A/N: This is an early Christmas present for my friend Gina! She's been pestering me to upload it, so here you go! Jesus. I'll have to convince her to write her own TwiFic. (:
I'm in love with the song "Either Way" by Lee Ann Womack. It may be country, something I rarely listen to, but I still like it!
Either Way
We passed in the hall, on our way to different rooms. He was headed to the living room while I made my way silently to the kitchen to make something to eat. For myself. We were only kids when we decided to get married. We were fresh out of high school and thought we knew what love was. Mainly, I think we were only in lust. He and I used to be so close, but it's been three years, and everything is different. We haven't talked in months. And when we do, it's when the monthly bills are due. In front of our friends, we are the perfect couple; we go to work, we go to dinner with them.
Everyone seems to believe us. At least, that's what we want to believe.
I used to cry and stay up nights, just wondering what went wrong.
It's been hard to see the man that you love be so unhappy for our foolish, childish mistakes. Yes, I do love him. But it took time to develop the love there. His copper, untidy hair had always struck me as attractive, his young emerald green eyes, and his addictive grin. He'd always been nice to me. Taken care of me, despite all of this. I've tried not to fall in love with him, knowing he'd soon want a way out of this marriage(he'd been too nervous to confront me of getting a divorce), but it's too hard to deny these feelings. I could never admit any of this because he'd feel obligated to stay with me, even though started to have a thing for a new nurse at the hospital. Where he works as a doctor.
He'd been talking about her the other night:
"She's really nice." He smiled and ate his dinner in silence. We haven't talked in months and the first time he actually wants to talk, is about an attractive nurse. "She's helping me with my...problems." I suddenly felt a pang of jealous. I was his wife, and I loved him - whether he knew it or not - and I was supposed to be here for him.
I faked a smile, "That's really great. Will you excuse me? I have a phone call to make." I ran out of the room cowardly, and cried myself to sleep.
That was the last time we had talked. And now, I'm passed the point to give a damn, and all my tears are cried. It's been so long since I felt anything in the walls.
It was the last time we had attempted conversation, until he stood up and answered the knock on the door earlier today. "Bella, I forgot to tell you, I have a guest." He opened the door and embraced the blonde woman. They stepped away from each other and looked at each other with emotion in their eyes. It's been so long since I've seen his eyes shine, and now they are. I couldn't deny their happiness so I excused myself.
"Bella! Where do you think you're going?" I turned and saw the blonde walking toward me in her high heels.
"You must be the infamous Bella." She smiled, her blue eyes wide and her hair straight. "I'm Tanya. I work with Edward, I'm also his--"
Edward coughed and I felt as if I'd been kicked in the stomach. I needed to get out of here. "It's very nice to meet you. I was just finishing up some work, I'm sorry, but--" I turned on my heel and walked to my own room, letting the tears well up and fall. I thought I was done with this, but perhaps I wasn't. Maybe there was no denying my love for him, but since I loved him, I'd sacrifice my own happiness for his.
I grabbed a suitcase off the top shelf of my closet and began throwing random clothes in it.
Once everything was packed, I stood by my door and took a deep breath. That's when I heard it...
"...You know you do. Just say it, come on." It was Tanya's bubbly voice.
"...I love you." I heard Edward sigh and it made me suck in a shaky breath. "I love you. I love you."
"There you go." Tanya appraised.
I couldn't take anymore, so I decided, it was either now or never.
Once I had everything out of my room, which I managed to do soundlessly, I heard Tanya's heels click on the floor towards the door. "Call me, later. I wanna hear how it turns out." Then the door shut.
I heard his footsteps coming near my room and when his perfect face saw me standing in the door way with my bags, I could of sworn I'd seen something there...something that made me feel seventeen again. But now, it was replaced with a hollow look. His smile fell and his mouth opened to speak, "What's going on--"
I cut him off, "We can't just go on like this, say the word we'll call it quits. I'm going, I can't stay. I won't love you either way." I choked out. I was lying through my teeth. And it hurt. I could almost feel my knees give out, but I managed to stay upright.
I couldn't bear to see his face. It was probably filled with relief, with excitement. But, when I finally looked up to see him, his knees gave out and he crumbled to the floor. His eyes an easy emotion to read: pain. No.
"Why? Bella, I--"
"I want you to be happy with Tanya." I forced a smile, my eyes fluttered shut when I saw his now amused face. "She's better for you then I can ever be. I see the way your face lights up when you see her...when you talk about her." I squeezed my eyes shut. "I just need someone to be there for me, I can't...I can't do this. And believe me when I say this is my fault. I've been a lousy wife, companion...friend." I walked toward the door, my luggage in tow.
I could feel his warm body following me. "You don't know what you're talking about. Tanya, yeah, she's a friend. A friend."
I nodded, my lips pursed and my anger rising by the minute. "You don't have to lie anymore, keep going back to her. She'll keep you satisfied, and you won't have me in the way to feel guilty about it." I opened the door, but Edward immediately slammed it shut with his palm.
He towered over me. "You think I'm having an affair?" He spat and rolled his eyes. "You're obviously blind, dear. She's married, married to my cousin. We're family."
I couldn't think of anything to say, so I crossed my arms over my chest. "You're so stubborn!" He yelled. "I know I've been rotten to you for the past years. I've been focusing too much on my career than the most important thing in my life." his big, warm hands enveloped mine. "I've always loved you. When I asked you to marry me, when we eloped, I knew this was forever. Then suddenly we were faking the perfect life. We didn't talk for months. But, now I have my job, and all I want is my...my best friend, my wife."
"You don't need to make up lies to make me feel better." I opened the door again but he slammed it shut again. "Edward, if you haven't noticed, I won't love you either way." I looked away, trying despretly to believe my words.
"Do you really believe that? Do you really believe that if you walk out that door you'll never want to see me again? Because I know for a fact, that if you walk out that door, I won't let you get past the elevator doors of this apartment."
Traitor tears filled my eyes. "You can't keep me here. If I don't want you, you have to let me go. You know you will." His hands dropped mine and his own eyes were moist and glistening.
"If that's what you really, truly want. Then walk out that door. I'll never bother you again. But, I will love you either way." He turned and walked to the couch, his head in his hands. His fingers pulling at the disorganized mess that lay atop his head.
I wasn't sure if I could believe his words, but somewhere inside, I wanted to.
But nothing or no one stopped me from walking out the door.
-:-
EPOV
I was an arrogant fool. I took everything and everyone I loved for granted. I was so focused on my career I failed to notice this woman giving me everything. Until one day, I noticed she didn't even try anymore. Every morning or every night - depending on my shift - I'd receive a kiss before work. It was something I lived for. But...since...my selfish mistakes got in the way, I'd hardly receive a nod. Eventually, we weren't even sleeping in the same beds. She moved into the guest bedroom, and I didn't do anything about it. I let it happen. I let the woman I love slip through my fingers right before my very eyes. I'd stay up at night, trying to figure out how to be a better person, how to be better for her. Of course all of my ideas didn't follow through.
And then, Tanya Denali, my cousin-in-law moved to Washington from Alaska, to work at my hospital.
Sure, she had had shown intrest, but I respectfully declined like the man my mother raised me to be. She got the hint and found love in my cousin. They married while Bella and I were...were not talking. Since then, Tanya and I had gotten closer. I helped her understand my cousin better. She helped me realize what I was unconsciously giving up; Bella.
She came over one night, for a visit. Wanting to meet Bella. And when they met, Bella looked down and apologizing to have to rush to her room to finish work. I noticed she'd been doing that a lot lately.
While Tanya and I sat down on my couch, I asked her how I should win Bella back. How I should approach the topic. She told me I needed to start off with telling Bella how much I loved her and needed her. "You love her, you know you do. Just say it come on."
I smiled, closing my eyes, imagining Bella in front of me. Her brown eyes shining, her small hands enveloped in mine - and the words suddenly flowed. "I love you. I love you. I love you." I burst into laughter. I felt ridiculous, I felt elated, I felt over-joyed.
"There you go." Tanya hugged me. "I knew it! You better tell her, she'd be a fool not to love you back." Suddenly, she reminded me of my sister Alice.
I nodded and she said she had to get home. I couldn't wait until I was alone with Bella I didn't care or listen to what Tanya was saying anymore.
I smiled a goofy grin, and walked toward Bella's room.
I looked up, and saw her bags in her hands and I was immediately confused. "What's going on--"
What she told me next killed me. She said she couldn't love me either way - that she couldn't stay. That she was done.
Pain. No.
I decided to beg. But she cut me off and rambled about something ridiculous. How could she possibly think I was having an affair with Tanya? Tanya? Sure she was pretty. But she was so artificial. She wasn't real, she wasn't beautiful, she wasn't Bella.
I tried to explain how I much I needed her, but she cut me off again and told me she still couldn't love me.
Then, it all happened in a blur.
I confessed that I still loved her, but she still walked out the door without a backward glance. And she was right, I would let her go. Because I cared too much for her well-being. I wouldn't force her to love me. I couldn't, it was so...wrong, animalistic. So...genius?
No. No.
It wouldn't work anyway, she was too smart.
God, what am I thinking?
I couldn't let her slip away from me again, I couldn't lose her again. So I followed her.
-:-
BPOV
I found myself in the airport. On my way home to Phoenix. To get away from this dreary place.
I tried desperately not to think of him. His voice, his hair, his mouth, his eyes...
Dammit.
Christmas trees, grapes, cars, sunglasses, forest, yellow, blue, bronze...emerald.
"Shit." I cursed loudly, earning glances from people in line ahead of me. I blushed.
Suddenly someone grabbed out of line, I squeaked and looked up to see...
...my husband? Edward?
"Get your hands off of me!" I yelled and he turned his piercing gaze on me. His eyes were dark, his hair was tangled more so than when I saw him last. Was it really this morning? "What are you doing!?"
And why isn't anyone helping me? Hello! I'm being kidnapped...by my husband...but by a man nonetheless!
I closed my eyes, refusing to look at his determined features. His perfect jaw, his dark eyes, his mouth set in a grim line--
"Bella, look at me." He ordered and I refused to listen. My back was pressed against a cool surface. I was in a bathroom? I opened my eyes and saw his hand reach over to lock the public bathroom. "Look at me." he demanded through clenched teeth. I obeyed.
And then, his mouth was on mine. Moving forcefully, his tongue forced my mouth open, I obliged. He ran his tounge along my teeth, and then stroked my tongue with his. I moaned. He chuckled, running his hand through my hair. "Do you feel that?" He whispered and thrust his hips forward. I groaned and pulled him closer to me. And just like that, we were those seventeen year old kids again. Rubbing and touching and moaning and groaning.
"Are you going to leave me again?" He asked breathlessly, his mouth on my neck. "Are you?"
"N-no." I stuttered to my embarrassment and made a growling type noise when he laughed. I pulled his mouth back to mine. "But I still fucking hate you." He roared with laughter once again. "I hate you so much. I hate you..."
His mouth moved forcefully against mine and hips were rocking together. We were shamelessly humping each other against the women's bathroom wall in an airport.
"I love you." He smiled against my lips and I shivered. His warm body was tucked into me, fitting me perfectly.
"You're...you're..." I couldn't finish my sentence.
"I'm...?" He hedged and moaned when I bit his swollen lip.
"You're relentless." I whined. "But...I love you."
And just like that clothes were being ripped off and thrown to the ground. They couldn't get off fast enough. Then, someone started to bang on the door. "What's going on in there?" I giggled and gripped Edward's jaw bringing it to my mouth and kissed him before ripping off his shirt.
"Damn, we'll have to make this fast." He pulled away. I whimpered as he began to unbuckle his pants. "By the way, I wasn't having an affair."
My head snapped up. "What are you talking about?"
He huffed. "I wasn't sleeping with Tanya. She's my cousin's wife. I haven't done anything...like that...since we ya'know..." I loved that he was blushing when he mentioned us "gettin' down"(doin' the nasty, the deed, freak-a-leakin'...) but he could easily ravage me against a wall with no restrictions. I love this man.
I laughed. "You're amazing." His cheeks tinged a darker shade of red.
"Stop it, dear, you're making me blush..."
And indeed he certainly was when I reached for his pants. "I love you."
"I love you," I smiled and kissed him full force on the mouth, and bit his pink swollen bottom lip, "ouch! I like this side of you...I still like your innocent side it makes my fantasies very...interesting." He raised his eyebrow and smirked.
I laughed before clawing at him and wrapping my legs around his waist, "but you love me either way.
-:-
A/N: Please review, I need to know if my writing is good enough :) thanks!