The Meaning of Fate
When a baby is born, they have a string tied around their wrists. On your birth certificate, the doctors write the color, the shade, which hand it's on, and the type of knot it's tied in. At a baby shower, parents are usually given jewelry boxes to keep the thread in as gifts. For the most part, it's regarded as a part of the body: It grows along with the person, whether they're wearing it or not; all attempts to dye it are temporary; it never stays on if it's tied onto the wrong hand or with the wrong knot; and it repairs itself when it breaks. Everyone knows why the thread is there, and that's why it's so important that the doctors write down all the details.
The person born with a matching string is supposed to be your soulmate.
Kurt Hummel is born with a red string he calls vermillion tied in a figure-of-eight knot on his left arm. He loves vermillion; he says it's a sassy shade that suits his personality perfectly. He likes the figure-of-eight, too, because of its resemblance to the infinity symbol.
The first thing Kurt notices about Sam Evans when he walks into Glee club the first time is that he's wearing his string. It's red, dark red. Close enough to be vermillion. He can't see the knot, but his heart skips a beat. Kurt wishes he were wearing his own string, but it's at home in the box on his nightstand.
Then he looks at the rest of Sam. He's certainly cute enough. He takes care of himself – and that hair. It's fake. When Sam agrees to be his duet partner, Kurt is sure Sam's gay. The next day at school, Kurt wears his string. He hopes Sam notices.
That's when Finn talks to him. He talks about how bad it is for Kurt and how it's hard enough for Sam to be the new kid. He shouldn't have to be the new gay kid just because he sang a duet with someone who flames more than the sun.
Kurt's heart is in his throat. "Just – just one more day, okay? Then I promise I'll end the duet with him."
Kurt's heart wrenches when he sees Sam the next day. He promised himself that no matter what, he would end the duet with Sam. If the threads match, well, they have the rest of their lives together, don't they?
"So, we're singing a song about the heart-bracelets," Kurt says, "but I'm curious – what did the doctors write about yours?"
"Left hand, red, figure eight knot."
Kurt's pulse is pounding in his ears. "What shade of red?"
"Something big. I'm dyslexic, so I have trouble with words sometimes..." Sam blushes.
"You're wearing it under that wristband, aren't you?" Kurt glances at Sam's arm.
"Dude, I never take it off."
"I'm good with colors. Lemme take a look." So Sam peels it off, and to Kurt, it feels like forever. Instead of telling Sam, Kurt needs to make sure. He puts his own wrist next to Sam's. Kurt's wrist is slender and white with a pronounced dip before the prominent veins disappear. Sam's are square, tanned, and a bit thick.
The shade is an exact match.
"Vermillion. It's called vermillion." He watches the realization hit Sam full in the face. His eyes rise from their hands to meet Kurt's.
In his head, this is the moment when Sam kisses him or smiles at him with the most beautiful expression on his face. Instead, Kurt sees fear. Sam doesn't even say anything.
This isn't how this was supposed to go.
To his credit, Sam doesn't get mad. He doesn't run away. He just asks to use the bathroom, and somehow that's worse. Kurt decides to use the duet as a gesture. Obviously Sam doesn't have a problem with homosexuality, but it's different when you're considering that your soulmate is a man, especially if you assumed you were straight.
Sam sits at the table across from Kurt. He still isn't smiling, but he doesn't look as tense.
"I was thinking... maybe we shouldn't do the duet."
"Did I do something to offend you?" Sam asks carefully. Kurt's heart breaks, just a little.
"No, I just... You're the new kid, right?" He quotes Finn because he doesn't want to stop spending time with Sam, not when he's supposed to be with him forever. "If you sing with me... Well, people will pick on the new gay kid."
"I'm not gay."
"I didn't say you were, but people will think you are if you sing with me." Sam nodded slowly.
"This doesn't mean anything." The words are low and almost silent, but they're powerful.
"So, what, you'll just pretend this doesn't exist – you'll bury yourself in women?"
"Just because we're s-soul – just because we're supposed to love each other doesn't mean we have to be together."
"You would really do that to me?" Kurt says quietly. "I'm not letting you go, now that I've found you. I'm not going to out you because I know how hard it is. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But don't think I'll settle for anything less than you." He holds eye contact with Sam, watching confusion and anger pass through Sam's eyes.
"I have to go." His voice is level.
"See you in Glee club."
"I don't know if I'm going to stay in Glee."
Kurt's heart breaks, and the minute Sam is out the door, he breaks down crying. He doesn't eat dinner, and his dad talks at him through the door. He doesn't get the whole story, though. Kurt can't tell him about the vermillion threads. When he's out of tears, Kurt has one mantra: He said he isn't gay, not that he doesn't like boys.
Sam stays in Glee. Kurt's glad, but he refuses to look at Sam. Instead, he shows off and does a duet by himself. Kurt refuses to be broken.
Sam was right about one thing: they don't have to be together just because they'll love each other. Sam isn't ready for Kurt yet, and maybe Kurt isn't ready for Sam. That's the meaning of fate, though – no matter what, it will happen eventually.