Title: Every Inch of My Galaxy
Rating: K+
Characters: Sebastian, Kurt, Blaine
Summary: Sebastian is invited to the Brittana wedding and is ambushed by Kurt and Blaine's surprise nuptials. One-sided Kurtbastian. AU-ish. Written for irushtothestart.
Note: I'm ignoring the existence of Walter and sort of replacing him with Sebastian. Established Kurtbastian friendship.
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EVERY INCH OF MY GALAXY
"Why am I here?" Sebastian muttered to himself as he straightened his tie again. He was in a barn in north-east Indiana surrounded by public school educated trash and Kurt was nowhere to be seen. The black girl and the wheelchair kid were singing 'At Last' – cliché and boring. This wasn't what he'd come to see. Kurt asking nicely was the only reason he'd even considered it.
They'd talked a few times since Kurt's return from New York. Kurt had sounded so sad at first. But the sadness had lifted with Sebastian's bad jokes and complaints about the creepy old men at his father's office. It was no news to them that Sebastian was gay – half had heard it from his father and the other half he'd seen at Scandals. He had been doing his best to ignore their lingering handshakes and hungry eyes but it had started to get to him. Until Kurt came back.
They spent their nights talking and their days texting. There was a gentle give and take to their conversations that had spread calm throughout Sebastian's life. He spent fewer nights out on the town and more lying in bed waiting for Kurt to call.
And now he was watching Kurt watching Blaine come down the aisle.
This is ridiculous, Sebastian thought. You love him you big idiot. You've never loved anyone the way you love him. Just get up and tell him!
Blaine reached for Kurt's hand when he reached the altar and Sebastian sunk back into his chair. Even from the back row he could see the glow that overcame Kurt when Blaine touched him. He could see the twinkle in those blue eyes and could hear the nervous laughter flutter in his throat. He fumbled over vows and jammed the ring onto Blaine's finger so fast he nearly knocked him over.
I can't tell him. I can't ruin this for him. He'd never forgive me. I have to keep going.
The couples kissed and everyone cheered and Sebastian almost forgot to clap. He felt hollow as a crowd swarmed around Kurt and Blaine to congratulate them. Sebastian hung back, watching as the chairs were rearranged around tables with space for a dancefloor in the middle. Music began to play and Blaine twirled Kurt around before pulling him close for a dance.
That was enough.
Outside, Sebastian breathed deep. The sunshine was grey and weak and everything felt cold against his skin. Brushing a hand against his face, he felt hot. Checking his face in the window of a nearby car, he was flushed and there were bags under his eyes. He sighed and pulled his keys from his pocket, heading towards his car.
"Hey Smythe," a familiar voice called. Kurt was sauntering toward him, hands in pockets. "You better not be walking out on my wedding reception."
"Sorry, I'm just not feeling well."
"Liar."
Sebastian took another deep breath and gestured to the barn. "You didn't tell me you were getting married today."
"I didn't know until about five minutes beforehand," Kurt laughed but it faded. He stepped closer to Sebastian and reached for his hand. "Talk to me, Seb. What's going on?"
Sebastian barely had to look down to meet Kurt's eyes anymore. He kept getting taller and Sebastian imagined he felt taller with the new confirmation that he was married to the love of his life. The love Sebastian was no longer sure he had. "I just… I thought we had something."
Kurt's face fell and concern clouded his vision as he reached for Sebastian's shoulder. His new wedding ring was the only thing to shine in the dull light. "We do have something, Seb. You're one of my best friends." He bit his lip before he retracted his hand. "I guess that's the problem though, isn't it?"
Sebastian's mouth hung open before he shook his head. "I love you, Kurt. I do, and this horrible surprise is just gut-wrenching. I mean, I expected to be bored but I didn't expect to be blindsided like this."
"Seb, calm down."
"I can't!" Tears were slipping down his cheeks and he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes to make them stop. "I can't because I love you and I just lost you without even realising it was a possibility and I hate myself for believing for even a second that I'd won you over!"
Kurt reached for him again but Sebastian jerked away and backed himself up against a car. He gasped for breath and clenched his fists where they hung by his sides before he blinked away the tears and looked up at Kurt.
"I had gotten so used to the idea that I'd lost you when you went to New York. And then you came back and I let myself hope and that was the stupidest thing I've ever done." The venom dripped from his clumsy words with the saliva that dribbled down his chin as he cried. He hadn't been like this since he was a child.
"I'm sorry I did this to you, Seb. I didn't mean to."
Sebastian sunk down to the ground, drawing his knees up to his chest. "You never do. No one ever does. But it happens anyway."
Kurt knelt down in front of him, watching him with the same sad eyes he'd brought home from New York. He brushed Sebastian's hair away from his face and trailed his fingers over the line of his cheekbone before he leaned in and kissed him quickly. He didn't linger and Sebastian barely felt the pressure of their lips together but he breathed Kurt in and calm washed over him again.
"You will always have a place in my heart, Sebastian Smythe. You're always gonna be the boy who turned a corner, who became a safe place in a troubling world." Kurt pulled away and shrugged his shoulders. "Blaine is my safe place now. And you're gonna find a safe place too and he is gonna love you with every fibre of his being."
"But I want that to be you."
"Maybe now you do. But you'll change your mind. You'll turn another corner and you'll know because the boy you love will be every inch of the galaxy to you. And he'll be the luckiest guy in the world." Without warning, Kurt grabbed Sebastian's hands and pulled him to his feet, brushing the dust from his jacket while Sebastian shook off his pants. "You're gonna be okay, Sebastian."
Sebastian went to say something before Blaine appeared beside them, his bright brown eyes looking between them.
"What's happening out here?" he asked, jovial and charming as always.
Kurt summoned a smile. "I was just telling Sebastian he should go talk to Spencer. He's a bit young but they'd be perfect with all there quipping and sports and whatnot."
"That's a great idea. I think he's dancing with Mason at the moment but that could be fun. Come on, we'll introduce you."
Sebastian shook his head. "No, I'd better get going. I have some work I need to get done for my dad. But thanks for inviting me. And congratulations." He turned and headed for his car before they could say anything. He climbed in and started the engine and did up his seatbelt before he dared look into the rear view mirror. He could see them walking back towards the barn. Kurt, who would always carry him in his heart. And Blaine, who had stolen every inch of his galaxy. But if that kept Kurt from turning into a black hole then maybe that was okay.