "No way! It's gotta be something you hit on people's head!" Lu Meng announced.

Sima Yi scowled and surveyed the crowd. Xiao Qiao was pestering Zhou Yu about something, who was getting pissed. Zhen Ji and Cao Pi were dumbfounded. Cao Ren was bored. Yue Ying and Zhuge Liang were smiling smugly as if they knew what the contraption is. The Xiaohu cousins (or was it brothers?) were rolling around the floor, from boredom maybe. Sun Ce was annoying his siblings, and Zhang He was still chasing butterflies, oblivious to what was going on. Jiang Wei was tugging Zhao Yun and moving around and going around through the crowd, looking for Zhuge Liang, probably. And then everyone else were either talking or racking their brains or just standing and waiting, bored.

"This thing," Sima Yi started, and everyone fell silent. Yi was satisfied. "Is called 'Television'. 'TV' in short."

Murmurs erupted again. "NOW LOOK AT THE SCREEN!" he ordered and saw a sea of eyes looking at him directly. Yi grew annoyed. "THE SCREEN IS THE BLACK THING ON THE TV!"

All eyes moved to the TV Yi was holing above his head. The black screen turned into a swirly thing, black and white. "You will obey…" Yi said.

"Obey…" they all repeated in unison.

"What I will say…"

"Say…"

"You are-"

"BARNEY IS A DINOSAUR FROM OUR-"

"Dammit!" he cursed under his breath and jabbed the buttons behind the screen to stop the show form playing. Who must've done that? Probably the trouble-maker, Zhang He, must've rigged it. Zhang He loved anything purple, even to the most disgusting thing as long as it was purple. Although he probably wanted to put a show about that Barbie in Fairytopia thing or whatever you call it (I'm not a fan of that thing) he was babbling about the week before…

"Finally!" he sighed in relief. But he looked at everyone. They were all dancing like weirdos, hopping around and twirling. Although it was amusing, Sima Yi wanted to do something else; what Sima Yi wants, Sima Yi gets. That's what he says.

The TV show was, again, the swirly stuff. "Lookie here!" he said, and they obeyed.

"Now I will magically transfer you to a dome, where you will live like those people in the New Age." Yi said. "I will be watching your every move. You will have those things called 'jobs' and you'll have those new toilets. And please, no acting like Barney the Dinosaur. Good bye."

Everyone disappeared in a flash of light. Sima Yi did his Signature Smirk. "I'll be watching…" he told the empty spot. The two guards who guarded the toilet room came outside for their break when Sima Yi started talking. Since they didn't know what happened, they assumed he was talking to himself again. They looked at each other and assumed he was really lonely, but didn't care anyway. The continued walking, hoping never to be that way…

Sima Yi entered the new room, the floor carpeted in red and tapestries everywhere except one wall. He sat on the huge plush throne (not a toilet) across that certain wall. He held a remote control and pressed one button. The huge television turned on and he Sig Smirked. He rested his head on his free palm and tuned into one of the channels, watching one of them. He was watching…

So who was his first victim? Please tell me what you think about it, and even a flame would do, as long as it's really important. If you have nothing to say about it, just put a 'hi' or something.