Dandelion Seeds
because I continually question what the heck happened to Sorato between Adventure 02 and Adventure Tri and this was the only thing that helped (sorta)
*.*.*.*
"What I'm trying to say is, I think we're better off just being friends."
Blood coursed through her veins cold and heavy. She wanted to say that the confession was unexpected, but she couldn't stop the small voice in her head from telling her that this was bound to happen eventually. Refusing to show any signs of weakness, she willed herself to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over.
"… just being friends," she repeated slowly, finding her voice.
"I just think that… maybe we jumped into this too soon." Averting eye contact, he lowered his head and fixated on a dandelion just past her feet. "I'm afraid that if we keep this up, someone's eventually going to get hurt. We're really young, you know? Relationships at this age aren't meant to last and…"
He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away from her, not bothering to complete his thought.
Too soon? It's been over a year and now he wants to say we jumped into this too soon?
Waiting for him to continue, she allowed a lone tear to escape and hastily wiped it away with the back of her hand.
"…and what?" she prodded.
He spun back around, catching her off-guard with his sudden, intense gaze.
"And I care too much about you for us to fall apart one day."
Not fooled in the slightest, she couldn't help but wonder how many times he was going to let his parents' failed marriage project into his life.
"Who says it has to fall apart?"
Icy eyes narrowed at her fiery ones. "Don't be stupid, Sora. How many fifteen-year-olds do you think end up happily married down the line?"
"So you're ending this because you don't think we're going to get married in the next twenty years?" she exclaimed incredulously.
"Well, isn't that the point of dating?" he shot back. "To find that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with and then marry them one day?"
Her heart sank even further. "You know, Yamato, you could just admit you don't like me anymore. I don't need your crappy excuse that you want to save our friendship."
His face betrayed a flash of emotion, but it was gone as quickly as it came. He took a hesitant step towards her and when he decided she wasn't going to shrink back, he shortened the gap between them and tentatively grabbed her hands.
"Look—" he croaked. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Look, you're taking this the wrong way, I didn't mean it like that." He strengthened his grip on her hands. "Sora, you know you mean so much to me. You're the only person who really understands me, you've made me feel things I didn't even know I was capable of feeling…" he trailed off, playing idly with her fingers. "I just—"
He pulled back and let go of her, his touch still lingering on her hands.
"I'm just not ready for this type of intimacy."
Yamato was waiting for her to respond, but her mind was reeling with so many thoughts that she knew opening her mouth would only result in unintelligible babbling. She hugged her arms across her chest and remained silent.
Sensing she wasn't going to reply, he continued on. "I'm just not good at this whole relationship thing. I don't want to push you away and have you resent me. I can't— I can't imagine not having you in my life and I feel like we're still at the point where, if we cool down now, we'll be able to stay friends in the long run."
She wished the earth would swallow her up whole.
"Sora…"
How can he think we can just go back to being friends so easily?
"Don't you have anything to say?"
She wanted to tell him how crazy she was about him and how happy he made her and how comfortable she always felt around him and how she never, ever thought he would be able to make her feel as small as she felt right now.
"Sora, please say something," he pleaded.
Stretching out, he tried to rest a hand on her arm, but she recoiled at the touch and sidestepped out of his reach.
"I get it."
"Sora—"
"No, I really do get it, Yamato," she sighed wearily. "You think we're too young for this – for us– to get too serious right now. And I understand not wanting to risk losing each other."
She took a deep breath, giving her the courage to say the next few words.
"I just wish you saw more options than 'break up now and stay friends' and 'stay together and slowly implode.'"
He eyed her cautiously, seemingly debating his next move.
"Do you really think we're going to stay together forever?" he asked bluntly.
She wasn't naive.
"No."
"Do you think staying together will make an eventual break-up any easier?"
"There is such a thing as an amicable break-up," she jibed, earning her a fleeting, trademark Yamato smirk.
"Sora, look at me and tell me that you truly believe that the longer we stay together, the easier a break-up will be," he challenged, intensifying his gaze.
It was then that Sora remembered how Yamato had an uncanny ability to get others to see his way with very little effort. She couldn't deny his logic, yet she still struggled to find the exact words to explain why this whole thing felt so wrong. She wished her mind would say what her heart wanted her to.
Maybe he's right.
Looking down at the ground, she conceded defeat with two words.
"I can't."
A gust of wind blew between them and she watched as dandelion seeds billowed haphazardly across her shoes. All she could think about was how wrong everything felt.
Sora eventually raised her head and stared off to the side to avoid his piercing blue eyes.
"So now what?" she said, shrugging her shoulders. "We just pretend like nothing happened? That all of our friends will ignore the fact that we dated for a year and everything will go back to the way it was before?"
"I'm not saying that it won't be hard at first," he admitted. "We'll obviously need time and space, or whatever. But we have some really understanding friends and I don't think they'll make things weird as long as we don't," he stated optimistically.
Make things weird. She was astounded how he could downplay their relationship so easily already.
"Then that's that," she concluded, strangely devoid of emotion.
They looked at each other for what felt like ages. Taking in what she figured to be her last few moments alone with him, she studied the lines of his face. She admired the way his hair fell artfully in front of him, drawing attention to his high cheekbones. She eyed his lips and tried not to think about pressing up against them one last time.
She wondered if he was just as guilty of prolonging their eventual parting as she was.
Abruptly, her ringtone thundered from her pocket causing the two of them to jump. She reluctantly fished out her phone to see who had chosen such an inopportune time to reach her.
"Taichi," she indicated, letting it ring.
"You can take it. I should get going anyway, I have rehearsal soon," he said over the music. The light-hearted melody was unfit for the situation and she found herself wanting to answer it as quickly as possible, if only as an excuse to end the entire exchange.
"Yeah, okay. I guess I'll see you around then."
"Yeah," he murmured. "See you around, Sora."
He gave her one last meaningful look before turning on his heel and she watched as he walked away, taking all of her dreams of finding true love with him. In a last, desperate attempt to retain her dignity, she spun around, refusing to longingly gaze at his receding silhouette.
Returning her attention to her buzzing cell phone, she took a deep, calming breath before answering.
"Hey, Taichi."
For a moment, she heard nothing.
"…what's wrong?"
"Nothing, what's up?"
"You sound like death came and punched you in the face a couple of times. What's wrong?"
Snorting into the phone, she merely replied with a simple, "Taichi."
"Where are you?"
"I'm at the park. Why did you call?"
"Unimportant now. The one with the swings or the one with the soccer pitch?"
"Swings. Taichi, why did you call me?"
"Of course you're at the lesser park. Stay put, I'm coming over."
She barely had enough time to register he was coming to see her before she heard the abrupt click of his phone. Her shoulders slumped once she realized she now had to wait for an overprotective Taichi to try and wheedle information out of her that she wasn't ready to talk about yet, not even to him.
I just want to go home…
She sought out her favorite bench and sat with her legs pulled into her chest. Gazing wistfully at nothing in particular, she contemplated calling him back and telling him that something came up, but much too soon, she picked out Taichi's bushy mane cutting through the playground and she begrudgingly accepted her fate.
With his typical goofy grin plastered on his face, he called out, "Hey, Sor!"
Feigning a smile, she returned his greeting.
"Hi, Taichi."
He plopped himself down next to her and draped an arm across the back of the bench, smile faltering slightly he finally got a good look at her. As dense as Taichi could be, she had to admire how well he could read her at times after being friends for so many years.
"Wanna talk about it?" he questioned, not even bothering with niceties.
No.
She leaned her head back using his arm as a pillow and looked up at the clouds.
"Yamato broke up with me."
There was a brief pause, and then she felt his arm tentatively pull her into him so that her head nestled in the crook of his neck. The simple gesture caused hot tears to spill out onto his shoulder. Embarrassed by her sudden reaction, she burrowed further into him and hid from view.
After a few minutes, he offered, "Do you want me to go beat him up?"
She let out a half-chuckle, half-sob and pathetically wiped her face with her jacket sleeve.
"Yes," she rasped.
Knocking her off of him, Taichi shot up and charged in the direction of Yamato's apartment.
"Taichi!" she laughed, grabbing his arm. "I was just kidding!"
Grinning at her, he sat back down and allowed her to reclaim her position on his shoulder.
"You should know by now that I never back down from a chance to give Pretty-Boy a black eye," he joked, and she hummed in agreement.
Another pause.
"Are you okay?"
Sora tensed in his arm, but didn't say anything. He awkwardly rubbed her shoulder, which she found oddly comforting despite his obvious unfamiliarity with physical affection.
"He thinks we'll be able to go back to the way things were and everyone will stay friends like nothing ever happened," she stated after a minute or two.
"Is that what you want?" he asked quietly.
"I don't know, I haven't had the time to think about it," she admitted. She stared off into the distance at a few kids playing on the jungle gym.
Maybe it won't be so bad trying to stay friends, she thought against her will. It'd be better than forcing the group to choose sides and having to dance around him each time we cross paths.
They sat in silence for a few more moments before Taichi gently removed his shoulder from underneath her and turned to face her on the bench.
"I know I'm not good at this sort of thing, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you," he said while rubbing his neck, a nervous habit of his. "And so is everyone else. You're not alone and nobody is going to pick one of you over the other. We're all too good of friends to let something like this separate us, I hope you know."
Taichi was always full of surprises.
"And I'm sure he had his reasons and didn't mean to hurt you; he's not cruel like that. I dunno... I guess I'm just trying to say that not everything works out the way we want it to and sometimes it really sucks. But in the end, all that matters to me is your happiness and—" he stopped suddenly, chocolate eyes searching her auburn ones. She could tell he had something else to say, but he decided against it at the last second and she didn't press him.
"Anyways, I promise, eventually it'll all be okay," he continued. "And if you can't believe me, who else can you trust in this big, bad world?"
Grinning, he stood up and held out a hand to her. "Come on, enough of my lame pep talk. Let's get you home."
Despite being stripped completely bare moments earlier, a small warmth washed over her at Taichi's words. Allowing him to help her up, Sora whispered a small, "thank you," to which he returned with a soft smile.
Slinging an arm over her shoulder affectionately, he pulled her in the direction of her apartment.
"Anytime, Sor. What are best friends for?"
*.*.*.*