A/N: I feel like Degrassi always skips around a lot of important details. This is one of them.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.
Rated T just to be safe.
+ Eyes on Fire +
The day was, for lack of a better word, hot.
Toronto had been known for it's achingly hot summer days, and Miles and Lola took it upon themselves to go to the park, away from society, to study. But, Miles had another agenda in mind. Lola could tell he was acting funny, but didn't think to ask him about it.
They sat under the large tree in the park on a blanket while Lola read a book, and he nervously looked around.
"So, I feel like I should apologize to you." Miles said suddenly.
Lola looked up from the text book sitting in her lap, she pushed her blue hair behind her ear and gave Miles all her attention, waiting for him to continue. Miles cleared his throat and reached down to pick up a few blades of grass before tearing them in between his fingers and tossing them to the side; it was something he did when he was nervous, and something Lola had caught on to.
Since they had become friends, Lola had grown accustomed to how Miles acted, especially when they were alone, away from people who expected so much of him. He would twiddle his fingers when he was nervous, or look around, sometimes he would bite his lip (which she thought was kind of cute, not that he knew). Normally he would act goofy, serious, loving, passionate, understanding, and he would crack the dumbest jokes ever, but she enjoyed it. Today, he was acting different, and she wondered if it was because he had a lot on his mind, or maybe it was what's on his mind now.
"Remember when… a few months back when you and Tiny were dating," He winced when her face fell at the mention of his name, the hurt in her eyes made him regret mentioning him, "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about this."
When Lola told Miles that he could talk to her about Tristan all he wanted, if he would let her talk to him about Tiny; much to Miles' surprise, she hardly talked about Tiny to him. And, he barely mentioned Tristan to her. They really kept to themselves about their grief and talked to each other about each other, it made them understand each other more which developed their friendship in ways they didn't understand. But on some occasions, he would see the hurt in her eyes and hear it in her voice when she would rant about Shay and Tiny and how much Tiny hurt her.
"No, no it's fine, please continue." Lola said while closing her text book and setting it next to her. Miles looked up at her, the wind suddenly picked up and he tried not to laugh when her hair flew up and she cursed under her breath to keep it down.
"Anyway, remember when I sent you that picture… of me?" Miles blushed a little and Lola couldn't help but think how cute he looked, she tried to remember what he was talking about.
"Oh…Oh! That picture, yeah um… it's okay, I totally forgot about it." Lola reached up and began twisted her curly blue hair between her fingers. A cute blush cascaded across her freckled cheeks and Miles moved to sit next to her under the large tree in the park. He admitted she looked so cute when she blushed and he wondered if it was because of the flashback of seeing his junk on her cellphone screen.
"It's not okay, I was messed up when it happened. Completely drunk off my ass, high off pills." Miles muttered.
Lola frowned. She had heard from Frankie that Miles was abusing alcohol and drugs because his dad was back in the picture, but she never understood the whole story because Frankie had always been so vague, probably because Frankie didn't know all of it herself; she only knew what her mother had told her, Miles was back on drugs and he's going to get help.
The rumors were a little more interesting and she wanted to ask Miles about them, but was always afraid of how he would react.
"How—when you were intoxicated, what made…" She stammered and Miles glanced over at her.
"My mom brought my dad back into the picture. I was a nervous wreck all the time." Miles tried to explain. Lola nodded.
"She told me she wouldn't bring him back 'yet' and when that left her mouth I just couldn't handle it. Then I met Esme, she got me a detention for 'fake cutting her hair' and I missed the family dinner involving him. I couldn't bear to think of being that close to him. I couldn't breathe around him." Miles added.
Lola could tell he was getting a little upset talking about it, but she always told him that talking about things helps people get through everything; he shouldn't keep things bottled up inside. She didn't know what to say though. Her mom left her, she understood his grief, but Miles was abused physically and emotionally by his father, she couldn't dare compare her life with his.
"Is that why Esme gave you those pills, so it will help you relax I guess?" Lola asked. Miles didn't answer, he only nodded.
"I didn't know how much I needed them until my body was craving more and more of it. One day I flushed them because I knew it was getting out of hand. Winston was scared and tried to make me realize I didn't need them and that I should get professional help, but that same day I had a panic attack. I called Esme and she kind of talked me through it. My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode through my chest. I realized then I couldn't really… survive without them. So, I stole more from the girls locker room." Miles said.
He leaned his head back against the tree trunk and sighed heavily.
"She supplied you the drugs instead of helping you through it? She was the enabler?" Lola asked. She wasn't judging and Miles knew that, she was just trying to understand, "the day you came to the cantina and you fell and got knocked out, I heard that you had horse tranquilizer in your system."
Miles nodded. "Yeah, I had a shit ton of drugs in my system, I even tried to get the doctor to prescribe me some pills. Of course it didn't work. He asked me if I wanted to die."
"Did you?" Lola questioned.
"I thought I did. I thought if I did die my mom would be happy, she would have the happy family she always wanted, but I was wrong, obviously. The look in her eyes when the doctor said if I took too much one day it would have been too late. I was so scared at that point." Miles could feel his chest ache at the memory and Lola placed her hand over his in an attempt to comfort him.
Miles had sighed shakily and couldn't help but take her hand in his. They held hands for a brief moment. Lola's hand was so warm in his, and he felt that warm sensation in the pit of his stomach. He closed his eyes and Tristan's face popped into his head; Miles tore his hand from hers and looked away.
"I'm sorry." Miles muttered.
"Don't be, it's okay. I forgive you by the way about sending me that picture. I barely understood then, but I understood now. It did make me uncomfortable but Tiny was the one that made a big fuss about it. I didn't want him to confront you, I knew you were going through stuff. I'm glad you told me." Lola explained.
For once, Miles didn't regret opening up to someone. She didn't judge him, and that's what he feared when talking to anybody about what happened, besides his therapist (who he felt is paid to understand him) Lola made him feel human. Everybody judged him. He knew what they said about him.
"I'm glad we're friends." Miles said, "you don't judge and I… I appreciate that, a lot."
"I have no room to judge. You're a great person, I don't know why people feel the need to say awful things about you. They know the rumors, they don't know what you went through, they don't know why you did what you did. Nobody should be allowed to judge someone just from rumors. You're probably the best friend I've ever had. Besides Frankie and Shay of course." Lola leaned her head on his arm.
Miles stiffened a bit, but soon relaxed. He pushed his nervousness aside and lifted his arm slowly. When Lola caught on to what he was doing she leaned into him and let him wrap his arm around her. This was safe, nothing was happening. Lola could hear his heartbeat against her ear, it was fast and she knew her heartbeat was just as fast.
"You're a great person too, I can see why Frankie loves you." Miles answered.
Lola smiled and she placed her legs over his lap, getting a bit more comfortable on him. They weren't kissing, they weren't doing anything sexual. They were just comforting each other, and part of them knew it felt right, but they both knew it was wrong.
Little did they know, someone had seen them together. And, with their ignorance, that person took it upon themselves to message one person and tell them "Miles and Lola were hooking up".
The news spread like wildfire.
Miles and Lola remained like that for what seemed like hours, in each others arms, not caring about the world.
Not aware that they had rumors starting about each other.
It took me forever to get this right. I tried my hardest to make it seem less wordy, but I feel like I failed ;_; I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are welcome, flames will be promptly ignored :)