I felt frozen. Numb. Stunned. I just stood there, emotionless. I blinked slowly, letting the tears fall. The rain began to pour. Suddenly, as if a tsunami slammed into me, my body collapsed as emotions came over. I screamed, I cried, I pounded. I banged my fists against the wall, against the floor, against my dresser.

I ripped up pictures. I threw my phone. I tore apart gifts. I slowly watched my world fall apart. I watched everything I know burn away. I watched everyone I know abandon me. It was amazing, actually. How just a few short sentences ruined me. Am I really that weak?

"Can no one hear me? I am I invisible? Have I been shunned? Am I being shunned? Can the angels hear me? Does god hear my cries? Am I alone? Does my mother even care? Does my father care? Did my friends care? Did my teachers care? Did my love care? Did my family care? DOES ANYBODY CARE?!"

I was finally out of it. I collapsed once more, thudding against the hard ground. It's hard. I slammed my head, slowly, in a steady rhythm. Slow, and steady. Then I heard soft little footstep's.

"Momma?"

My world lit up. Bursts of color all around my eyes. I no longer felt the despair. I could feel my emotions. I could feel my heart, beating, pounding. I could hear every little thing I've told, all the comments and flattery.

"Momma, where are you?"

I slowly stood up, watching my babies' eyes light in excitement.

"Momma!"

My babies launched to me, as I spread my arms. They landed in my grasp, smiling and laughing. The laughter spread out so much. I felt my world stitching back together. I landed on the floor again, finding it soft, not hard. The children laughing in my arms.

I hugged them, squeezed them. I kissed each of them on the face many times, made funny faces. Which made me think about.

Is losing one love worth getting another?

Is it worth bringing another into the world at the cost of losing a friend?

Is it worth having your family turn their back on you, because of you carrying life?

Is it worth it carrying life inside you, but losing your own life?

Is it worth friends and family? Love?

Is it worth watching the days go by, thinking about how that life inside you will never meet its family?

Is it worth losing everything?

If you love them… It is worth it.

~ Author's Note ~

For those wondering, I wrote this in honor of my sister. She had a boyfriend, who raped her. At just 14 years old, she became pregnant. She wanted to die. Developed depression. Being bullied and picked on. She wanted to kill herself. But I wouldn't let her. It wasn't worth it. Giving up life because of others opinions. I myself was like that. I wanted to kill myself, to die. I had cut myself every day. For every mistake. Then realization hit me. I started to learn about God, about healing. I met some people like me. I met the boy I'm currently dating and in love with. If I was asked is it worth it? Giving up life for another life, it is, but for other people's opinions, not at all. I wanted to get my message out there, suicide solves nothing. Love solves everything.