Its my 19th birthday. I just woke up and im in the shower. The water drips coldly down my skin and beating down onto the tiles. I feel my long dark hair cling to my back and shoulders. The water is so blissful and boyant. I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body. I step cautiously out into my bedroom. I throw on my shirt and jeans and step in front of the mirror and begin to brush my hair. Di-ding. My email tone sounds and i walk over to the desk. Awaiting my first birthday greeting but instead getting this:

Rosemarie,

I must be a coward, but i couldnt tell you in person,

Your adopted. I know its not an ideal greeting for your birthday but your biological mum told me it would be good to start new on at a better age. I figured this was a fairly good age. If you want the truth, here it is. You have an older brother, a younger sister. Your mum, and your dad past away a few years ago.

I cant tell you any details but i was hoping if you could forgive me. I understand if you no longer wish to refer to me as your mum. Happy birthday Rosemarie...janine.

My throat went all hot and tight. My eyes were stinging and my heart was beating in my ears. Adopted. I frowned at the screen and closed it. I held my hand over my eyes and brought my knees to my chest.

She was wrong. If she was a coward then so was the rest of the world. Who would like to tell their 'child' they were adopted. But she was right about one thing. I dont want to refer to her as 'mum' anymore. But i'll worry about that later.

I dried my hair and pulled on my boots. I have friends to face, worlds to defeat and dimitri.

I trudge through the crowded halls of the court feeling more empty than i ever had before. I had a gaping hole in my heart and a free falling pit in my stomach.

"Hathaway." Called a familiar voice. Christian Ozera.

"Happy birthday." Chorused both christian and lissa.

"Thanks guys." I say and hug lissa. I go to hug christian but he holds his hand up.

I raise my eyebrows and he sighs. "Fine."

And holds his arms out. Its a quick, awkward embrace. "You better get used to that."

I roll my eyes as mia and adrian approach.

"Hey little dhampir, happy birthday." Says adrian and gives me a high-five.

Mia jumps up and wraps her hands around my neck.

"Happy B-day, rose." He says and releases my body from her grizzly bear hug.

"You seen Belikov yet." Says adrian, spitting out dimitris surname in...what he would call disgust. But everyone knows its jealousy.

I shake my head in a short answer. I looked around through the crowds for a tall figure with brown hair and dark eyes. But i didnt find him.

I walk past my friends and out into the courtyard. The heat of the sunday morning grazing my skin. It was a nice place, but i couldnt wait to leave. A secluded house or a cozy suburb would be so much nicer than this over crowded, castles replica housing countless snobby royals.

I felt those tears welling up in the back of my eyes. The major sudden impact of my realization that i dont know who my real family is and then my boyfriend skipping out on my birthday and not being here to comfort me.

I walk rapidly to the church. The service hadnt started yet but i didnt come to the church on this fine sunday morning to find dimitri or talk to the pastor.

I went up into the basement: Christian and lissas old hangout.

I crawl into the curved frame of the stainglass window and lift my legs up. The sun causing the colours of the glass to mirror their beauty on my skin as i try to make out the small moving figures throught the flurescent shade of red.

I feel so lonely. Like theres no one in the world experiencing this same emptiness that i am.