CHAPTER ONE

I took one last look at his beautiful face. I honestly didn't know how I was going to pull this off. I really didn't think I could. It almost killed me when Edward left me, and now I'm doing the same thing to him. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I love him, and I have to keep him and his family safe. No matter what the cost for me. I know I promised myself that I already had my last look at Edward, but I snuck another peek anyway. The light of the festival lanterns reflected off his skin and made his perfect features glow. As I was studying his face he suddenly looked down at me, the corner of his mouth tugged up in that adorable half-smile I knew so well. For a moment I forgot what I was about to do. How in mere seconds, I would break both our hearts, and turn that crooked half smile into a permanent frown. These thoughts must have shown in my face because Edward's look of happiness soon turned into troubled concern and Edward asked " Bella, what's wrong?"

That moment I almost burst into tears. I just wanted to tell Edward the truth, and save us from all the hurt that I was sure that I was about to cause, but I reminded myself of the whole formation of this plan in the first place. I couldn't let Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmet, Edward, and even Rosalie- I couldn't make myself think the word. I just kept my mind on my goal and my eyes straightforward; I managed to respond with a cold, short, "Nothing."

But Edward who knew me much better than to assume that after being reunited with him, and luckily escaping with our lives from the three most powerful vampires ever again asked, more demanding this time " Bella, what's wrong?"

All right, show time, I told myself. Time to speak the words that you'll regret for the rest of your life.

" What would you care?" I muttered loud enough for him to hear.

"What did you say?" he asked.

This, I knew, was merely an expression of disbelief. Seeing as Edward, being a vampire had a fine hearing ability.

"I said, what would you care?" I repeated, this time nearly shouting. " From your past actions of getting involved with me and having me love you, and then just picking up and running off with hardly a word in warning. That just kind of makes me think that you wouldn't care about anything that happened to me anymore. And what really makes me sick is the fact that you knew that you were going to have to leave eventually, you knew how much it was going to hurt me, and yet you still allowed me to come to care for you!" Edward's expression turned from concern, to confusion, to horror. What amazed me though, was that what I said, even though told to lie, was partially true.

"Bella," he said his voice no longer its velvety calm, but stricken with a mixture of grief and fear as if he could anticipate what could happen next, said "you don't really think that, do you? That I wouldn't care about anything that happened to you?"

"Oh this is exactly what I think Edward." I responded loudly. We had stopped walking now and with a quick glance around, I saw that we were now in the parking lot, deserted of people. " I don't want to go through the agonizing pain every time you think you have to protect me. Do you have any idea of how many questiions raced through my head, all of the answers pointing to the fact that you didn't love me after all? That you were just lying all the time?" I spat the words out as if I couldn't wait to be rid of them. " I don't want to have to live my life not knowing if I'm going wake up one morning and find out that you're gone, or if you even wanted to be here in the first place!" Edward started to respond but I cut him off. " If you honestly think that I need protection and that you can't at least tell me the truth about anything then I'm not sure, no, I know that I don't want to be with you anymore." At this I saw an expression of horror cross Edward's face as if his worst fear had come to life. I heard Alice gasp behind me. "Bella, please," his voice surprisingly came out in a strangled wail filled with desperation.

" I'm sorry Edward, but it's the truth." I let my voice become softer now. It was the only comfort I could give him. If only he knew how much this was killing me. I felt the telltale stinging in my eyes warning me that I was going to burst out in tears soon. Miraculously, I was able to keep my eyes dry and my faced etched into an expression of cold hate. I tore my gaze away from Edward's grief stricken face when I heard that perfect but sickening voice in my head.

Good Bella. It encouraged. I'll be there soon, so finish it off.

People had stopped staring as our voices had returned to our normal volumes, but Alice firmly put her hand on my shoulder and said "Bella please, just think about this."

" Oh believe me Alice," I responded, locking my eyes again with Edward's perfect topaz ones. "I have."

"Bella please," Edward whispered. "I can't lose you again. I love you." At this I almost lost all of my control. It wasn't fair what I was doing to Edward. He did love me. More than words could ever say, and I was throwing it all away because I thought I had to be the hero. In fact, it was not only selfish, but also stupid. But it's not stupid, I told myself. It's to keep the Cullen's alive. I can't blow it right now.

Regardless of this thought, looking at Edward's face, feeling Alice's comforting hand on my shoulder, I opened my mouth to tell them the truth. Until the Voice uttered a single word of warning into my head. Bella. Was all that it said.

So, instead of telling them the truth, I said "I wish I could say the same for you, Edward."

We were still staring at each other, my face cold and expressionless, and his deeply pained and twisted with remorse, when the roar of a motorcycle was heard a short distance away.

In just a matter of seconds, a black Harley pulled up behind me. Alice, sensing something wrong, and was it ever, moved from my side and stood next to Edward. Edward's face became frustrated as he, I'm sure, realized that he couldn't read the mind of the figure that just pulled up.

The figure dismounted from his motorcycle and took Alice's place beside me, sliding his right arm around my waist. Edward's expression changed from shock to rage accommodated by an audible growl as the figure took off his helmet and held it loosely in his left hand. Alice's expression changed from pity to shock and just stayed that way.

"Surprised, I see" James said with a smirk.

While Edward and Alice were still staring, their mouths gaping wide, James swept down and planted a long kiss on my lips.