Finally, nightfall. It's time. I didn't want this for her, for us. It wasn't supposed to be like this, but I can't help myself. I love her too much for it to be any other way—that, and I'm too selfish. If I had a heartbeat, I'm sure it would be thumping faster than ever from the nerves. But I don't, so it isn't. I shake these thoughts as I run. I've made up my mind.
You don't know I'm coming. You are clueless, probably sitting in your living room watching TV or reading, perhaps. You have no idea that tonight marks the end of life as you know it. These thoughts cloud my mind and make it difficult for me to breathe, as they create tension in the air. Not that I need to breathe. It reminds me of the atmosphere when I'm with you, but this tension is far from sexual. No, this is a nervous tension brought on by my thoughts flying around my head at a mile a minute, all centered around you.
These thoughts of you and me and us together have brought on a deep discomfort, almost painful, in my fangs. They ache for you. If I harbored any doubt, it was gone then. This is beyond my control. I need you. I turn down your street, oddly nervous that you'll reject me. Suddenly, I doubt all the touches and laughs we've shared over the past few months. Is it all in my head? Is it really possible that you love me like I love you? There's only one way to find out.
I rap on the door, three times, as always. My lucky number. Hopefully it will bring me luck tonight. It is cold outside, but my face is not flushed from the frosty air. I wonder if you'll notice. I wonder if you ever notice my constantly pale skin or how it's always cold to the touch. Now is not the time for you to be asking questions about me. Not until this is over. Not until you are mine.
You answer after looking through the peephole, making sure you know who stands outside. You can't imagine who would be at the door at this hour of the night, and you're always safe. Just one of the things I've grown to love about you. That and your angel face, innocent like that of a child. Before you can question my presence, I step into your house and press a finger to your lips. I've been invited in before. I close the door behind me with my unoccupied hand, and, suddenly, my lips are on yours. Your soft, warm, minty lips that I now realize I'll never get enough of, and, if everything goes as planned, I'll never have to—minus the warmth, I suppose. You kiss me back and that's all I need. I break the kiss and silently ask for permission with my eyes. You grant it with yours.
Forever will never be long enough with you, but it's what we'll have together. This perfection that is our love will live on for eternity. The feelings that you make me feel, that I'm feeling right now cannot be properly described. The closest I can come is love, but right now it's pure lust. I want you, all of you, now. Your eyes go wide as I bite into my wrist, but they turn soft when the blood hits your mouth and drips down to your chin. You realize what is happening, and you're okay with it. You're ready.
With this one action, I have shown you just how serious I am about you and me, us, together. Forever. Everything in these last few months led up to this point. This is for keeps. You are now mine, and I am yours, and we are each other's for all time. But that will never be enough.
I lead you upstairs now, ready to guide you through what will inevitably be the most painful time in your existence, and, therefore, in mine. I regret that I did this to you, but I couldn't have it any other way. I could not live without you. Now we will live forever together. You followed me, and now we will be whole.
After what feels like hours it's over. You've been falling in and out of sleep, your body changing, transforming and your screams occupying the house every few minutes. Now you get up, eager to test out your new body, but I'm eager to test something else. I tackle you to the bed, and we fall in a sea of sheets. At first, you don't understand, but then it dawns on you. You know what I want, and you want it just as much as I do.
Hot mouths connect, and clothes are torn from cold bodies. Now is not the time to be gentle. Now is the time to get sweet relief. As soon as our clothes have been discarded, hands wander all over, just getting to know and feel each other after months of wanting, of dreaming. The experience is more wonderful and perfect than anything either of us had ever experienced—better than feeding, even. We get lost in each other, drowning in the best experience of our lives, solidifying our love for one another. We leave behind the world around us and lose ourselves in the moment, a moment better than the outside world could ever be. It's our world. It's just us two. I can't tell if it's been hours or days, and I don't care. There's only one thing left to do.
"I love you, Spencer," I say and guide her to my neck.
She knows what to do, biting and stealing the blood that runs through my veins. I've never shared such an intimate moment with another being, but I never had a reason to before now. She is my soul mate, my one and only, and I was never capable of letting her go.