Weight
Disclaimer – I do not own Fairy Tail
Summary: Gray only wanted to spend time on his new handheld lacrima device…
Weight (Rated T)
"Gray, how much do boobs weigh?"
"Why? Do you plan on getting some?" the ice mage remarked, his eyes still glued to his new handheld lacrima device which used archive magic.
"Ugh! Why do you have to be so negative?" Happy shouted, storming out of the room.
Gray's head popped up in shock before his eyes drifted to Natsu. "I could have sworn it was you whoasked that question."
"Why's it gotta be me?" the fire mage responded, looking affronted.
"Because you have a tendency to ask stupid questions like that."
"It's not really a stupid question if you think about it."
"Hn."
"I mean, lots of girls probably wonder about it. They probably use it as an excuse to deduct from their actual weight."
"…"
"Gray? Are you even listening to me?"
"Mhm."
"Then what did I say?"
"Hn."
"I did not go 'hn.' You went 'hn.' Not me!"
"…"
"You're looking up how much boobs weigh, aren't you?" When Natsu still received nothing but grunts and other odd noises, he rose from his seat on the couch and hovered over Gray's shoulder. "Boo."
The ice mage jumped and immediately shut down his handheld lacrima device. "I told you to stop that!" he snapped.
"What were you looking at?"
"Nothing to concern yourself with."
"Tell me or I'll spread those pictures I have of you singing with your hairbrush."
Gray narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't dare."
"I would."
Knowing that Natsu wouldn't budge on the matter, the ice mage turned his lacrima back on and resumed the archive entry he'd been looking at.
"You actually looked it up?"
Gray began to feel the shame consume him. "I couldn't help it," he mumbled. "I got…curious."
"Well…" The fire mage faltered. Should he dare ask? "What's it say?"
"What does what say?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Natsu hissed. "How much do boobs weigh?"
The fire mage's face turned red. This conversation had gotten awkward. Like really awkward. "Boobs weigh about a pound a cup size."
"A pound a cup size," Natsu mumbled as if contemplating those exact words. "So let's see…I think Lucy's an F cup. I'm not sure. But if she is…that means…HER BOOBS WEIGH FOURTEEN POUNDS? How the hell do girls walk around without falling over?"
"Women are…proportioned differently," said Gray. He was so glad he didn't have a sister. He couldn't bear the thought of having a conversation like this with a female of any kind.
"That's just—girls are weird," Natsu deadpanned. "Are you going to tell Happy? It was his question."
"I think I'd rather die."
"Would you rather I show those pictures?"
"Fine. Happy!"
End