We, that is the Flock and I, were driving back up north from Florida. We had no reason to stay down south after blowing up Itex.
While we were driving (yes I said driving, flying is way too dangerous right now) in a minivan Iggy had hotwired, which by the way I have no idea how he does, a cool sounding song I had never heard came on the radio. The DJ said it was by Metallica, sounded cool. When the singing started though, I almost cried.
I Can't Remember Anything
Can't Tell If this Is True or
Dream
Deep down Inside I Feel to Scream
this Terrible Silence
Stops Me
Now That the War Is Through with Me
I'm Waking up I
Can Not See
That There's Not Much Left of Me
Nothing Is Real
but Pain Now
The song reminded me of nothing but the isolation cell I had been jammed into. "Nothing Is Real but Pain Now." Hell, my life is nothing but pain.
Tears started to swell in my eyes.
Back in the Womb its Much Too Real
in Pumps Life That I must Feel
but Can't Look Forward to Reveal
Look to the Time When I'll Live
Fed Through the Tube That Sticks in Me
Just like a Wartime Novelty
Tied to Machines That Make Me Be
Cut this Life off from Me
"Cut this Life off from Me." All I wanted to do was die. Take away what they wanted, free their lab rat. Stop all this crap.
Now the World Is Gone I'm Just One
Oh God, help Me Hold My Breath as I Wish for Death
Oh Please God Help Me
Believe me, I was praying pretty close to nonstop. All I wanted was to pass on, stop the torture. I just wanted God to let me die.
The song was getting a lot louder now, with a lot more guitars.
Darkness
Imprisoning Me
All That I See
Absolute Horror
I Cannot Live
I Cannot Die
Trapped in Myself
Body My Holding Cell
Holy crap, this song just seemed to increasingly describe my taste of Hell. This just perfectly describes the hours, days, weeks, months, years (I really had no idea how long I was in there) I was in the cell.
Landmine
Has Taken My Sight
Taken My Speech
Taken My Hearing
Taken My Arms
Taken My Legs
Taken My Soul
Left Me with Life in Hell
I had no power, energy, or anything in there. I was just a frickin lump of Max floating in a bunch of gunk. Everything, except the landmine part, just added to the accumulating tears in my eyes.
By the time of the last guitar strip ended, I was balling next to Fang, who was driving. He looked confused (I hadn't told the flock about the cell yet) but still he reached a gentle arm over and placed it on my shoulder, pulling me against his. There I cried, feeling humiliated, telling about the isolation cell and how I got out.
After I stopped, everyone was completely silent until we stopped at some cheap hotel in South Carolina.
