Forever Hers

Eric's POV

I have never been so confused in my long life. That statement alone would give many vampires in the new hierarchy reason to have me staked. Not that I think many of them are looking for a reason.

I am not liked by my new contemporaries. They don't understand the way I run my area. They can't fathom why it's important to me to earn the loyalty of my underlings. They rule by terror and threats. I imagine that's why many like them have been subjected to the business end of a sharpened piece of wood.

It has been weeks since I finally secured my position and worked out all the details with DeCastro. He's not as smart as he believes himself to be but I had to pledge my loyalty to him to keep all that I had worked for. I know that I could have started over again in another state, another town. The idea tempted me greatly and would have been an option if it hadn't been for Sookie. Only for Sookie Stackhouse would I subject myself to pledging fealty to an ignorant, pompous ass like Felipe. The worst part of that truth is that I have no idea why I feel so strongly for her.

I am missing time and memories. I am sure that Sookie played a huge role in those lost days. I feel in my bones that she and I were lovers and I am furious that those times have been lost to me. I struggle, in my downtime as Sookie calls it, to will my brain to recall what I have forgotten. I pity Sookie when I feel her sadness through the bond we share. The loss she feels is infinite. What could we have shared that has her pining for me so strongly? It's intensity, as it flows through our connection, is a jolt to my mind.

Every now and then I get a fragment of a memory, a flash of something that escapes me like a wind through the tree's. The horrid afghan that Sookie keeps on the back of her couch has been a frequent, taunting visitor. I was passing through the electronics department of Wal-Mart a few days ago, on my way to buy Generation Kill, and I saw a show that was vaguely familiar playing on the big screen t.v.'s. I asked an employee what the show was and he said it was called Angel. Somehow I knew it was a show about silly vampires that had pulsing foreheads. I know that I have never deigned to watch something so insipidly idiotic. This was another piece of the puzzle.

I haven't called Sookie, even though I promised her that we would talk. It isn't out of lack of wanting to hear the sweet twang of her voice. I'm not even adverse to hearing her curse at me for taking so long – yes I feel her anger through the bond as well. I fear that she may be less than willing to give me the answers that I seek. I fear that out of frustration with her obstinacy I might lash out and frighten her. Believe me when I say that I would glamor the information out of her if only I could. She is extremely stubborn and that doesn't sit well with someone like me. I am used to getting what I want with minimum effort.

I did, however, spend a single night and the following day in her cellar. I needed the nearness of her. It was absolute torture to lie in the dark two floors beneath her when I could feel her longing through the bond. I could hear her cry out as she dreamed. I heard my name. I heard her tears as she raged, willing the phone to ring and cursing when it did not. I wanted to go to her, to comfort her. But I knew that I would be angry when she refused to tell me what I wanted, no, needed to know. If I hurt or scared Sookie, I don't know what I would end up doing.

All the next day, while the sun forced me to sleep, I was still aware enough to hear her move about her house. I heard conversations with her brother, friends, the Shifter she works for. I heard her prayer as she sat down to eat her lunch. She asked for forgiveness for praying for something so menial as a phone call. She had asked her God for a phone call from me.

When the sun went down, I couldn't get away fast enough. It was getting harder to resist the temptation, to not run to her and tell her what she wanted to hear just to learn what had happened between us. I left the Stackhouse residence more confused than ever. This human was making me feel things that I had worked very hard to suppress.

Being as old a vampire as I am, I know that time for me passes much quicker than it does for a human. An immortal attaching themselves to someone so breakable is asking for trouble. To love a human is insane, their life span is a drop in the bucket of eternity. Sookie will die someday and if I allow myself to love her, I allow myself to be hurt. Hurt causes distraction, distraction can get a vampire killed. Was this woman worth risking final death for? I hoped to be able to tell myself no, she wasn't. Sadly, I cannot.

So I distanced myself even further. I refused to even say her name. I referred to her only as 'The Telepath'. I no longer followed her but commanded Pam to do it instead. She tired of this assignment quickly. I relieved her of telepath detail when she threatened to turn Sookie herself just to end the "bullshit". Pam has a persuasive way with words. Her final report to me included the information that Sookie would be taking some children to beg for candy on the following night. How did it come to be Halloween and I did not even know it?

If I knew Sookie, she would dress in some costume that was deliciously inappropriate and my little danger magnet would attract the wrong kind of attention. I would have to follow her to keep her out of harms way.

So here I am at her home, perched inconspicuously in a tree. I can smell the teacup humans and hear their laughter. What I hear next sets my libido ablaze.

"Gimme a C! Gimme an A! Gimme an N, D, Y! What's that spell?"

God's be praised! Sookie is dressed as a cheerleader. A million devious thoughts run through my mind, followed by as many x-rated scenarios. I shake my head to try and clear out the smutty clutter. Tonight is about protecting Sookie from harm. Who is going to protect her from me?

I hear and smell her exiting her home with her guests. She's looking around the yard as she puts the children into her old car. Is she sensing me somehow? I take to the sky and fly back to where I parked my Corvette. I will be able to fall in behind her easily from here. I know that she will head to Bon Temps, she is a creature of habit indeed.

I'm mildly surprised when she takes the side road that leads to Merlotte's. I'm certain that the Shifter has closed the bar this Halloween. Why would she choose to stop here? I feel a little jealous as I realize that she merely wants to see Sam Merlotte. My fangs lower and I let out a low growl before I can rein my anger in.

I floor the gas pedal and speed past so that she won't get a good look at the car, it's too distinct and recognizable. I park off road about a half mile past where she had turned and fly back to the bar. The roof of Merlotte's is my vantage point as I watch the children run to greet the shifter. My mouth hangs open and I feel real hunger as I get my first good, long look at Sookie the Cheerleader. I want to eat her in every sense of the word.

She exchanges pleasantries with her boss and I feel a surge of embarrassment flow through the bond. What had the dog been thinking to make her react that way? I am angry again. Very, very angry.

Merlotte gives the children money in lieu of candy and they all say their goodbyes. His embrace with Sookie is a little too long in my opinion. If he doesn't mind himself very carefully, it might be his final goodbye. He waves as they drive away. I am about to take flight back to my car when I hear him call out to me.

"Come out vampire. I can smell you. What do you want?"

I blur instantly to stand in front of him, pulling myself up to my full six foot four, and glare down at him.

"You will keep your thoughts chaste when you are around my intended. And I would advise keeping your fucking paws off of her as well. I AM assuming that if I were to cut them off, they wouldn't grow back," I growl menacingly.

"Are we gonna rumble now, bad-ass? Sookie is a person not a possession, and I am real protective of her. Let me assure you that I don't give a fuck what you're the Sheriff of or how old you are. I'm not a vamp and I will end you if you harm a single hair on her head."

The shifter stands toe to toe with me and does his best to stare me down. I begrudgingly admire him, regardless of whether he is actually that brave or just that fucking stupid.

"We are bonded, she and I. I am also very protective of her. You should be aware that I plan to make her my lover. Again."

I add the final word to get a reaction out of Merlotte, maybe he knows some of what had happened between Sookie and I.

"You should know by now Eric, Sookie is strong willed and she won't be told anything by anyone. Not even you. If you're so crazy about her, why haven't you called? She's waited for you for months now and you haven't cared enough to pick up the fucking phone."

I growl loudly and grab the shifter by the throat, lifting him up off the ground before I can stop myself. It will not bode well for me to kill the little bastard or for Sookie to feel my rage through the bond. I lower him down but keep my hand around his neck.

"You would do well not to talk about things that you know nothing about!" I spit my words at him as I give him a slight push. He stumbles slightly and then rights himself.

"Maybe you should get going, keep her safe tonight. I'm assuming that IS why you were hanging out on my roof?" The shifter has balls, that's for sure. Perhaps I will allow him to live for a while longer, he can protect Sookie during the day when I cannot.

I don't answer him before I take off into the sky. I don't bother to go back to my car either. I will be able to find Sookie much faster from the air.

I catch up to them as Sookie parks her car next to the human barber shop. I perch in the upper branches of a large Sycamore tree. Once again, Sookie turns to look behind. She is at least sensing that someone is watching her. I stare at her tan stomach peeping out from the gap between her top and her skirt. I push the surge of lust I feel through our bond and laugh quietly as I see her shiver. It's a cruel thing to do, I know. I feel it necessary though, after seeing the way she lingered in Sam Merlotte's embrace.

Her legs look delectable as she runs to catch up with the mini-humans. I fly from tree to tree to keep up and remain unseen. She keeps the children reined in like a worried mother. She puts a reassuring hand on their backs when they were afraid to approach a certain house. She holds them back when she senses something is not quite right about certain homes. Something in the way she is being so protective of these children who are not her own is stirring unfamiliar things inside of me.

Suddenly, I catch another fragment of a memory; I am running down a road. Am I nude? No, I have on jeans. I look down and see my shoeless feet as I run. I hear a car and I feel fear. The car slows next to me and I hear a voice.

The fragment is gone as suddenly as it appeared. I barely contain a scream of frustration. It doesn't help matters that I look down and see Sookie hugging yet another man, one dressed as a cowboy. I don't know this human but the smell of his blood is extra sweet. I can tell that he is pure, even from my lofty perch. I file his address away in my memory. Perhaps he could serve as a snack later. Virgins that are of age are so rare these days.

Sookie heads back to the car, a fun-size witch and vampire in tow. They have to drag the bags of candy. Surely they will die if they consume all of that tonight! What a waste that would be. I haven't eaten a child in hundreds of years. It has become taboo to feed on children, even amongst the most vicious of vampires. In my opinion, humans should not be treated like wine, they do not get better with age. Their blood only becomes polluted. While there is hardly any blood in them and you can't feed from one without killing it, the taste of the young is an experience like no other.

I am surprised again when Sookie heads in the opposite direction of her home. She ends up driving to Wal-Mart instead. As she herds her wards into the tacky but convenient emporium of low prices, I am struck with another memory.

Someone is cleaning my feet, tending to the wounds. Where is the face? Who is this? The scene fades but is replaced by another. I am opening a bathroom door, there is steam in the air. I reach out my hand to pull back the shower curtain, I can feel that I am completely engorged and ready to fuck someone's brains out. What bathroom is this? It unfamiliar, it's … Another flash; I feel a scorching pain in my chest, someone has shot me, I was protecting someone from the shooter but this person ends up saving me, they shoot my would be assassin. I turn to look and right as I am about to look into the face, it's gone. Now another flash, I am holding someone close to me. The words I am saying are incredible but I feel them strongly as I make my proclamations. I pledge my love, that everyone who owes me fealty will bow to her... I look down at the person I am holding and she smiles a sad, weary smile up at me. It's my Sookie.

I can feel a deluge about to happen. The memories come at me rapidly. I must get away from this place before Sookie comes out. I have already attracted the attention of some awkward, scantily costumed teenagers. I wink at them and then shoot up into the moonless night sky. I can sense that I have narrowly escaped Sookie as she exits the store.

I head back to Hummingbird Lane and return to the root cellar to collect my thoughts. I want to remember everything, every last second of my time with her. I am safe here. I open my mind to the downpour.

She had found me running down her road and picked me up, I hadn't known who she was. She had tended to the wounds on my feet. She'd let me sleep in her bed that first night, holding my hand as she drifted off to sleep. I hadn't remembered who she was but she had treated me with such kindness and compassion. Even with my amnesia, it had been hard for me to tear myself away from her warm, sleeping body to crawl into the hiding place in her closet. We'd made love for the first time, starting in the shower and finishing on her bed. I had drank from her. Afterward she'd made her adorable comment about an orgasm jar. We'd made love again. Ahhh, there was the comment about my "gracious plenty". She'd killed Debbie Pelt after I'd taken a bullet that had been meant for her. I had gotten rid of Debbie's body and her car. Sookie had risked her life to help me reclaim mine, she'd gone straight into the proverbial lion's den to help defeat Hallow and her followers. I owed this woman so much. I felt an emotion that had been absent since I had been made vampire. Shame.

Every single detail of my missing time has now been reclaimed and I can go to Sookie. What will I say to her? Shall I beg her to forgive me for being absent for so long? Should I just sweep her into my arms and ravage her like I feel inclined to do at the moment?

I exit the cellar and find a good vantage point to view Sookie arriving home. I hear a car approach but it had turns out to be the woman Arlene, mother to the children Sookie has been tending to, and her beau. He is a strange one indeed, talking to himself, rambling about friendly fire and schwacking people. These phrases are familiar to me since I have watched Generation Kill.

Sookie arrives not long after and I grow impatient as I see the woman and her strange boyfriend enter the house. I am eager to talk with my lover, now that I know that she has actually been my lover. I grow erect recalling the details of all the sex we've had. It is all new to me and I replay everything over and over in my mind. I memorize what I did that she liked the most, the faces she made while I pleasured her, how she adored my ass.

I hear the redhead leave with her family. She is displeased about something and my Sookie lets her know of her own discontent. I wonder what the tiff is about but I am not too concerned. There are bigger concerns that need to be addressed. I see Sookie look hard in the exact direction of where I am. Suddenly she turns tail and runs back into the house. I blur to her living room window and watch her inside her home.

Her mind calls out to me, I can sense it. I send her wave after wave of comfort and serenity through the bond. She sits on her couch and lays her head back. As she closes her eyes I feel her lust come at me like a tsunami. She is dreaming of me, dreaming of the times we have made love in this house.

I can't wait any longer, I have to face her right now. I rush to the door and knock lightly. I get no response from her. I knock again, a little louder and still no response. As my hand is paused on the door, ready to knock again I am hit with a wave of pure, unadulterated, carnal desire. I pound on the door so strongly that my fist threatens to go straight through the wood.

I can sense her, smell her, almost taste her as she approaches the door. Her voice sounds distant and dreamy as she calls out.

"Who is it?"

"Open the door min alskare. Invite me in."

My voice is heavy with a million emotions, lust surprisingly being far down the list. I am anxious to see her face to face, to see if she will welcome me or tell me to fuck off. I am pleased when the door swings open and even happier when I see the appraising look she gives me. Her eyes linger on my hair, I know that it must be a wild mess since I have been flying all night. I run my fingers through it to tame it as best I can.

She doesn't speak to me with words but I feel her desire talking loudly through our blood bond. I play it safe by not tackling her on the the foyer floor and fucking the life out of her like I want to.

"Sookie, are you well?"

She nods and I am highly amused to see her staring at what she has endearingly named my "gracious plenty". She is extremely aroused, I think this may go better than I had hoped.

"May I come in?"

My request seems to break her out of her daze.

"Of course. Won't you please come in and visit for a while?"

She steps aside and lets me enter. I breathe in the smell of her, her home, all the scents that are Sookie. All these smells remind me once again of my newly recovered memories. It feels like a homecoming.

Sookie is distracted by something, she doesn't notice the single rose that I try to give her for several seconds.

It is a rose with special meaning. I commissioned a nursery in Bangladesh to hybridize this breed of rose. It is named Sookie in honor of my lover. All of this had been done long ago, when I had first set my sights on this woman. Back then, I had done this as a way to seduce her, now I present this rose to her as a way of honoring and thanking her for all that she's done.

She finally takes the rose from my hand and lifts the bloom to her nose. She inhales it's perfume deeply and I am pleased to see the look of bliss that crosses her face. I will tell her of it's name and origin later. This night needs to be about reconnecting, explaining and discovering.

"We must talk, Sookie."

She breaks my concentration with another wave of desire that barrels through the bond like a freight train. It takes all of my willpower to remain rooted where I am. I'm being thoroughly tested, I've never had to use such restraint before.

"I remember everything."

"Everything?"

She sounds incredulous, like I can't possibly have recalled every little detail and nuance. But I have, right down to the scent of her body before and after she climaxes. The change is subtle but I remember it.

"Everything. From the moment you found me running alongside the road to Pam torturing Hallow then killing her to break the spell."

"And?"

She looks worried. What in the world can she be worried about? That I won't want her after all she's had done for me? That making love to her isn't the single most enjoyable thing that I've done in over a thousand years? That looking back now, I can still fathom giving up everything for her just as I'd said I would while under the spell?

The weight of the world seems to have laid itself on my lovers shoulders and I realize that she's been burdened with all of these memories. While I've been completely clueless, she's longed for what had been lost. She's probably scared that I will hold those stolen moments over her somehow. I have to know.

"Why did you not tell me? I've been so confused, feeling all of these unexplained emotions for and about you. What we had was so...."

"Horrible?"

I can't comprehend how she could believe that I would have thought those times to be anything less than amazing.

"Incredible." It was the only word that even comes close to summing up how my memories have affected me.

She starts to fall to the floor and I reach out to her, feeling a completeness once I have her in my arms, pressing her to me. Her reaction has brought the reality of her utter loneliness home to me.

"How terrible it must have been for you, lover. At least I had the bliss of ignorance for all these months, the distraction of establishing myself with the new hierarchy. Why didn't you come to me or call me? Why didn't you help me remember?"

She doesn't answer me so I do the only thing that feels right in that moment. I kiss her. This is perfect, this is right. I am home.

"Sookie, let me make love to you."

It sounds more like a question than anything. I want her so badly but she has to want it too. There could be no domineering Viking tonight. I want to be the man she fell in love with, not the Sheriff, not the club owner. Simply Sookie's Eric.

"Please, please ..." she pleads. Why does my lover feel the need to beg? If she asked for the moon I would go mad trying to get it for her.

I grab her and rush to her bedroom in a frenzy. My frenzy ends as I place her on the bed. I'd decided before I had even knocked on her door that if she allowed me to, I would make love to her until the sun forced me to stop. She watches me as I undress slowly, her eyes never stop roaming up and down my body. I love that she appreciated me the same way I appreciate her.

She gasps as her eyes reach the gracious plenty. Who wouldn't love a reaction like that? I feel excitement course through my body as I come to terms with the fact that I am about to make love to Sookie Stackhouse. This time there will be no loss, no excuses. I am me and I know how to make her feel good. I see that she is starting to undress herself. This will not do.

"Please, allow me alskare. You are a feast for my eyes and I want to savor every bite."

I feel the effect my words have on her and they fuel my libido in turn. I keep my movements slow and deliberate. Loss of control would be bad for Sookie. Anything bad for Sookie is bad for me.

I crawl to her on the bed and pull her upright. I lean in close and caress her ear with my tongue before I whisper.

"I'm going to make up for all our lost time. I'm going to make you forget about all the times you had to lay in this bed without me. It's going to be everything it ever was and even more. I'm going to make every single fantasy you ever may have had about us come true tonight. I will make things right, lover. I am here to claim what is mine and once that is done, I will never let you go."

What she says to me next breaks my self control. Is she determined that I should eat her alive tonight? What is this human doing to me?

"Quit with all the talking, Northman. Make love to me, screw me, fuck me senseless, whatever you want to call it. Just make me feel good. Touch me please!"

I rip her shirt apart at the seams and rather than waste time with the clasp I bite her bra in two. As I use my tongue to pleasure her glorious breasts I feel her hand slide down and grasp me firmly. I growl my approval. I hold my wrist out to her, hoping that I won't have to ask her to bite me and drink. She doesn't disappoint me, her bite is strong and she sucks deeply once the wound is made. It can only help to strengthen the bond this way. I want her to see the truth about my absence, to put to rest any doubts she may have about my feelings for her.

I am lost in the moment, reeling in the pleasure of having Sookie drink from me. Suddenly I feel her mouth take me in. It takes all I have not to cry out from the ecstasy of it.

"Sookie, my lover, Sookie, Sookie…," Her name is my saving grace, keeping me from losing my mind as she brings me to a climax with her mouth and hands. I reveal to her through the bond that while I have fed on willing donor's, I have not been with anyone sexually since her. She wraps her arms around me and I can feel her smile into my chest. I feel a moment of panic. This is much more than I had anticipated. I am getting in too deep emotionally but I can't stop myself. I no longer need air to breathe but I cannot exist without Sookie. She now has power over me like no one else.

I whisk her onto the tall dresser in her room. I am determined to give her some of what I know she loves. I stare at her face as I bring her pleasure with my tongue and lips. I can feel her release building and I use my fingers to send her over the edge. The taste of her is sweet, more delicious than blood of any type. She cries out my name and it's music to my ears and my ego.

As I place her back on the bed, she scrambles off of her back and on to her knee's in front of her door mirror. I don't recall us ever having had sex this way and I am ragingly hard at the idea of it. A small growl escapes me. I see her looking at me in the mirror as I position myself behind her.

"You better fuck me hard, Eric."

This is all the incentive I need, I shove into her roughly and she screams. I am afraid that I may have hurt her and I start to pull out, then she shoves herself back onto me. I plunge into her again and the sounds she makes are agonizingly erotic. I can't get deep enough inside of her. I pull her into me harder as I grasp her by the hips. I flip her over on her back so I can look directly into her eyes.

"Let me taste you. I crave you, I need you."

She turns her head and bares her neck for me. She's yielding to me. I almost come right then from the realization. I sink my fangs into her neck and drink deeply. Her blood is like a fine vintage. The sound of her crying out motivates my hips to move faster and I feel her contract around me as she orgasms. I fear that I may take too much from her and start to lick the punctures to begin the healing.

She gives to me so freely and I feel overwhelmed. I am still thrusting and I close my eyes because emotions are threatening to take over. As much as I love Sookie, I cannot cry in front of her.

I am shocked when I feel her mouth on my neck and then her teeth as she bites into me hard. I come explosively as she drinks from me. I feel things that I would not have chosen to reveal to Sookie flow through the bond. There is nothing to be done about it now and I relax as my secrets are revealed to her.

She lowers her head back to the pillow, her face looks so peaceful, so happy, that I can't resist kissing it over and over again. She sighs sadly as I slip out of her. I can feel her fighting sleep but I know that it is a losing battle. I make a promise to her right before she nods off.

"Sleep, my lover. I will always be near. When the sun leaves the sky, I will be at your side. No matter what."

As I hear her breathing become rhythmic I slip out of the bed. I lean over her and kiss her lips. I revel in the smile that crosses her face even as she slumbers. I have a lot to think about.

I dress quietly and head down the stairs. I look around the comfortable living room and recall all the places that I had made love to Sookie. The floor, the couch, the kitchen table. I flip open my cell and call Pam.

"Yes?"

"It is I."

"Have you made peace with Sookie?"

"Yes."

"Have you done more than that?"

"Mind your manners Pam. You're speaking of my bonded."

"Shall we proceed to the next part of the plan?"

"Yes. The land has been procured but the hole must be dug."

"Have you let Sookie in on your little plan?"

"Don't be foolish. You know she doesn't want to be a vampire."

"But you'll change her anyway?"

"I can't be without her. If I don't do something, losing her will be inevitable."

"Very well, Master. I'll put the plan in motion. I hope all works out well."

"But?"

"But I think that Sookie will end up resenting you if you do this thing."

I flip the phone closed. That is a chance that I will just have to take.

As I put the rose in a vase and sit in on her dresser, I pen a small note.

I am closer than you know.

Forever Yours,

Eric

When I said forever, I meant forever. I grab the hideous afghan off the back of her couch as I head down to the root cellar once again. I can feel the sun breach the horizon as I wrap myself inside of it. I smile as I feel my body start to shut down.

I will find a way to make things work out.