Sneaking Decus into Fun City was surprisingly simple. The guards at the door still believed Shigeo's story that they were a troupe of particularly controversial performance artists and musicians whose favourite way to shock the audience was to dress as the Ten Wise Men. It helped that he was a good singer, or at least, was able to cheat by installing a high quality soundsystem into the cybernetic helmet he wore over his head at all times. Marsilio was genuinely good on the guitar and Decus seemed willing to juggle small flames conjured in a variety of shapes, such as Bunnies, flowers, hearts, Nede national flags, Tria symbols and nameless eldritch horrors from beyond the void, for everyone's amusement. This display of ironically nihilistic symbological pyrotechnics seemed to impress the guards enough to let him in for free too, as their presence added to the city's eternal party atmosphere, except for the nameless eldritch horrors, which drove two of them insane just by looking at them. Fortunately, the third guard had squinty eyes.
So far, Shigeo and Marsilio had managed to persuade him not to raze the entire city to the ground. The scouts had been forced to drag him away from both the Bunny Racetrack and the Cooking Championship Stadium, two targets that practically screamed 'please set me on fire', by distracting him with talk of the much more interesting and flammable surprise waiting for him when he finally reached their mystery destination. They also kept him away from the large crowds in the main plaza and shopping malls that would make the most satisfying targets in terms of property damage and civilian casualties. This had been difficult, as small children kept walking up to him to ask him how he kept his head on fire like that, and could he toast marshmallows and eat them at the same time? His love of being the centre of attention seemed to be winning out against his urge to cause infernal havoc, however, and he had even charred his autograph into a baseball bat for one of his small admirers, advising him that setting fires was fun and would make him more popular at school, until he had his own little cult of serial arsonists, which Shigeo thought was kind of endearing.
They had even managed, somehow, to persuade Decus that it wouldn't be fun to take Vesper along, as the project they had been working on wasn't strictly authorised by Indalecio and Decus' partner could be rather a stickler for the rules. Ruprecht, Jibril and Nicolus were always asking Shigeo to take them with him on scouting expeditions to the big cities, so they could see more of life outside the Tower and buy lots of souvenirs, but he was concerned that they might take what was meant as a harmless technical exercise the wrong way, whereas they knew Decus would appreciate their handiwork, or at least be uninterested in it. Of all the Wise Men who weren't on their scouting party, Decus seemed the most compatible with their way of thinking. They would never dare show their project directly to Cyril or Indalecio. Fortunately, when Cyril had found out that they were taking Decus along on their next away mission, his response was "For Tria's sake, yes, please keep him away from the Tower as long as possible! Just don't expect to have any success at being stealthy with him on the team." When Shigeo explained that Decus was to be the distraction, Cyril nodded and didn't ask any more questions.
They led Decus into the Arena and down the stairs into the pit, then entered one of the side doors that weren't visible from the ampitheatre seats. The main showings had finished for the day and the crowd had long since piled out of the Arena, leaving only the cleaners, technicians, a few tourists and a young couple looking for a relatively secluded place in the corner underneath the safety barrier to share a private moment in an unusual and exciting environment. Decus looked around him, confused, and tried to peer into the simulator rooms, fashioned to look like monster pits, to see what he was going to be fighting.
Then Cyril spontaneously appeared right in front of him, causing him to screech like a cat and jump up into the air before launching fully into a Spicule. When the tidal waves of flame dispersed, Marsilio re-emerged from the room, chuckling softly under his breath. Shigeo stood beside him and when he snapped the fingers of his right hand, the hologram disappeared. Decus looked down at his empty fist, where he had been clutching Cyrus' hair and attempting to bash his head repeatedly against the floor while screaming and preparing for another Spicule, and gave Marsilio a startled look.
"Surprised, or is that how you always greet your boss?" he commented.
"I... I knew it was a simulation!" insisted Decus.
"So, you admit you've always wanted to burn an effigy of him," said Shigeo.
"Name something I don't want to burn," he shrugged.
"Don't worry, you're not the first person to tell me he causes that reaction in them," said Shigeo, ushering him into the room that housed the simulator. It didn't look that different to the other simulators except for the warnings around the room that it was under a higher security lock and only available to authorised personnel, under penalty of severe disciplinary consequences, "Anyway, this is what I wanted to show you. I rebuilt the VR machine that the enemy was using to simulate our powers for training purposes."
"Why would you want to do that? I thought you said it was beyond repair."
"I didn't say I couldn't build a replacement, or that I hadn't backed up all the data I deleted. In the heat of the battle, nobody actually bothered to check what I was actually doing in the arena in the first place. Cyril left me for dead when the intruders almost destroyed me, so I didn't bother telling him," said Shigeo, "As for why I wanted to, well, the people here seem to think I'm helping them, but really, the simulations don't make a blind bit of difference when it comes to actually fighting us. This is something I made to amuse me in my spare time."
"What, by beating up holograms of us?" Decus looked more amused than outraged.
"It's more of a thought exercise. To see if, in a theoretical situation, I could actually beat any of the others. And to analyse in more detail how it is we actually fight. I was thinking of turning it into a strategic simulation we can use, try different styles and party combinations..."
"Am I in there as well?" asked Decus.
"Yes, we have your data, and Vesper's," he said, bringing up the senior Wise Man's battle statistics and a tiny holographic image of him on the screen.
Decus poked his tiny ethereal likeness and spun it around in increasingly fast circles while peering curiously at his statistics, before asking, "Don't you think I'm very strong?"
"I assure you, I just get one-shotted the moment I step into the damn room with you," said Shigeo, "But why don't you try it out for yourself?"
"Eh? Fight myself? What for?"
"To see how much you've improved since this data was last recorded," explained Shigeo, "And then update the database, so you can beat your own records and overcome your limits. I do it every time I visit."
"I see. So this is not just something you built so you can fantasise about beating the shit out of Cyril."
"Exactly. But, as I said, there's a high probability that the others will take it the wrong way. So, I'm only testing it out on people I trust not to care too much. Only you, Marsilio and Berle know," he said, "Want to give it a try? Or I could set up Vesper to fight side by side with you against another target, if you'd like."
"Flatly impossible! I could not bear to fight alongside a poor copy of Vesper, or to damage even a simulation of my rugged, handsome features," Decus told him, "And I definitely could not fight against Vesper! My heart would not be in the battle!"
"Are you sure? It's just that, this database hasn't been updated for a long time. You're bound to have improved since then. That means everyone who uses the simulation will see a weaker version of you, and think you really are weaker."
"What? That would be a tragedy! We must resolve this at once!" he declared.
"People might think badly of Vesper, too," prompted Shigeo.
Decus considered this for a moment, "He can come down here and adjust his own records. He might be angry at me if I try and do it for him and get it wrong. But, I must correct this poor quality simulation of myself!"
Shigeo had already programmed the VR machine to load a simulation of Decus once the virtual Cyril was dispelled – he had been fairly confident he could persuade the man – so when Decus ran back into the Arena pit, his Doppelgänger was already stood there, mocking him.
"This is a substitute for a greeting!" the simulation told him, before Decus threw himself at it, attempting to drag it up into the air with him as he launched into the air for a Spicule. The other Decus had the same idea, almost catching his original version with an uppercut to the face as he Spiculed a second later. Walls of flame poured from them, converting the sand on the floor into glass, scorching the sides of the pits and slamming against the sides of the force shields that kept the spectators safe. A second eruption followed as they landed, whereupon one of the Decuses (Shigeo had lost track of which one was which) grabbed the other in a headlock and punched him in the face several times. The other Decus bit him, kneed him in the groin, then shoved him away so that he had enough space to Spicule again. He was immediately followed by his twin.
"... They do know that they can't hurt each other with fire, right?" Marsilio whispered.
"I think they might have forgotten the point of the exercise together, but at least they're enjoying themselves. They're certainly testing the limits of the simulator," Shigeo watched as one of the Decuses grabbed the other into some kind of complicated-looking wrestling move, or possibly mating ritual, which ended in the other working out that he could lift his own body weight and launch them both into yet another Spicule. Whereupon the other figured out that Spicule still worked if he was using someone else's momentum to propel him. The force of the twin Spicules flung them apart from each other.
"Um, Shigeo... talking of limits, and straining them..." began Marsilio, pointing at the force shield, normally invisible, which sparked, the lights around the hexagonal segments of the force lattice flickering in rainbow colours, as the contenders decided to close the distance again with another Spicule each. The steadily growing audience was now gradually backing away, some of them already running for the exits.
"Eh, cheap thing, I thought they designed it to withstand Wise Man attacks! I told them to fortify the place after the invasion!" Shigeo snapped.
"I imagine that very few things can be fully protected against two Decuses," said Marsilio.
The shield made a noise like a light bulb shorting out, flared brightly, then the room suddenly felt uncomfortably hot, even for another Wise Man. Some of the more flammable objects in the room, such as the banners, posters, stage curtains and customers, were catching alight. The sprinklers came on, but then one of the Decuses screamed at the touch of the water, glared up at the source of the spray, then tore the system out of the ceiling.
"OHHHH it's hot OHHHH!" declared the other Decus in appreciation, "It's so hot I'm going to die!"
"We're the ones who are going to die if we don't get out," Marsilio told Shigeo, "The shields were protecting the simulator room as well."
"Just give me two seconds, I'll cancel the simulation!" said Shigeo, furiously typing. A large hand tapped him on the shoulder, then someone with very hot breath was hissing in his ear.
"You are not going to shut me down!" said the virtual Decus. Shigeo backed away from the controls quickly. At least he could tell them apart again. Probably. Unless they had gotten each other confused in some kind of complete existential breakdown. This was going to be very difficult to explain to Indalecio.
Meanwhile, the other Decus had fallen off the ceiling with a yelp. He shook his head, sending out a shower of tiny spitting motes of flame, then gazed at the object directly in front of him, in a rather dark corner of the room that had been invisible from the pit, and that he had assumed would just contain more dallying couples.
"What is this?" he demanded of Shigeo, pointing to a device that looked like a smaller version of the VR machines, inside a one-person booth. There were four of them in a row.
"Holy Tria, don't use that! It'll send you into your..."
Decus had almost immediately pried it open and shoved his head into it. His scream was quickly silenced, then he went limp and fell inside the booth that closed automatically behind him with an ominous click, then a humming, rattling noise like an overloaded washing machine.
"What did you do to my slightly less handsome twin?" demanded the virtual Decus.
"What did * I * do? Why is it my fault that he locked himself in a virtual reality machine that projects him into his own deepest subconscious?" snapped Shigeo. Marsilio shuddered to think what such a realm as Decus' psyche might look like.
"Can I have his room until he gets back?" responded the simulation.
"I guess it might save me some awkward explanations. Most of the projection equipment is portable. Just pretend you're the real Decus if anyone asks you, okay?"
"Of course I am real! Why is one AI more real than another one?" he insisted. Then he frowned, "I think Vesper will be able to tell the difference, though. I'm not sure this plan will work. Maybe we should go and rescue him!"
"Go into your subconscious? I'd rather be deleted."
"In that case, I shall go in there myself!"
"Please don't cause any more existential weirdness. Tria knows what damage you'll do!"
"We work for a man who wants to delete the Universe," Decus pointed out.
"Yeah, but he said we've got to do it in the right way!"
"Well, it does not matter. Vesper will be upset if I don't rescue Decus. Marsilio, are you coming?"
Decus had already grabbed Shigeo's partner by the arm and was vaulting over the seats towards the machine, ignoring the flames rising and the people screaming and running back and forth, the exit having been blocked by the falling apparatus that the duelling pyromaniacs had ripped out of the ceiling. Shigeo facepalmed and ran after them.