Disclaimer: I Own Nothing. The Loud House in its entirety belongs to Nickelodeon.
It was just an average Saturday morning in the neighborhood of Royal Woods, Michigan. Most of the houses were quiet, the occupants having slept in to get the most from their weekend after such a long and grueling week, and the majority of the residents were still in the process of waking up. Most the houses, except for one, that is. A single two story house with a yard littered with toys was host to the two parents, ten daughters, only son, and multiple pets that comprised the Loud family. Despite the early hours, and much to the consternation of their neighbor Mr. Grouse, they were currently doing an outstanding job of living up to the name.
Within the house chaos was running rampant, with the young twins arguing in the living room over what to watch on the television, the ever energetic Lynn rollerskating around the bottom floor wearing a helmet and wielding a hockey stick, constant vibrations rumbling down from the room of Luna as she jammed away on her guitar, and the occasional explosion from child prodigy Lisa's room shaking the house foundations. Amidst all this sat Lincoln, tired bags under his eyes, munching away on a bowl of cereal and casually observing the turmoil around him from the dining room table. Next to him was his sister Lucy, wearing a larger purple turban and rubbing a crystal ball on the table, while Lori sat to his other side, texting away with her Bobby Boo-Boo Bear as always.
"Are you sure you don't want to hear your fortune? It could warn you of the danger yet to come," the gothic sister spoke to her brother in her usual monotone.
Without even looking up from where the twins had formed a dust cloud in front of the couch for the remote, Lincoln merely gave a dry response back.
"Only if the future can warn me when to look out for Luan's next pie in the face routine."
"Hmm," Lucy responded, waving her hands over the crystal ball in a mystic fashion. "I would say in about... five seconds."
Sure enough, the comedian of the family vaulted into the room from the kitchen, freshly baked pies in either hand and an only slightly deranged smile on her face.
"Did someone say PIE!"
The next moment, two cream pies were sent soaring through the air towards the three siblings. Without missing a beat, Lucy leaned to her right, and Lincoln to his left, both clearly used to this occurrence, and one pie flew through the open space where it could have hit either Loud. It landed with a very large splat on the wall behind them, slowly sliding down to the floor and leaving a trail of cream on its way down. The other pie, however, seemed to have found its mark, as Lola and Lana's fighting and Lynn's rollerskating came to a screeching halt when a shrill scream rang out from Lincoln's left.
"LUAN!"
Lori, dripping with freshly made dessert and a pie tin resting on her head like a hat, rose from her chair with enough for to knock it backwards into the wall behind her, and charged after her younger sister. Luan merely ran off while giggling like a madman as she was chased though the house and out of sight by a highly peeved off Lori. After a few moments of rubbing his ear to remove the faint ringing courtesy of his eldest sibling, Lincoln turned towards Lucy.
"Nice call."
"Thanks. So, about your future.."
Just like that, the bottom floor returned to normal, the sounds of fights and skating and ominous future predictions filing the air once more. The family dog Charles ran in from the backyard and made quick work at licking the pie off the wall. Lincoln merely gave a sigh at the sight, faintly wondering if he was going to be made to clean up the mess later.
"Lincoln, honey, could you come here please?"
Hearing his mother calling from the kitchen, Lincoln hopped off the chair and grabbed his now empty bowl before heeding the summons of his mother.
"Sorry Lucy, but my future's gonna have to wait."
"Sigh."
Heading into the kitchen, the first thing to catch Lincoln's eye was the absolute mess left on the counter from Luan's baking spree. The second was over on the larger of the two tables used by the older members of the family, which was the remains of her baking, mainly in the form of three large stacks of cream pies sitting before Leni, who looked even more confused than normal.
"Why are there, like, so many pies on the table? Oh, do we each get our own pie for dessert tonight?!"
"No sweetie, those are just extras that your sister made," Rita replied from her place by the sink, cleaning the dishes from last night.
"Oh, that makes sense. But wait, which one..."
Lincoln shook his head with an amused smile on his face as Leni proceeded to narrow her eyes in concentration at solving what seemed to be a real head scratcher, for her at least.
'Oh Leni, sweet to a fault, but about as bright as Lucy's nail polish,' Lincoln thought.
Moving towards his mother, the matriarch of the family turned to her son and put his bowl and spoon into the sink.
"Good morning sweetie, did you sleep well? You look like you just went ten rounds of wrestling with Lynn."
Before he could even get one word out, the tomboy in question shot into the room with little warning and made a circle around the two.
"Not yet he hasn't!"
Without even slowing down she shot out the back door before her mother could chastise her. It all happened so fast one could have missed it with a mere blink of the eyes. For her part Rita was simply happy she remembered to go outside before she had to remind the thirteen year old.
"I'm fine mom, just a little tired is all," Lincoln said, only slightly perturbed at the idea of wrestling with Lynn later. He'd rather deal with her mixed martial arts training compared to wrestling. At least with that he knew how to block or deflect a few of her moves.
"Well that good to hear. Oh, the reason I called you in here was to do a favor for me."
Lincoln tensed up, eyeballing the large mound of dirty dishes from last night's dinner.
"And no, it's not help with the dishes. You know the rules, when your dad or myself is off, we do the dishes," Rita continued, watching her son visibly loosen up at the words.
"Thank goodness. What is it then?"
"Here," she said, gesturing to a plate holding a sandwich on the counter. "Lisa skipped breakfast today, so could you take her something to eat?"
"Sure thing."
It was no secret that Lisa would sometimes skip lunch or breakfast for her research, and she had just gotten some sort of experimental scanner, so Lincoln wasn't too surprised by this. So the boy grabbed the plate off the counter, a plain peanut butter and jelly sandwich, just the way Lisa liked it, and headed out of the kitchen, and past Leni who seemed no closer to figuring out who made all the pies.
"Thanks Lincoln," her heard his mom call out as he left the room.
Rita watched him leave before turning to her second eldest daughter.
"Leni, give it a rest on the pies sweetie."
The teenager in question just slumped back in her chair, exhausted with a little pout on her face, giving the stack of desserts the stink eye.
Lincoln made is way upstairs, and had to stop midway up as Luan and Lori, still hot on the comedian's heels, race up the stair and around the corner. Little bits of pie were flying off Lori, and the family's bird Walt was not to far behind, landing by a crumb, scarfing it down and moving on to the next with a single flap of his wings, slowly hopping up the stairs on crumb at a time. Lincoln took care not to step on the little yellow bird as he moved forward.
Right as Lincoln reached the top of the stairs, he was startled by the brief yet powerful and amplified guitar shredding coming from Luna and Luan's room as his fourth oldest sibling reached her sanctuary from the irate teen behind her.
"Luan! You have to come out sometime, and I'll be waiting when you do!" Lori yelled at the closed door, though whether or not she was heard over Luna's guitar solo was another matter entirely.
"Great, now I need another shower."
Lincoln watched as Lori stalked sullenly into her room while trying to stifle a laugh, not wanting to attract her ire. Everyone gets it good from Luan every once in a while, and today just happened to be Lori's not-so-lucky day. So the boy turned around and headed for the room of the two youngest Louds, wondering idlely what experiments his sister was up to today. Nothing dangerous hopefully.
Inside the young genius's room, however, the truth was the complete opposite.
"Now preparing for initial test of new subsurface anomaly sensor utilizing experimental optical and acoustic detection methods. Due to the extremely hazardous nature of these prototype stage devices, complete lock down must be preformed in order to ensure no bodily harm befalls any of my genetic sharing family members or the various fauna that reside on the premises. Initiating scans for any potential nearby life signs."
Lisa switched over to a separate screen on her computer that wasn't covered in various types of technological terms and symbols. The screen that popped up showed a camera feed of her entire room from a camera hidden in the corner. She could even see herself at her computer in what looked to be a cross between a hazmat suit and a space suit.
"Scanning. Scans show no organisms on the premises other than myself, securely encased within proper attire as per safety requirements. Area secured, moving on to next zone."
The four year old switched over to a view of the hallway a second later after inputting the note manually into her logs as well as the microphone in her suit. The view from a camera mounted above her brother's door faced the hall, showing nothing in particular aside from Walt pecking at something on the ground by Lori and Leni's room.
"Avian fauna Walt detected near eldest siblings' place of residence. Subject well outside of danger zone. Area deemed secure, moving to final zone."
One last screen came up, showing the inside of the air vents connecting Lisa and Lily's room to the rest of the house.
"Ventilation system is clear of any inhabitants, elder sibling inclined towards all things macabre or otherwise. All areas deemed secure, proceeding to lock down portion of pre-test procedures."
With a few more clicks on her keyboard, metal shutters covered the window, barricades erected within the air vents as all air ducts sealed shut, and the main door swung shut, locked, an airtight seal forming around the main entryway to the room.
"Lock down complete, now proceeding to testing stage. According to reports, the device will release a powerful optical and auditory blast into the sample material of high-density iridium, detect the visual variations from sudden exposure to extreme brightness and the various changes in vibration frequency from concussive sonic blasts to give an in-detail analysis of the interior of the iridium. A single blast will begin the start of the initial tests. Beginning tests in eleven, ten..."
With a click of the button, the countdown began, and Lisa sat back and watched the device next to her. What looked like a large chunk of rock sat on what appeared to be an advanced microscope, only instead of three separate lenses, there was what appeared to be a small light similar to old flash-bulbs, and what looked like a miniature speaker of some sort, both alongside a compact bundle of sensors far to advanced to make sense of.
Slowly a glow began to emit from the device and the speaker began to reverberate. The visor of Lisa's suit gradually started to become more opaque as the glowing grew to increased levels, the growing sounds from the compacted speaker non-existent through the use of the suit material's noise cancellation capabilities.
Then, the lights turned off, then right back on.
'What the?' Lisa thought before turning around.
Now, it bares mentioning that Lisa was a woman of science, and if one were to ask her if she believed in luck, she would go on a lengthy rant filled with over complicated terms that could easily be shortened to a simple no. However, she did believe in chance, as chance can be measured due to the outside factors and variables at play whenever chance is involved. For example, the more siblings that are home, the greater the chances that an argument will break out. Lisa knew there was a chance that someone could bypass her security measures, but the odds of that happening were so abysmally small that she wouldn't bother concerning herself with it.
'No. This can't be.'
However, today those near impossible odds came true and she found herself staring dumbfounded at none other than Lincoln, on the wrong side of a locked door, holding a plate and saying words she could not hear. A despicable mixture of dread and terror struck the scientist to her core as she looked at the countdown on her computer, the increasing power of the device on her table, and back to Lincoln. Rational mind gone, Lisa, in a rare instance of nothing but raw human emotion, lept and reached for her brother in a futile attempt to save him as the visor of her suit became pitch black.
"LINCOLN!"
The words were muted by her own suit to the white haired boy, and soon Lincoln's world became nothing more than a bright light and a loud ringing, before the whiteness became black, the ringing subsided to nothing, and the assault to the senses became too much, unconsciousness overtaking him.
Chapter 1 of my first Loud House fanfic, Tactile. Hope you enjoyed it, remember to stay tuned for more to come, and don't forget to leave a review! Comments and Critique welcome! Until next time! - 3from2k