Sunday in the Park with Loki
A.N: Loki is not mine, not even a tiddly bit. He belongs to Marvel and the Norse. Sigh. Steve and Tony belong to Marvel. I saw the 'Loki's Army' t-shirt on the Net.
It was late February, and a promise of snow was in the air. Steve Rogers was grateful for the cold, his heavy hooded sweatshirt lent him a certain anonymity from the few people who had braved the park in the bitter temperature. As he walked, he noticed a well - dressed man sitting on a park bench, reading a book and sipping from a Starbucks take out mug. Loki? Sitting on a bench in Central Park. Reading. Not making the park pigeons attack passerbys, not turning the trees into cotton candy or causing the statues to walk or any other of the myriad mischiefs he was prone to do for his own amusement. He was still debating how best to handle this unforseen meeting when Loki spoke.
"Good afternoon, Captain." Loki didn't even bother to look up from his book.
"How..?"
Loki marked his place and closed the book. "It is," he checked the expensive looking watch on his left wrist. "a little after twelve. It is your custom, barring an 'Assemble' command from the grumpy cyclops, to walk or jog in the park at this time of day. Your usual route takes you this way."
Steve was nonplussed. "Are you stalking me?"
"Stalking would imply that I am hunting you. I am merely making a note of your routine. Like your fellow Avengers, you are a creature of habit. You might want to talk to the others about that. You make things far too easy for me."
"Thanks." Steve felt a vague sense of irritation, a normal side effect of being in Loki's company. He was worse than Stark."What are you reading?'
"I was reading 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu. I am now having a conversation, such as it is, with you." Loki smiled in his usual condescending way. "I recently finished 'The Prince' by Niccolò Machiavelli. I was expecially intrigued by his idea of conquest by criminal virtue - power secured through deeds considered cruel or immoral. But I am still undecided on whether he meant his work to be taken seriously or as a work of satire. Am I boring you Captain? Your eyes have a rather glazed look to them."
Before Steve could answer, a teenaged girl, accompanied by the largest German shepherd Steve had ever seen, walked up to them. He noticed she was wearing a pullover green hoodie with 'Loki's Army' blazoned across the front, with a silhouette of a horned Loki beneath.
"Is this man bothering you my Lord?" the girl asked Loki. "Should I set Fenrir upon him?"
"Wha...?" was all Steve was able to get out.
Loki smiled at the girl. "As much as I find that idea amusing Amber, it isn't necessary. For the moment, anyway. I believe the others are convening at Belvedere Castle, so run along and I will join you in a bit."
With a final glare at Steve, the teenage girl and her beast were gone.
"Wha...?" Steve managed again.
"Loki's Army. Catchy, isn't it? Not an army in the conventional sense, but they are a very effective propaganda machine, spreading my message all over this realm. Amber is a member of the Manhattan chapter."
"You have a fan club?"
"You don't?" Loki made a tsking noise. "I will admit I found it a bit confusing at first, but it's rather endearing, don't you think?"
"No. I find it disturbing. You're a megalomanical super-villian with a passion for massive destruction." Steve pushed the hood of his sweatshirt back and ran his fingers through his hair. "You should be in a specially designed cell."
"You've been spending too much time with Fury." Loki stood up, walked over to a trash bin and tossed his empty Starbucks cup into it. "I'm famished. I'm thinking hot dog cart on my way to the castle. Care to join me?"
Steve thought about it for a few seconds, then nodded. "I need to see this fan club."
"You will have to surrender your cell phone." Loki held out his hand. "I don't want you taking pictures or texting your band of merry misfits back at the mansion."
"I'll get it back, undamaged?"
Loki nodded and Steve handed over his cell phone.
"Now, shall we? My treat."
Steve nodded and put his hood back up. It would be very bad if Captain America was spotted taking a casual stroll through Central Park with Thor's unbalanced little brother. Not to mention letting said little brother buy him a hot dog.
Loki ordered a hot dog with sauerkraut for himself and one with spicey brown mustard and lots of onions for Steve. "Have you seen the Avengers toys? Action figures, costumes, Thor's hammer, that sort of thing. I particularly like the posable action figures. I like to animate them and have them simulate various acts of perversion. True acts are impossible as they lack genitalia. I wonder - would sex with the Hulk count as beastiality?"
Steve choked on his hot dog, which caused Loki to chuckle. "I didn't need to know that. Any of it. Ever."
"There is supposedly an action figure of me as well, but it is very popular and hard to come by. And here we are."
It was a relatively small group, Steve noticed with satisfaction. A mix of mostly teens and twenty-somethings, male and female, with a few older people who should know better, in his opinion. "Very impressive."
Loki snorted. "I hate to disappoint you Captain, but these are just the chapter officers. Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens. Membership in the New York Metropolitan area was over 300,000 at last report. I don't know the global figures." He smirked. Steve hated that smirk.
"Well, I've seen your adoring fans, so if you'll return my cell phone, I'm outta here."
Loki handed the cell phone over. "Give Thor my best." Loki smirked once more.
Much later that afternoon...
Steve was sitting on one of the couches, staring off into space, when Tony entered the room. Tony paused to pour himself a scotch, then wandered over.
"Anything wrong, Captain?"
Steve looked up at him. "I don't know where to start. I ran into Loki at Central Park."
"Was he making the statues chase people again?"
"No. But he bought me a hot dog."
"I've never gotten so much as a bagel from him. Should I be hurt?" Tony sat down and took a sip of his drink.
"He was meeting members of his fan club by Belvedere Castle. His fan club. What's wrong with people?" Steve shook his head.
Tony shrugged. "I know about the fan club and no I'm not a member. He's good looking, charismatic and charming when he wants to be. Not to mention the whole God of Mischief thing. Perfect fan club material."
"He told me there are Avengers toys, including action figures." Steve decided not to mention what Loki did with the action figures.
"That I didn't know. Makes sense, there's a lot of money in that sort of thing. I expect S.H.I.E.L.D. organized it though a shadow company of some sort. I should have had approval on my likeness though. I'll have to add that to the list of complaints I'm planning on presenting to Coulson."
"Not Fury? Coulson would the proper person to address first, but I've noticed you don't pay attention to protocol or chain of command."
"I don't. But last time I tried to file a complaint with Fury, he tasered me. Yeah." Tony shook his head.
"I've wanted to taser you a few times."
"Just a few?" Tony laughed.
"Ok. More than a few." Steve smiled.
"Thanks. I have my reputation to live up to, you know." Tony finished his drink. "I have reservations for two at Estiatorio Milos for seven tonight and my date cancelled. Yeah it happens. Rarely. Want to join me? It's Greek seafood and they have the best baklava in the city. You have something other than jeans, right?"
"Somewhere."
"Good. It's a date then." Tony didn't feel the need to inform Steve that his cancelled date was Loki. Nope. Like he told Steve - Loki was good looking and charming. He was also a great dinner conversationalist.
So Tony and Steve did some Avengerish bonding over Greek seafood and Steve only wished he had a taser handy twice during the meal. Call that progress.