Voldemort's Plans

Chapter 1

Nick Jr.-We Shall CONQUER!!!!!

A/N: I don't own ANYTHING! NOTHING!!!! ZIPPO, ZIP, NADA, THE BIG EMPTY!

Ok, I'm done.

Snape hurried to Dumbledore's office, carrying several loose-leaf pieces of parchment. There was no time to waste. He had just come back from a Death-Eater meeting. Voldemort had given each Death-Eater his plans for taking over the world. Those pieces of parchment contained very valuable pieces of crucial information that must be taken to Dumbledore immediately.

Snape reached Dumbledore's office. "Ah, Severus," smiled Dumbledore. "You have the plans, I trust?"

"Yes, Headmaster," said Snape, and handed the pieces of parchment to Dumbledore.

"Hmm, let's read this together," said Dumbledore, setting the parchment on his desk.

Dear Death Eaters,

Here is the complete list of my plans. Please read thoroughly and comply. We must take action on these offenders immediately!    

CHAPTER 1

NICK JR.-WE SHALL CONQUER!!!

Snape looked a Dumbledore wearily. Dumbledore looked extremely amused and continued reading.

The following Mudblood television programs must be shut down immediately…death to children entertainment! RAAAAAHHH!

· Dora the Explorer

This show is pure evil! Whenever I watch I feel like killing everyone in that box they are trapped in! This would be a good torture device! Swiper the Fox would be a good addition to the Death Eater family! Plus that extremely annoying monkey! Kill the girl and everyone else and convince the monkey and the fox to join our side! THE BOUCNING BLUE BALL MUST DIEEEEEEE!

· Oswald

DIE EVIL OCTUPUS! That dog of his is extremely annoying! WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS SO HAPPY AND SINGING ALL THE TIME?! MWAHAHAHA! THEY SHALL DIE! That penguin is so gay! He shall die also! Death to the baby butterfly! Death to the twin eggs! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Snape looked at the parchment, scared.

· Bob the Builder

That theme song is extremely annoying! ALL OF THEM MUST DIE! BWAHAHAHAHA! Ask Spud if he would like to join our ranks! He is pure evil! He would make a good Death Eater!

· Blue's Clues

Possibly the most evil of all Nick Jr. cartoon shows! Joe and Steve must DIE! All of them must DIE!!! DIEEEEEEEE BLUE AND MAGENTA! And Steve is NOT going to college; he is going to the unemployment line, then his grave! R.I.P! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

So, faithful Death Eaters, please do as I asked. The one who kills the most of these evil creatures shall receive the gift of their dreams!

YER BOSS!

Voldemort

        Snape was now officially freaked out. He wasn't sure he wanted to continue.

        Dumbledore gave him a look, then peeled the first piece of parchment off and put the second one on top of it.

        "Let's continue, shall we?" said Dumbledore. Snape agreed, but rather reluctantly.

A/N: So, how was the first chapter? Hate it? Love it? Review!