"One Last Breath"
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you
And I'm not afraid
I knocked on the door of the Black's house, wondering if Jake would even allow Billy to answer the door. After a few moments of silence, Billy answered the door.
"Bella," was all he said. I knew that he was disappointed in me, and my decision to join the Cullen family.
"I'm so sorry, Billy," I said.
"He's in his room," was all Billy said back. I walked back towards his room and knocked on the door. There was no answer, but I opened the door anyway. Jake was lying across his bed, staring at the picture that we had taken last year, when Edward was gone. It had been taken a couple days after he had fixed the motorcycles.
"You're here to say goodbye," he said. It wasn't a question. He and I both knew the way this had to end.
"Jake," I said, sitting down next to him. "You know I love you."
"Apparently not enough," Jake scoffed.
"That's not true," I said. Jake turned to me.
"Why are you here anyway?" he asked coldly, reminding me of the time that he had cut me off, after he started phasing.
"I wanted to say goodbye," I said, a tear slipping down my cheek. Jake reached over and pulled my into his arms, which was when I lost it.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture and light
It ends here tonight
"I'll always think of you, Jake. You'll always be in my heart, always inside my head. Whenever there is a sunny day, I'll think of you. You are, and always will be my sun," I said.
"Do you know what I'll think about?" Jake asked me, wiping the tears coming from my eyes. "I'll always think about how you loved me, and how much I loved you, and how it wasn't enough to save you. But I'll also think about the good times. I'll think about how whenever you would get embarrassed, the blood would rush to your cheeks. I'll miss your smile and your clumsiness."
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Jake kissed my cheek.
"I love you, Bella," he whispered. That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. I got up from his lap, and ran out the door.
Hours later, I found myself at the Cullen house. Everyone was there, Carlisle, Esme, Emmet, Rosalie, Alice, and even Jasper. Edward had agreed to be the one to change me, but Carlisle would oversee, just in case. Edward, Carlisle and I went upstairs to Edward's room. The bed was still here from the times where Edward insisted that I be watched. I went to the bed and lay down. Carlisle pulled a needle out of his doctor's case. He and Edward had thought it best that I receive some morphine, at least in the beginning.
"Are you sure?" Edward asked, his face inches from my neck. I nodded; it was all I could do, because although I said that I was sure, fear had frozen me.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture and light
It ends here tonight
Suddenly through the night, there was a howl. A lone, mourn some howl.
"Jake," I whispered. It was all I could manage in my frozen fear.
"He came to say goodbye," I heard Edward say to Carlisle, in the edges of my hearing. All I could hear was that howl, so lonely, so alone.
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me
Calling me, as you fade to black
Through my frozen fear, I felt Edward bite my neck. The burning started immediately, and the screams began. I knew that Jake would hear me, however far he was from the house. Distantly, I recognized that there were two people holding my hand, and my guess was Alice and Edward. My last conscious thought was of Jake, and that was the last thing that I heard, his howling.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet rapture and light
It ends here tonight
Three days later, I woke up. There was a burning sensation in the hollow of my throat, and I was thirsty. The thirst was horrible. I opened my eyes and saw Alice and Edward, still holding my hand.
"Edward," I whispered. He looked up.
"Oh thank god," he said under his breath. Had I still been human, I wouldn't have been able to hear him, but now, his voice was crystal clear.
"I'm thirsty," I said. Edward chuckled.
"We anticipated this," he said. "Emmet went out this morning and brought you back blood. It's downstairs, but, Bella, there is something you should see first." He pulled me out of bed and led me downstairs and to the back door. At the back door, there was a note, along with a bouquet of lilies. I picked up the note and read it.
Dear Bella,
I stayed until I heard the screaming stop. I hope that you will be happy, in your eternal night. These flowers are for your death.
Love, Jake
But he didn't know that in my last breath, my thoughts were of him.