Disclaimer: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Also, she does not claim Legend of Zelda, which belongs to Nintendo and Shigeru Miyamoto and others.
Summary: Crack!fic. A sudden flash of light and our favorite Tales of Abyss characters end up in the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. How will Jade fair when he has to save Hyrule from an unexpected enemy?
Warnings: The authoress' horrible attempt at writing, possible spoilers for both games, an OC (Lia from my Awakening fic) making a cameo as a very minor character, crossdressing, and just pure craziness.
Genre: Humor/Parody
Pairings: none
Rating: T
Authoress' Other Notes: Inspiration for this came from fanfics I have read in the past of different series characters, be it an anime or another video game, being placed into the Ocarina of Time world and thought to do one myself, while at the same time making myself excited for the upcoming re-release of one of my favorite games onto the 3DS.
Chapters are probably going to be short as I am not trying to make this a long, drawn out fic like the one I am currently working on. In other words, if you are looking for a long, detailed fic, this isn't the one for you.
Jade Curtiss and the Triforce of Courage
A reluctant hero to play a game for which its course and outcome has been predetermined. Familiar faces are scattered everywhere, some forced to play into roles contrary to their personality.
The question is: are you a friend or foe?
Where is the semblance of logic within this sea of madness?
Chapter 1: An Unconventional Solution for Boredom
"I'm so bored," Lia yawned, stretching her arms up in the air as the conference for peace between Kimlasca and Malkuth in the makeshift board room of Mayor Teodoro's office was underway. She was perched out on the balcony of the second floor, outside the room, kicking her feet back and forth.
"Let's play a game then, shall we?" An amused female voice spoke out to her and next thing Lia realized, everything around her was engulfed in a bright white light.
Jade Curtiss, colonel of the Third Division of the Malkuth Imperial Forces, woke up confused and with a major headache. Last thing he recalled, the colonel was sitting beside Emperor Peony at the oval table in Teodoro's office as the terms of the truce between the two kingdoms were being negotiated.
And now, somehow, he was transported to a strange hut and laid out on a wooden bed that hurt his back. Wincing, he jumped off the bed onto his feet and the first thing he noticed, besides the odd green tunic that now adorned his body as oppose to his military uniform, was that he was considerably shorter than normal.
It was not just a matter of an inch or two. No, more like a couple of feet difference.
"What in the name of Yulia is this madness?" the colonel cursed as he noticed that his head barely rested higher than the top of the center table.
"Oh, you're awake already?" a highly effeminate male voice, emitting from a pinkish ball of light, spoke as it entered the room. Jade squinted his eyes, despite his 20/20 vision as the thing was extremely tiny to view even with normal vision, curious as to why the voice sounded so familiar in the back of his mind.
"Dist? My, you didn't need to grow wings and shrink to the size of a maggot to become a fairy," Jade smirked, in spite of his predicament.
"Oh, shut it!" the fontech loving God General turned fairy kicked his legs childishly as he threw a temper, his reddish colored wings beating furiously to hold his body up in the air. It was amazing that he had not exerted himself yet with his frail body.
"And is that a pink dress that you're wearing?" he harassed Dist further as his mind processed the long frilly pink dress that covered his nemesis' tiny body.
"It's not my fault! At least I wasn't de-aged like you!"
"De-aged?" Jade raised an eyebrow, his hand reaching out to squish the fairy within his fist, causing Dist's tiny body to flail around seeking precious oxygen.
"Yes…you're twelve again," he squeaked in a high pitch voice. Jade used his free hand to feel around his head and confirmed that his hair was short as it was when he was young.
"Who did this?" the colonel growled out, his crimson red eyes gleaming through his glasses.
"I don't know…please, you're suffocating me, Jade," he whined the last part out and Jade decided to let him go, for now at least.
"Why would someone do this? There had been no hyperresonance that would cause me to be teleported away from Yulia City and surely, this is not part of Van's plans…"
"Who knows…anyways, you need to see the Great Deku Tree," he coughed.
"What?" the colonel did not even bother hiding the look of confusion that covered his face.
"I have this script here of what we are supposed to do," Dist pulls out a mini piece of paper, matching his current size, from the chest area of his dress.
"So, in other words, this was planned and we need to follow someone's sadistic scheme in order to get out of this mess?"
"Basically," the fairy nodded.
"And why are you a fairy?" the colonel inquired.
"I'm going to be your partner in this journey!" the former God General beamed at him.
"I will kill whoever is behind this. Slowly and painfully," Jade muttered to himself as he stepped outside of the humble hut to take in the scenery of the village. Other huts were scattered across the grassy clearing amongst the woods, but only his was seated on top of a tree. The inhabitants were all short in height and wore the same iconic tunic that appeared on his body.
"About time, sleepyhead!" he heard a girl giggle at him from below the platform supporting his hut. Forgoing the ladder, he jumped down onto the grass, Dist trying to beat his wings as fast as possible in order to try to keep up with his pace, and was faced with none other than Anise. It was odd to see her without Fon Master Ion accompanying her nor Tokunaga, which appeared to be missing.
"Welcome to Kokiri Forest.~" she cheered.
"My, you must feel at home with all the natives here, Anise," Jade teased her about her short height.
"Boo! You can't talk either!" the Fon Master guardian pouted.
"Only a temporary ailment, I assure you.~"
"I rather be in your position," a soft male voice took Jade off guard and the colonel finally took notice of another ball of light next to Anise. A green hued fairy.
"Fon Master?" he allowed himself to gasp a little, as uncharacteristic as it may be. But this was no ordinary situation either.
"Hello Jade," Ion responded meekly, who still wore his Order of Lorelei outfit as oppose to Dist, whose trademark outfit was nowhere in sight.
"Hmm…you better hurry before the Great Deku Tree gets mad," Anise advised Jade.
"Alright, I presume its that huge tree in the distance."
"Have fun!~ See you later!" Anise said with a knowing smrik as she saluted Jade as he walked away.
"Am I only one in the dark about what's going on?" the colonel asked Dist over his shoulder, ignoring the village native sitting on the roof of one of the huts beckoning him to talk with them as they passed by.
"I dunno," the former God General shrugged his tiny shoulders as he flew alongside Jade.
Sync waited at the entrance of the pathway leading up to the Great Deku Tree. His mask was gone, and he wore the standard green outfit of the village. Armed with a spear, he blocked Jade from proceeding onwards.
"Sorry, I cannot allow you to go any further."
"Oh?" Jade extended his arm and his trademark spear materialized out of it.
"The rule is that you need a sword and shield," Sync held his ground, even with the point of the spearhead pointed at his neck.
"Rules? I could care less about them. I didn't become the Necromancer by following the rules."
"Fine, I will let you through this time without a fight," Sync relented and the colonel hesitantly lowered his spear, surprised by the passivity of the Tempest.
"Would Van approve of you acting so carelessly?" Jade said offhandedly.
"Fheh. Van has nothing to do with this mess," he spit onto the ground, causing Dist to give him a look of disgust at his manners, or rather, lack of. In return, Sync just scowled at the fairy.
"Watch it, fairy boy, or I could crush you to death, quite literally," Sync threatened his co-worker.
"No, I am afraid that I hold that right, Sync," Jade interrupted with an evil grin on his face.
"Whatever, just make haste so that this goes as quickly as possible. I have better things that I could be doing than hanging out in this hippie village," the Tempest retorted.
"You act as if the weight of the world rests upon my shoulders."
"In a way," Sync shrugged.
"I hate responsibility," Jade muttered before he proceeded towards the pathway to the Great Deku Tree to discover what this place is and his role in this whole scheme.