It Should Have Been Me

by Nikki Flinn

Summary: Draco regrets

It should have been me. I should have done it. I should never have let her go. I should have just fallen to my knees that first day in Diagon Alley and professed it all. But I couldn't. Oh God, did you know that? Did you know what stopped me? God I hope you did.

Not your fault. Mine. Entirely mine. Always and forever mine. Who cares what they think? I should have risked it. For somethng so real.

Everything is plastic in my world. What about yours? Do you know those feelings are just paper mache? There's a storm coming my dear, will it strike down your paper castles and set flames to those glass dreams? Or will yours weather it?

Mine always weathered. But plastic does well, doesn't it? Even plastic dies someday, my dear. And it has. Crumbled to nothing but fragments and I know there is hope.

Hope for us.

Isn't there? You were never that way to me.

I was never perfect. But you didn't want that did you?

Oh, but you did. Why else are you with him?

I would have stopped it if I could my dear. What am I saying? There was always that choice. I always knew where the chamber was. I could have rescued you at any time. I could have been the hero I want to be.

Pride is a funny thing.

I see you now. You're with him. I can't... I can't show it.

Or can I? I'm a Slytherin my dear. I know what has to happen at the end of this year, but that doesn't prevent anything from happening now.

It's easy my dear. I left the note for you at breakfast. I can imitate Potter's writing easily. We know how this will end and I... I have to know, my dear.

I see your face light up at the note. As desired, it disinigrates after read, into brilliant green and silver sparkles that dot your hair and clothes. Time honored tradition my dear. You're marked for a Slytherin tonight. Blaise mutters a curse. I got to you first. He wouldn't dare go over me.

You giggle and flirt a bit more with Potter but tonight you will be mine.

You meet me there, puntual as usual. The lights are dim and it is easy to sneak up behind you and blindfold you. You giggle prettily. I can barely control myself. I turn you gently to me.

"Harry!" You giggle and I want to cry. "This is so unlike you. Come on, take off the blindfold."

"Hush," I whisper, gentle and soft. "Just this once."

Your brow above the silk cravet I've ensnared you with, wrinkles.

"What do you me-"

I don't let you finish. I bring you close and kiss you. I know that moment that you should have been mine. I should have damned it all. I should have loved you. Forever.

I pull back slightly. "It should have been me." I whisper before leaving you.

Part Two

It Should have Been You

You should have stopped me. You would have loved me. True, i should grabbed you.

But you caught me first. Magic... what do the greatest wizards know if they never felt your lips on theirs?

You are my magic.

You are alos a silly and insipid prat. You fool. You bloody fool. If you won't love me, I'll leave you.

This time you get the note and I watch with perfect satisfaction as my sparks mark you. Did you think I didn't know what you did? DO you think I didn't know that you were always mine? You fool.

I'll have you yet.

This time we meet on the top of the tower. You are surprised. I smile at you.

"It should have been me." You whisper.

Anger flares. "Yes, it should have been."

"I couldn't."

"I know."

"I wanted to."

"But you couldn't."

"It should have been me."

I cross the distance and kiss you. You aren't expecting that. I pull back. "Then fix it."

"How?" You whisper.

"Save me." I announce. Before you can react, I turn and throw myself off the tower. But you are there, legs wrapped around the broom I left you, arms wrapped around me.

"This time..." You start.

"It was you." I finish.

The end.