I've been taking a break from my other story "You'll Be Back" so I wanted to write some oneshots! If you have any theme or drabble suggestions, feel free to comment them. :) I actually like this concept more than I expected to, so if enough people want me to make this a chapter fic, I just might? Please let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy!

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Cartman would never have been so ecstatic about being part of something that just screams gay.

That is, until he discovered that he's gay, and to top it off, his sexual awakening was none other than his once worst enemy.

Kyle, the know-it-all Jew.

Actually, Mel Gibson was probably his first ever hint towards his possible realization of his sexuality, but that's beside the point.

His younger self must be so disappointed and entertained at how he turned out.

Damn the beautiful, kind, dorky motherfucker for doing this to him…

"Fatass, you still here? I know you must be starving, but lunch was twenty minutes ago, so do try to abstain from daydreaming about food for a while."

Flaring his nostrils, Cartman smacks Kyle's waving hand in front of his face, causing the latter to let out an amused snicker. The brunette maintains his practiced frown with precision. He turns his neck and gaze elsewhere to hide his burning cheeks.

"Shut your stupid face, Gayspeare."

Eyes still staring anywhere but at the redhead, Cartman's lips briefly twitch upwards at the sound of Kyle's continued laughter gracing his ears. His smile fades as soon as Cartman realizes its presence on his lips.

Why does everything this adorable bastard do make him so flustered?

Cartman has had to exert infuriating amounts of self control over his whining emotions and needy hormones, both desperate to call Kyle his. The two's hatred for each other dissipated throughout the years, their relationship becoming more amiable with age. Now sophomores, Kyle even refers to them as friends, which Cartman is hasty to dismiss.

After all, he wants to be far more than friends.

So much more…

A hand snakes onto Cartman's shoulder, and to his shame, he jumps like a cat that's been dunked in water.

"Dude, fuck you! You're gonna make me mess up this goddamn tree, idiot." Cartman flips back long enough to the hovering teen to drink up the immediate change of his expression. The grin on the redhead's face is heavied down into a slightly agape, sullen pout and the light dancing in his already vibrant eyes dims. Oddly satisfied and apologetic over Kyle's sudden regret, Cartman turns his back once again and continues to dab with his brush at the nearly complete forest background with delicate, calculated movements. The fingers drop off his paint stained shirt, the rest of the warmth within Cartman's body fleeing with it.

"I'm sorry, I know you're working really hard on this. It means a lot to me." Kyle's voice is low and honest, its vulnerability causing a shift in Cartman's lowered form. Cartman adjusts his bent feet in an attempt to recalibrate his disturbed inner cogs, and his breath hitches at the sound of Kyle taking several steps back. Panic shoots violently through the brunette's body at the thought of the other leaving. He rotates his toes so hastily that he almost knocks over the bucket of paint beside him. Instead of being faced with Kyle's retreating frame, his eyes widen at the sight of the redhead gazing up appreciatively at the entirety of his painting. "You've outdone yourself, Cartman. This is gorgeous."

'You're gorgeous.'

The words want to escape Cartman's mouth so badly that he bites his lips to hold them in. Cartman moves one of his knees onto the stage and brings the other towards his chest to balance himself yet again.

"Whatever, your stupid play better be worth all this effort."

Kyle's smile perks back up at the statement, and Cartman returns it with an impish grin.

"Man, I sure hope so. The absolute worst part of my first opportunity to direct being a bust would be that your wonderful setup goes to waste on my shitty performance."

The redhead's hands uncross themselves and are shoved into his pockets. The recently returned glee is lost from his face once more, his expression hardening in serious contemplation. A dull ache spreads through Cartman's body with each heartbeat from the somber image.

"Your play is going to be fucking amazing, okay? Don't you dare doubt it. The theatre department chose yours outta a hell of a lot, and they wouldn't bother running and funding it if it was crap."

Kyle goes quiet at the sincerity of Cartman's words and expression. Mind made up, the redhead recalls why he came over to bug his longtime frenemy in the first place, knowing that the other hates being bothered while working. With a quick breath out, Kyle moves next to Cartman, lowering himself to the floor beside him.

"Cartman, there's something that I have to tell you. I've been thinking about it for a while now, and, well, there's someone I like, and I finally want to confess to him, but we've been friends for so long that I don't know if he would ever see me as anything more and the last thing I want to do is ruin what we already have, and…"

A finger is pressed into his running lips. Kyle goes silent, perplexed as he and Cartman stare into one another's depths.

"You can stop flapping your lips, I get what you're saying. I'm totally stoked that this is happening right now, but I can't say that I didn't expect it. In retrospect, I guess you have been making your true feelings pretty obvious recently…"

Kyle's veins freeze at the other's bluntness about his crush, but he too shouldn't be so surprised. Cartman has always been an acute observer, and while he may not be like most people, he sure as hell understands them better than anyone. It's how he was able to manipulate so many when they were kids…

"So, you'll help me come up with a way to ask out Stan?"

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I was going to write a more satisfying, wrapped up, emotional ending, but I thought this way funnier, sorry~ XD