I'm still not over Leonard's death in season 1, so I wrote this based on a picture I came across last week.
When Sara gets back to the ship after the occulus explosion she finds a sticky note written by a certain crook. Captain Canary.
I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.
P.S. I Love You
Sara has never been one to let her emotions show, emotions meant that you could be hurt, the league taught her as much, love is weakness and weakness meant death. So when the smile of a certain crewmate went from being annoying to charming, she grew worried. When she could recall exactly where a deck of cards would be at any stage during the day, she became concerned. When banter became flirting, her apprehension swelled. But she didn't stop it, because for the first time since her death she wasn't scared or blood thirsty, and for some reason that terrified her even more.
Throughout everything she didn't want to stop it.
It wasn't until after he pulled his cold gun on her, that she realised how many opportunities she had to put whatever they had on pause. And by that stage she was too far gone, she was already falling hard and fast for a similar, supposedly cold-hearted Legend. But there was a mission, and missions always came before personal feelings, so she pushed whatever the crook and her had to the side, she would deal with it later she told herself, after this mission she would talk to him. Who knows maybe she could put the past behind her and start building a future, a future with him in it.
But she never did. And that is what probably hurt the most, because they weren't partners, yet they weren't just friends. They were almost so much more, he was her almost, she decides, and if he wasn't the best and the worst almost in the universe then she would be damned. Because they were so close to having a future, and that hurt like hell, because she would never get to tell him that maybe, just maybe she had dreamt of what the future might hold for him and her too.
P/B
"He was a hero," she tells the crew. Because that's what he was a thief, a crook, a hero.
P/B
In the following days she does what she has been trained to do, she kills, and it is merciless, murdering her enemies, but first making them beg, making them feel the pain that she isn't allowed to yet.
Finally Savage dies, and the entire team mourns Leonard Snart, but not Sara, at least not openly. Ray, Kendra and Jax have a good cry, Rip and Stein talk about it, Mick drinks away his feelings and Sara buries hers, until Mick bumps into her in the hallway.
"I can't" she mumbles when Mick presses a particular ring into her hand. He knows that Snart told her about the significance of the ring, and by the way that her walls are crumbling, she needs it more than he does.
"Doesn't mean you shouldn't Sara" he tells her, using her first name for the first time since meeting her all those months ago.
She only nods.
She heads back to her bunk, she won't let anyone see her in this time of weakness, because, after all, what she felt was love.
"Gideon shut the doors and don't let anyone in" she tells the AI.
"As you wish, Miss Lance."
Her eyes find a deck of cards.
He couldn't be gone, he was too stubborn to just be gone, he left them, he left her. No. This isn't real, she is just dreaming, another nightmare just like the ones she has every single night, but if she was, why hasn't Leonard woken her up yet? It hits her, like a punch in the face, he's gone.
"Please, I'll do anything. Please, he can't be gone. Let me die, take me." She screams, sinking to her knees. "Take me instead, I deserve it" her voice a mere whisper, resigned to the fact that he's gone. She sobs and screams and lets out every emotion that she has kept in. She throws things, stabs a few more objects, but mostly she cries and screams and begs the past to change itself. She comes to a sudden halt.
Her eyes find an innocent yellow sticky note stuck to her staff.
The sticky note isn't what pulls Sara out of her desperation, no, it's what it says. She and Leonard are always leaving each other sticky notes, much like cards, it's their thing. They usually hold jokes or sarcastic remarks, even little reminders, this one isn't any of those things.
P.S. I never told you, but I was falling in love.
She sucks in a deep breathe. He knew that this mission could be his last. He wanted a future with her, he had thought about it more than what he let on earlier with his me and you speech. He wanted a future with her, not the White Canary, not a former member of the League of Assassins, not an assassin, but with Sara Lance, even if she was all of those things. Damn, if they weren't the closest almost in all of history.
"I was too" Is all the assassin whispered, finally acknowledging what she had felt for the thief. "But I wasn't falling, I was already there."
She reaches for the sticky note, taking it off her staff, running her fingers over the uncharacteristically delicate words. And for the first time in days, she smiles, remembering the day she first sore his writing, it was neat and delicate cursive, much like hers, but his had more curves where she had more flourishes.
P/B
When Mick wakes her up some time later, against Sara's earlier instructions, he finds her holding a yellow sticky note against her chest. Together they clean her room wordlessly, Sara, never letting his last words out of her grasp.
In a few weeks Mick will ask her what's so special about that piece of paper that Sara always has in her back pocket and Sara will just shake her head, because it still hurts so much, and Mick knows about their almost so he lets it slide.
It's not until years later, when Sara finally loses a battle, ending her life, that his boss's last confession becomes known, Mick decides that he's happy for them, because even all these years later Sara still carried that burden, but now they're together, and hopefully in another life they will get a better future together than an almost. Hopefully the world will be kind enough to give them both that much.
A/N Please review it helps so much.
I accept requests for any of the books/movie/shows that are on my profile page (including Legends of Tomorrow and Captain Canary).
WhiteWolf74 xx