A/N: I wrote this about a year ago in defiance of them killing Tosh and Owen off. The plot bunnies were fuelled by a late night game of Twister and who am I to try and resist them?

Scenes of an Immature Nature

"It wasn't my fault!" Owen protested.

"Really? I could have sworn I saw you standing right next to it." Jack argued back.

"I was… distracted."

"By…?" Owen remained silent, glaring at Jack. "So now what are we going to do?" Jack sighed.

"Drink?" Owen suggested.

"You can't handle yourself when you're sober, let alone after a drink." The team sat in silence for a moment, occasionally opening their mouths to suggest something, only for it to be dismissed by everyone else.

"We could play a game?" Gwen suggested.

"No way." Owen retorted at once.

"Why not?" She replied.

"You weren't here the last time we played a game." Tosh answered.

"What happened?"

"You really don't want to know." Ianto said.

"Yes I do. What happened?"

"Long story short, the last game we played was supposed to be a friendly game of poker, which turned into strip poker which somehow turned into semi-naked hide and seek. Suffice to say, the weevils have never looked at us in the same way since." Owen explained. Jack attempted to stifle a laugh and Owen glared at him.

"Well how about a fully-clothed game? Something completely harmless."

"There's no such thing."

"Ooh, I'm sure I have something in my office that could pass the time." Jack replied, jumping up and momentarily disappearing. The others looked confused for a moment, until he returned, grinning and carrying a dusty box. "Twister!"

"No." Owen protested.

"Why not?" Jack said, deflated.

"Well for one; this isn't a party for six year olds and two; it's just another way for you to express your pornographic fetishes."

"I promise you can keep your clothes on."

"I'd rather go play with Janet."

"I'm the boss, and I say we play Twister." Owen's expression remained horrified.

"I promise you can have a drink if we play."


"Tosh, you're out."

"That's not fair, Owen pushed me over."

"I did not. S'not my fault you've got crap balance."

"Ianto; right foot green."

"You have to be kidding me." Ianto winced as he attempted to stretch his leg over Jack's back to reach the only available green spot. "Jack, stop grinning." Ianto scolded.

"I knew this was a good idea." Jack teased. Ianto pushed him, causing him to land on Gwen, who collapsed, knocking over the vodka bottle that someone had left on the floor.

"IANTO!!" they both shouted. Ianto guiltily grinned at them.

"Now that's just a waste of drink. You miss a go." Owen slurred.

"Gwen; left foot yellow."

"God, this is so undignified." She moaned.

"I'm beginning to like this game!" Owen giggled as Gwen stretched her leg over his arm, giving him a perfect view of her backside.

"Can we stop playing now?" Gwen complained, attempting to slap Owen without falling over.

"It was your idea." Jack replied. "I'm having fun. Here's a crazy idea to make things more interesting. How about-"

"No!!" they shouted back in unison.

"What?"

"We're not playing naked."

"Party poopers." Jack sulked.

"Tosh, it's your go."

"I'm not playing anymore, you just cheat."

"I do not."

"Ianto, it's your go. Put your right foot on blue."

"Owen, whatever you do, don't fart or I may have to kill you." Owen's response was a naughty snigger. "Oh my god you are the most disgusting person I've ever met." Ianto smacked Owen round the head, sending him off balance, his head hitting the floor with a dull thunk.

"Oww!" Owen sat up clutching his forehead which was now gushing with blood. "Fucking teaboy, that hurt!"

"You shouldn't have farted then." Owen mumbled something grumpily and stumbled off towards the autopsy bay.

"I said games were a bad idea."


Owen slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the bright light. He sat up, wondering why he was in the hub and why his head was spinning. All of his muscles ached and his head hurt. Staggering to the nearest mirror, he groaned when he saw how rough he looked, but was even more shocked when he noticed the purpley-red gash on his forehead.

"What the..?" He trailed off as he saw Ianto wander in looking as bad as he did. "What the hell happened last night?"

"I don't think I want to remember." Ianto mumbled, sighing happily when he took a big gulp of his coffee.

"Good morning employees!" Jack strode into the room looking as chirpy as ever.

"No it isn't." Owen sighed.

"Aww, feeling rough? That'll teach you to 'accidentally' lean on the Hub shutdown lever, wont it!"

Owen glared. "Wasn't my fault."

Well, there you go. Hope you enjoyed the light relief, and remember that reviews = love. :)