author's note: I'm putting my own spin on Swan Queen week, so while you do get a week's worth of AUs, they will all be based on a Taylor Swift song and most likely in a teenaged/college-aged universe. Enjoy, my dears!
The street is wet, remnants of the evening's earlier downpour. Even now the stars are guarded by clouds, too thick to let any of their light through. The streetlights glow yellow in the oil slick puddles and the pavement is cold against Emma's feet. She's only got socks on and the rainwater soaks through the cheap cotton in seconds. She stops running when she hears the door slam behind her for a second time.
(Back when they first met, back when they first started this together, Emma would have kept running.)
Emma tangles her fingers in her hair and turns around, squeezing her eyes shut as more and more tears well up behind them and she can hear Regina's bare feet running towards her.
(Back when they first met, back when they first started this together, Regina would have let Emma run.)
Regina calls Emma's name again and Emma's not sure how many times Regina repeats it, but she opens her eyes and finds that it's raining again and Regina is standing in front of her like she wants to grab onto Emma but the look in Regina's eyes knows that doing so used to make Emma pull away harder. Now Emma doesn't always run, but here they are, two-thirty AM and Emma's still bracing herself for the goodbye.
"Emma." Regina's voice is only a little louder than the sound of the rain against the roof of their house and the other homes on the street.
Lately everything has felt unstable and falling, but in those eyes Emma finds that she can ground herself again.
"Listen." Regina grabs onto Emma's arms and her grip is not tight or light, but firm and secure. Emma wants to fall into Regina's chest and wrap her arms around the brunette, but Emma is shaking and it starts to rain harder but neither of them really register the weather and Regina's gaze is serious and unfaltering.
Emma clenches her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering together and nods stiffly.
"I'll never leave you alone."
Emma's heartbeat slams against her ribcage and bangs around, shaking her entire body even harder. "No—Regina, I..." she starts weakly, their last fight too fresh to become a memory. Things said in anger are usually never all true and regret fills Emma up and tastes like bile under her tongue.
Regina stops Emma simply by continuing to speak. "Do you remember when you held me for the first time?" she asks, though she doesn't expect an answer from the blonde. There are still tears streaming down Emma's face. Regina blinks away the raindrops that have collected on her own eyelashes and continues, "I don't remember why or how we got there, but we found a bench and sat there."
Emma remembers now. She remembers claiming the bench as "their bench" and planting one foot on it while declaring it loudly, just because she knew it would make her girlfriend laugh. It was when things were new between them and "girlfriend" was reserved for pillow talk and privately in her head.
"We watched the reflection of the city lights on the waves. I don't remember how long we were there or our conversation, but I will never forget what I felt. You put your arm around me and I looked at you and-"
And maybe now it's not just rain that's collecting under Regina's eyes.
"I looked at you and it was like I was seeing you for the first time all over again," Regina said.
(The first time she saw Emma was when she was waiting tables part time at a cafe near campus. When they were new like that, Regina felt that if she moved too quickly, Emma would fly away.)
Emma looks down only because she's realized how hard she has been clenching her hands and suddenly the skin on her palms sting and itch and her arms are quaking from being held so rigid for so long. She opens her fingers and closes them around Regina's arms instead, mirroring her. "I remember," Emma acknowledged, her voice hoarse and scratchy.
(Emma had been like a bird that loved to fly, but was afraid of falling. They had both been so jaded, both convinced that nothing, especially a thing like love, would last. Regina had secrets and castle walls guarding them, higher than any Emma had seen before. They had a hard time believing that love even existed for them.)
"I fell in love with you, all over again, sitting there by the water. That night, I started to believe. And I realized that I wanted to keep falling in love with you... all of the time. That's why I remember."
Emma remembers the city lights on the water. She remembers working up the courage to slide her arm fully around Regina, so that there was no mistaking it for something else. She remembers Regina looking at her and remembers finally understanding what people meant when they wrote that they had been speechless, because that was exactly what had happened. Regina's eyes were beautiful, no question, but that night when Regina had turned to face her, her eyes had been so open... Emma had seen everything in them. It had knocked the breath from her lungs, harder than if she had actually fallen. It was like looking into Regina's soul. Looking at her felt like looking at home.
To anyone else, it wasn't a night that anything significant happened. It wasn't the first date, the first kiss or the first time they hashed out exactly what their relationship was and what they wanted it to be. What they hoped it could be. It wasn't the first time they made love or said "I love you" or traded apartment keys.
But, before that night, Emma had never know what home felt like. She'd never had one.
"Emma, I-I've had a lot of things in my lifetime. Expensive clothing, jewelry people would call priceless, antique collector's items, valuable artwork..." Regina says and the rain has subsided and water droplets are dripping off their elbows and chins and sleeves and hair. Regina's lips are pale and she is trembling. Together they slide their hands down and rub fingers over knuckles to maintain warmth.
"But you- Emma. You-" Regina tugs Emma's hands up and clasps them over her chest and it seems to give her the last bit of bravery that she needs. "You are the best thing that's ever been mine." She takes a quick breath afterwards, overcome by a burst of panic that shows up in her voice and the rapid clench of her fingers. "I don't mean it like you are a possession or that I, in any way, own- Oh."
The last word is sighed against Emma's lips. Emma tastes like salt and rain and love and not like goodbyes or leaving. Emma surges forward and kisses Regina again and with it hopes so badly to convey what she feels. Because what she feels like is believing. She feels like she is home. She feels like staying.
"You made me believe, too. You make me believe every day," Emma said and she has opened her mouth to say more but there is traffic on the road and they are still standing in the middle of it and the driver is honking their horn and flashing their brights and Emma and Regina jump over a puddle and onto the sidewalk, not quite laughing but close enough. And then they do laugh because Emma's socks are the color of the asphalt and she's wearing her sweats and a tank top that is soaked through and stretched out and Regina's silk pajama set aren't that much better off and her hair is frizzy along her forehead and they are still holding hands.
Once they're inside and in the bathroom with a pile of towels drying off, Emma stops in the middle of wringing her hair out. "What you said outside. It's true. I am yours." She takes the towel that Regina holds out and lifts the corners of her mouth in the start of an encouraging smile that vanishes the hesitancy in Regina's gaze.
"I've not had a lot of things, Regina. All of my things were borrowed or stolen or temporary or fake. Nothing has ever been for me, meant for me. Not until you. Having you is the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Regina closes the short distance between them. She is still cold and shivering, but this time Emma's lips are warm.
Emma pulls back from the kiss with a real smile and keeps her hand on the back of Regina's neck. Her hair is still damp there at the nape and Emma rubs her thumb there softly. "Regina. Listen," she says and her heart does that thing again because she's almost rendered speechless at the look Regina gives her then, but Emma forges on regardless of those eyes. "I'll never leave you alone." Regina lets out a gasp that sounds close to a sob, covering her mouth with her hand, but her eyes are shining like she's smiling underneath it.
Emma leans her forehead against Regina's. "We're gonna make it. I can see it now."