Title: Why Shinobi Shave
Pairings/Characters: KakaIru, GenRai, TenzouGai(mentioned), AsumaKurenai(mentioned), Anko, Ibiki
Summary: So why do Shinobi shave? Anko had to ask...
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... it's a shame but I don't. XP
Dedicated to Zhem for her b-day
Anko leaned over the table, shifting her feet and grinning as she slurped a sickeningly sweet alcoholic concoction through a straw."So uh... do you guys shave 'everywhere'?" she asked, raising her eyebrow and pretending to peek over the top of the table.
Genma laughed as he leaned back, twirling his senbon between his fingers and sipping a beer. "Most, well at least the ones that go to the onsen."
"Really?" The konoichi quickly calculated in her head which guys she knew who went to the onsen. "Anyone who doesn't?"
The tokubetsu tapped his senbon against his lips before biting down on the slim piece of metal again. "Asuma, seems proud of his furry ass. Says it keeps us from looking at it." Genma visibly shuddered at his own words. "I'm serious; the man looks like a badly groomed bear."
Rai laughed, leaning against his boyfriend and reaching over to steal the pineapple and cherry toothpick from the blond's glass. "I think he has mange. Maybe, we should tell Kurenai to take him to the vet," he said, chuckiling again. "I'm sure Tsume would at least appreciate the furball, that or her mutts will."
Anko made a face and downed the last of her beer in an obvious attempt to banish the mental image."Okay so for the most part you all shave, not that I'm opposed to the fact but why? I mean I get women shaving, we kind of have to but you don't."
Setting his empty glass down, Raidou sucked on the stolen fruit. "First time you have to rip off an adhesive field bandage that's intended to stay on no matter what... you shave every possible place you think you might get injured and then some."
"Arm hair is not your friend when it comes to those damn things," Genma muttered, with a pained expression. "Take a nice long piece and wrap it around your head then rip it off really quickly and you'll know how it feels when a guy has to do it who hasn't shaved."
Taking a drink of his sake, Iruka laughed at the way Anko's eyes went wide at the comparison. "Do yourself a favor.... don't ask Gai that question."
"Why not?" Anko asked, the question already getting the better of her curiousity.
Iruka chuckled and shook his head. "You'll make him cry."
"Really?" She grinned, looking almost hopeful at the possibility.
The woman was evil and Iruka decided she probably would ask. "I wouldn't be so tempted to see him upset, it'd piss off Yamato, he's a bit possessive of his boyfriend."
Gray-purple eyes widened in surprise and Iruka chuckled as he realized he'd let the secret out. He sipped at his margarita, despite knowing if he was letting things like that slip out that he probably shouldn't drink any more.
Sighing he decided it was better if he told her all of it so it would kill her curiousity, at least he hoped it would. "Evidently he had a full beard for all of a month, thought it made him look even more manly. And then he and Kakashi were sparing, then Kakashi used some firejutsu and the thing caught on fire. It singed his precious eyebrows and he decided for the sake of everything 'youthful' he had to shave. It was a very tragic moment in his life."
Iruka licked the sugar from the rim and downed the last of the strawberry, mango margarita. "Don't go spreading that around. If I have to deal with him being pissed at me because I let the cat out of the bag, I'll make you regret it."
Anko pouted at the threat. "Him I could deal with, but you're just plain evil."
Iruka smirked, happy that he didn't actually have to expend the effort to remind her 'why' pissing him off would have been a bad idea. "Thank you, I try."
"Not that you have to." She rolled her eyes, swirling the tiny black straw around in her drink before reaching over and snatching the paper umbrella from Genma and twirling it. "So, Iru-chan..."
The nickname irritated him but it was Anko so he didn't bother with so much as glaring at her. "Yes, Anko-chan?"
"I bet you shave..." She grinned and tapped the end of the toothpick umbrella against the table. "You don't go on many missions so why bother? Did the little hellions tie you up with ducktape or something?"
"They wish. Like I would ever let those brats pull one over on me," he scoffed, not bothering to deny the rest of what she'd said.
Anko smirked and poked at his fingers with the end of the umbrella. "Then why bother shaving?" she asked in a way that clearly said she'd already guessed.
"Easy, Anko-chan..." Kakashi said, turning a chair around backwards setting it behind Iruka's. Sitting he wrapped his arms possessively around Iruka and rested his head on the chunin's shoulder. "I'd much rather taste him than hair."
Iruka blushed slightly as Anko's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. He'd intended to tell her but seeing the look on her face, he was glad he hadn't. "Don't encourage her, she's nosy enough as it is." He laughed softly, leaning his head against Kakashi's.
"No, no please encourage me!" Anko said grinning madly. "Encourage away!"
All four of the men laughed and shook their heads at the woman's eagerness. "You're so twisted, the last thing you need is encouragement," Genma laughed, drawing more protest from the dark-haired woman.
"You done having fun?" Kakashi asked, ignoring the other three who were going on about other possible 'practical' reasons for not shaving, including 'areodynamics'.
"Mmhmm..." Iruka said, then allowed himself to be dragged from the chair and out the door. He swayed a bit and leaned on his boyfriend. "Better get out of here before she decides to ask Ibiki if he shaves..." He chuckled and groped Kakashi's ass, too drunk to care who saw.
Kakashi laughed and pulled Iruka closer. "That is something I definitely don't want to know," he said shaking his head and dragging them both off towards Iruka's apartment.