Hey there. Full honesty - I have no idea where this is going. Ok, I have an idea, but a really vague one, I have no clue how to get to the disjointed pieces/scenes in my head to connect. So I'm just going to write. Maybe once a day hopefully? (Don't count on that) Because if I just try to think this out like a sensible human being, it'll never happen. And I want this to happen. I think. Who knows. Let's see where this goes, shall we?
- Sunset
Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form.
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It starts off as a mistake. And desperation.
Tears pouring down your face, choking, gasping for all, all you want to be is good enough. You want them to acknowledge you. To run their hands over your head and say, "Good job." "We're so proud of you." That's all you ever really want.
But you're not good enough. And so you don't deserve that.
Curled up on your bed, cocooned in your blanket, you try to muffle your noise, you can't let them hear you. Wrapped up tight, you try to hold the pieces together, keep yourself together, stay in one piece. But there's not enough duct tape, not enough air, it's pointless, why are you even trying?
Didn't you know? You're worthless.
But no. You have to try harder. Tomorrow will be better. You just need to try harder. And one day…you'll get there some day. Right? You just need to try harder.
But it's hard. You're running out of energy. Maybe you really are worthless. So when the whispers enter your ear, you can't help but listen. When the whispers make you promises, you can't help believing in them. There's nothing wrong with a little bit of help.
And at the time, when you agree, it was a mistake, honest. You didn't mean to say yes. Not really. But you did. And there's no going back. Ever. You only have yourself to blame, you worthless piece of shit.
But it'll be okay. Because soon enough, you won't be worthless. You won't be simply "good enough". You'll be amazing. Outstanding.
So what, if the weight in your chest never leaves? It's a small price to pay. You want to be happy, right?