Why? Why did she hide them all the time? Those feelings for her co-worker and partner...always there but always hidden. Always...
She came close to telling Clark how she felt, but she was afraid that when she told him their friendship might fall. And though she might not have expressed it, their friendship was just about the only thing she lived for these days.
She was sitting on her bed in her apartment, writing in her diary, she wrote:
"Dear diary, I have feelings for Clark Kent, I know that, but why I can't tell him about them? Thats a whole different story. What if our friendship falls? What if he doesn't feel the same? What if? What if? I'm usually not the one to worry, but this is seriously important."
Just then, her cellphone rang her favorite song. Truly Madly Deeply.
She let it ring for a few seconds to here the song, then picked it up and answered it.
"Hello?" she said.
"Hey Lois." Clark Kent's voice said through the speaker.
"Smallville? In what do I owe the pleasure?" she said sarcasticly.
"Well, I was wondering if you knew about the reporter party this friday." he said.
She perked up, then said,
"Reporter party?"
"Yes, some people that are worthy of the front page are gonna be there." he said, reeling her in. "I called to tell you know because you left work early, someone told us after you left...I was meaning to ask you, why did you leave work early?" he said curiously.
"Oh...um..." she stammered. The real reason she left is because she couldn't bare to be in his presents any longer without him knowing how she felt. But she didn't dare say that. Instead, she said,
"I wasn't feeling well."
There was a hint of worry in his voice as he said "Are you okay?"
"Of course, my stomach was just a little..." she said, trying to think of the right word.
"Upset?" he finished for her.
"Yeah...upset..." that was the truth, only it wasn't her stomach that was upset...
"Well, will I see you there?"
"Of course! You know me, I won't miss out on a chance to get a front page story!" she said, maybe a little too excitedly.
"Alright then, see ya tommorrow Lois. Bye." he said, almost......sadly?
"Bye smallville." she said, then shut her phone and set it on her night table.
Was he...sad? It sure sounded like it. she thought.
What was she going to do? Tell him how she felt? Not tell him and live with the regret of not having him in her life? No, she HAD to have him in her life.