The Life and Adventures of AwkwardPikachu
Ft. Danisnotonfire
Book 1 This Amazing Bucket List Is Not on Fire
Hazels POV:
I like a good fairytale as much as the next girl. Okay maybe not that much but there are some aspects that I enjoy. The action and adventure sequences for instance. Not to mention the notoriously bad but awesome villain (cough* Maleficent *cough). See unlike most girls I can't stand the A) Damsel in distress, B)Annoyingly perfect prince charming, and C) *sigh* the happily ever after.
Mostly because A)I am a bit of a damsel in distress myself (but don't you dare call me one to my face, only I can do that), B) Prince charmings tend to be twats (trust me I learned that the hard way hence why I'm single as fuck), and C) there's no such thing as happily ever after. Well, at least for me there isn't.
"Hayz? Hey Hayz," my brother Phil poked me in my side as we played Timore for one of his and Dan's gaming videos. He and Dan were trying to get me to lose because I had yet to jump and scream at a jumpscare and not to mention I was kicking their scrawny assses badly. (Dan couldn't get through the labyrinth, and Phil couldn't ignore the knocking sounds).
"FUCKING HELL WOMAN!" Dan shouted after letting out a not-so-masculine scream at a jumpscare I stumbled onto.
"THAT'S PAYBACK FOR FUCKING WITH ME!" I shouted trying like hell to get the fuck out of this bloody maze so we could be done with this game already.
"Phil your sister is bloody evil," Dan said. I couldn't help but laugh. *Sigh* god I love thisfucking idiot.
In all truth and honesty I cherish these moments when I bond with my brother and best friend. I know someday after I'm gone they'll look back at these moments and smile at the fact that I lived, even if it was only for a short while.
"Relax Dan we're almost done," I said assuringly, giving his back a quick rub.
"Seriously how the fuck are you not scared shitless right now? This is like when we played Five Nights At Freddy's and you didn't even flinch. 'Course that was much worse because it was Five Nights At Fucking Freddy"s!"
Once again I couldn't help but laugh.
"It's my secret Daniel," I said. "For me to know and for you to never find out-OH FUCK OFF MATE!" I said as that bloody bitch in the red riding hood cape jumped out and murdered my ass. "Yup fuck this game."
"I second that." said Dan.
"I third it," Phil chimed in. Safe to say Timore was not our amore. Dan and Phil proceed with their end-of-video speech telling their fans to thumb up the video and to subscribe to our channels. Yes I have a channel too though it's not as funny and cheery as Dan and Phil's channels. It's mostly full of vlogs I make known as 'Awkward Vlogs'. I wanted to call them 'End-Of-Days Vlogs' but one look from Phil and a fuck no from Dan quickly killed that idea. Pun really not intended. Sorry.
I know I joke and tease a lot when it comes to the subject but death has been such a big part of my life that it's actually why I don't scream at junpscares. I figured if you're on deaths doorstep what's left to be afraid of?
I was diagnosed when I was eighteen with leukemia. Soon after I underwent months of treatment after treatment to beat it. I went the whole nine yards: chemo (which caused my light brown curls to fall out in the process), bone marrow transplants courtesy of Phil, and radiation which just fucking sucked worse than anything you can imagine. Everything seemed to be going fine (Dr. Maris, my cancer doctor, even said that I was well on my way to a full recovery) but then the doctor realized that wasn't the case. Phil's bone marrow turned out to be astoundingly stubborn.
After a few months, almost a year, into my treatment it was decided that I would move in with Phil at his flat. I was getting worse and his home was much closer to the hospital than our parents' house. It was good for a while; he'd drop me off and pick me up from treatment (him on foot, and me, since I'm almost always woozy as fuck after chemo & radiation, by wheelchair which Phil got for me as a welcome home present), and then do whatever he could to comfort me once I was home. Then one day when he picked me up I was stunned to find he was not alone.
Dan was just as adorable then as he is now.
Phil, by then, had told him that I was sick. He didn't mention how bad though. So later that day after Dan unpacked his things and we all filled up with pizza and cokes (since neither man was up to cooking that night), I sat him down in the living room and told him the truth. That I was dying. Dan was shocked but he understood and with a pained expression he enveloped me in his arms and promised to do whatever he can to make my final days (which my doctor estimated to be around two to three years at most)as peaceful and comfortable as possible, but with a little chaos now and then to shake things up. After all they wouldn't want me to bite it early 'cause of boredom. And frankly neither would I.
From then on it was like one wild and crazy dream. Dan would drop me off for treatment and pick me up afterwards when Phil couldn't. Whenever I felt like shite, which was almost all the time, Dan would comfort me, make me a nice cup of tea, hold me until I eventually passed out, and at times hold my puke bucket. He even helped film and post some of my videos because there were days where I felt too weak to even get out of bed. We usually do something stupid those days, like challenges or truth or dare. I loved filming with him because he always makes me laugh. Phil too helped me out every now and then, doing collab's with me and Dan. In time we became one small but happy family.
"So what do you all want for dinner?" Phil asked.
"Pizza," Dan and I answered in unison. "Please," I added.
Phil stood up, his lanky form towering over us, and left the room to ring the pizza place. While Phil did that I took my trusty journal, which had been sitting behind me on Dan's bed, and flipped it to the page where I'd left off. "What're you doing?" Dan asked joining me on the soft bed.
"Nothing," I muttered keeping my eyes down. Dan, unlike Phil could always tell when I lied just by looking me in the eyes. I wasn't about to let him catch me this time, because this time the truth could kill him. Him… and my brother.
"Is that a list?" Shit! I quickly shut the journal.
"You know Daniel it is rather rude to read a girls private journal," I said whipping out his full name. He absolutely hates it when I whip out his full name.
"It's also quite rude to keep secrets from the people who love you," he retorted looking at me with his big brown eyes in a way he knows will get the bloody truth out of me. DAMN HIM!
"Fuck you! You know I can't keep anything in when you look at me like that." I groaned, while Dan chuckled in victory. "You promise not to tell Phil?"
Dan's jaw dropped. "He's your brother! He has to know!"
"Exactly he's my brother! I don't want to hurt him like this…" I then flipped back to the beginning of the section I'd been working on and showed it to Dan.
"Hazel's Awkward Bucket List," Dan read out loud. He was quiet for a long time, and the silence made me uneasy.
"I've only written a few things down but I get more and more ideas every day." I said trying not to break into a mess of tears. "I started it the day Dr. Maris told me there was no hope anymore."
"None of them are checked off though," Dan pointed out.
"I know…"
"You should get started," he said handing me back the journal.
"Really" I scoffed at the idea.
"Yeah, I mean what good's a bucket list if you're not going to do anything on it?"
"I don't know Dan, some of these are damn near impossible to-."
"Not if you have an amazing friend who's not on fire to help." I stared at him in awe. Dan was my hero, my best friend, and as of that day the man I wanted to kiss. You can't think of him like that though, said the annoying voice in my head that constantly reminded me that if I did think of Dan that way and something happened between us, it'll only make it worse when I- STOP IT! "Why are you looking at me like that?"
It was only then I realized I had a pained expression on my face. I quickly shook it off, not wanting to give Dan a real reason to worry. I looked back at him and this time felt warm. Without a single thought I pulled him by his shirt and wrapped my arms around him.
"Thank you Dan," I said before kissing him on the cheek. His skin was smooth beneath my lips. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You're welcome love," He said pressing his lips to my forehead. He held me for a while and then let go. "We'll get started on that tomorrow, just us okay?"
"Okay."
"What's first?" We looked down at the first item on the list. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"
I just smile and hope that all will go well…and that (for the love of all that is holy) Dan doesn't freak about, or even see, what number 30 is.