Disclaimer: If I owned DBZ Gohan wouldn't be so nerdy, Hercule would die very painfully, and I would NEVER allow the GT people to put a Ugly-as-Hell mustache on Vegeta. Those three corrections to DBZ/GT would be made by me IMMEDIATELY! So if you ever wanna gimme the rights to DBZ, Akira…
Note: One-shot, might turn into a two, or three random, don't take it seriously. I also tried to edit this... I forgot to hit the save button... Took a while bu now it's fixed...
Piccolo liked to keep his space… But some people didn't understand that. Namely, Goku. Goku would frequently visit him at the look-out, asking to train with him and/or Uub, or asking for Dende, for Kami-knows what (Look Maw! I made a funny!). The funny thing was, he NEVER visited his wife… For he was supposedly training "The Next-Generations Hero", but it was A-O.K. to visit a green alien or two (Piccolo suspected it was to avoid hearing loss, as his he learned that ChiChi was even louder, when you lived with her).
Today was one of the days when Goku wanted to train alone with him, somewhere out in the middle of nowhere (Is it just me? Or is this starting to sound like a yaoi…). And how he LOATHED being alone with Goku… But for some reason, he tolerated it. Right now they were taking a water break, drinking out or a nearby river. The water today tasted funny, like it was polluted… But this was the middle of a forest… No one lived around here for miles. This was rather troubling to Piccolo, as he deeply cared about the environment because he was green (I didn't intend this to be a Pun…)
It wasn't troubling for long however, because when he took his head out of the water, he noticed Goku… With his pants down… Taking a piss… Piccolo shot up, prepared a ki-blast, and burnt his tongue until it was nothing more than ashes. Still not satisfied, Piccolo was preparing to incinerate his head in the name of sanitation, until Goku noticed and looked at him, like he was a dumbass. Of all people, the dumbest person he knew, looked at him like he was retarded! Piccolo would have been furious if not for the water-piss-ash-vomit that came out of his throat. Goku was really worried about his friends sanity. He walked over to him, and prepared to pick up a hunched over Piccolo and carry him to Dende, but Piccolo regained some of his wit.
"GOKU, YOU DON'T PISS IN A RIVER WHEN SOMEONES DRINKING OUT OF IT!" Piccolo cap-raged, sounding oddly like a certain women he loathed.
"So I should piss in it before they drink?" Goku said quizzically while furrowing his eyebrows.
Piccolo just stared at him, rather blankly. Until he started charging up a Special Beam Cannon. Goku, however was not worried, as Piccolo was to weak to even relatively damage him. However Piccolo knew this, but he also knew one weak spot a Saiyan has BESIDES his tail. The beam was finished charging and Goku was bracing himself, expecting it to go up his left nostril like LAST time. Instead Piccolo fired the beam low… REALLY low… It hit Goku right where it counts…
"THAT'S ANOTHER ADVANTAGE THE NAMEKIAN ANATOMY HAS OVER A SAIYAN'S BIATCH!" Piccolo screamed before blasting away to visit another Saiyan, or rather, his wife.
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Bulma felt eyes boring into her from behind. Not the eyes she usually felt… These ones seemed… Taller… Figuring it was just Vegeta trying to be tall, wearing the stupid Go-Go Boots he ordered off the internet (Sorry Vegeta…) So she started doing a little dance, a rather sexy dance. Never bothering to turn around, she started taking off her pants… Until she heard a voice…
"What in the name of a Green-Midget God are you DOING!" (I like to think of Dende never growing up… He just looks creepy when he gets taller…)
Bulma turned around and saw Piccolo… Her face turned red from the combination of embarrassment and new form of Alcohol and Marijuana she had been inventing. She started to think of a way to explain herself, not wanting to tell him she thought he was Vegeta. But Piccolo interrupted her by asking her a question.
"Where's the time machine?"
"Wh-Why?"
"I want to see if I can UN-SEE that!"
Piccolo said clearing embarrassed and furious, "I also want to go back in time and stop my father from committing his heinous crimes…" Piccolo half-assed. Even though it was clearly a lie, Bulma didn't notice because of how crunk she was.
"Check in my dad's basement, right next to the people he killed- I mean… Next to the dead bodies that were donated to him…"
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Piccolo had traveled back in time, the time where Goku was about to kill his father. Looking around he was lucky he landed right next to Goku… Or rather Un-Lucky for Goku blasted the Time Machine to bits, thinking he was one of the Demon Kings minions…
"Goku! You pissed IN MY WATER! IN THE FUTURE!"
Even the young, naïve Goku made a WTF face, but that was quickly wiped away with a small ki-blast, which left only his skull. King Piccolo, who had been watching with a WTH face (Not to be confused with the WTF face) started to approach Piccolo.
"Who the he-" He was cut off by a ki-ball to the face, similar to the one Goku got, which killed him instantly too.
"Oh shit… Sorry dad…" Now that his main task was over he started thinking about how the hell he was gonna get home… But then a sinister grin crossed his face. Who said he HAD to go home? He could rule the world. No one was strong enough to stop him anyway. And with that, Piccolo set off to the Kings Mansion.
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