Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin or anything else that may appear in this fanfiction; each is owned by their respective owners. Please support the official release.
Screams.
That's all I heard. Hopeless. Powerless. Screaming.
"Eren.."
But despite all that screaming, I can focus only on one thing...
"Eren.."
Eyes, once a radiant gold, is now a dull copper. A face that once held love and hope, now wore a vacant expression.
"Eren."
I'm running, trying to reach her, before that demonic hand drops her into its hellish mouth. But, for some reason, time slows down. So I watch helplessly, as she vanishes in a shower of blood. The demon that held her, that had eaten her, seemed to mock me with its cheshire-like grin.
"Eren!"
Thats when I screamed. I screamed in grief, in hopelessness, in rage.
"EREN!"
I love you, Mother . . . . . . . . and I'm so sorry.
"Eren! Wake up! We're almost at the landfill!"
I looked tiredly at the boy who had spoken. He was a bit younger than me by a couple months. Bright blue eyes stared down at me with slight concern, which is framed by chin-length blonde hair.
"I wasn't sleeping, Armin," I replied, "I was just . . . thinking."
"Oh," his tone and expression turned somber. "Well, how are you fee- "
He stopped himself, but I knew what he was going to ask.
"I'm fine, Armin," I replied wearily.
He looked at me skeptically, but didn't pursue the matter. He instead opted to look around, as if he were looking for something. And after looking around myself, I couldn't help but notice something was off.
"Hey, Armin?" I asked.
"Hm?"
"Where's Mikasa and your grandfather?"
"Don't you remember?"
"No . . . I kinda wasn't paying attention."
Armin gave me this weird look, like he understood, and pitied me. I looked away. I don't need your damn pity! I wanted to say, but somehow the words wouldn't come out.
"Well . . ." Armin said awkwardly, "My grandfather took Mikasa with him to see the captain. Y'know, to see when we'll get to the landfill. But one of the crewmembers just announced that we'll be there soon, so they should be back by now."
"Really? How long were they gone?"
He shrugged. "Not that long," replied. "Only for about thirty-minutes."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Huh."
There was an uncomfortable silence after that. Armin was still looking around, and I was thinking about . . .
"Eren! Mikasa! Please live on!"
I winced, rubbing my temples as I try not to think of . . .
"Eren!"
"Ah! Dammit!" I yelled.
Armin gasped in alarm, turning to face me and asked, "Eren! Are you okay?"
"Yea - no, no I don't think I'm okay, Armin," I shakily replied.
People around us looked in our direction, but I could honestly care less. I'm crying again, with Armin trying to calm me down, to comfort me, but I don't want to be comforted.
I just want my mother back.
A while later, Mikasa and Armin's grandfather came back, and when Mikasa saw my tear-stained face she immediately became the over-protective sister she usually is. After reassuring her that I was fine (which took at least took thirty minutes), the ship made port and we got off solemnly, the events of what recently transpired still fresh in our minds.
Armin's grandfather rented a small apartment for the four of us to live in temporarily, and rested, too tired to do anything else. I stayed up, however, afraid of what I will dream about.
"Eren...?" a soft voice caught my attention and I turned to see piercing obsidian eyes staring at me.
"Huh? Mikasa? Why aren't you asleep?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
I was speechless for a moment, trying to think of what of say next. But before I could think of a reply, Mikasa continued. "I know what you're feeling, what you're thinking about. You're thinking about your mother's death; you feel regret that you couldn't free her, and you feel rage that you couldn't kill the demon that murdered - no, had eaten her - in front of you. I know how you -"
"No you don't know!" I whispered harshly, still minding the fact that Armin and his grandfather are sleeping in the next room. "You don't know what it feels like to be powerless when you know that somebody you love, somebody who has raised you since a baby, to be suddenly taken from you! You don't know shit!"
"...My parents were killed."
I winced, forgetting that particular fact.
"They were killed right in front of me, and I do know what you feel." Mikasa continued. "I did feel powerless. I felt the grief, the heartache of having my family being taken away from me. And most importantly, I felt the rage, the rage of worthlessness, of not being able to do anything. I lost the will to live at that point. But then something amazing happened."
She turned to face me fully, looking deeply into my eyes, as if to convey her sincerity, and I believe her.
"A boy, a stupid, idiotic boy, came dashing to where I was held, and tried to free me. He just killed two of the captors, and he had this look in his eyes," her eyes glazed over, lost in her memories. I smiled briefly. "Eyes filled with determination, he told me that you have to fight - fight, in order to live. Because if you fight, you have a greater chance to live. So please, Eren, please - fight. Fight to live - don't lose yourself to despair, because you'll never see how beautiful the world truly is if you do."
Tears fell from her eyes as she continued to stare into my eyes, and she pleaded, "Please, fight. . . . live. . . for me."
I was silent for a while, thinking over her words. Then, after a moments hesitation, I reached out with a shaky hand and cupped her cheek, brushing aside the tears from her face, and I whispered, "Thank you, Mikasa. Thank you so much . . ."
She smiled, as if to say you're welcome. I continued, "And I promise you this; I will fight. I will fight to avenge my mother, to kill the Titans, and . . . for you as well."
I blushed a bit at the last part, but when her smile grew wider, I forgot about my embarrassment.
The bells were ringing, and the fire was raging.
"Dad! Stop it, Dad! You're hurting me!"
"I'm sorry, Eren, but you need this power!"
"What are you talking about?! You've been different ever since mom died!"
"Control it, Eren! Control this power! You MUST control this power!"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
"Listen to me, Eren - I don't have time. But you must reach the basement, understand? Reach the basement, Eren! Use the key! Use the power! YOU MUST USE IT!"
The fire was still raging, and the bell still ringing.
Through the tears, I saw my father, his own tears cascading down. I never saw him like this, his sea green eyes had a hint of insanity in them. But despite this, what really got my attention was the one who stood behind him in the shadows, one eye sapphire blue, another ruby red.
Seeing that I calmed down slightly, my father turned to the stranger and said, "Do it."
Giving the slightest nod, the stranger stalked over to me, and I'm reminded of how a wolf stalks his prey. With the illumination provided by the fire, I could see that it's a man, dressed very strangely. But really got my attention was his face.
Spiky blonde hair reached to his chin, shadowing his eyes slightly, but I could see them glowing from the shadows. He had three thick scars on each cheek and his face was impassive. In his hand, he held a syringe filled with a strange liquid that seemed to swirl around at its own accord.
When he put the needle through my arm and put the strange liquid inside me, a wave of pain washed over me. I screamed louder, cursing the stranger, cursing my father, and cursing myself, for being so weak.
My father's mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear his words through the pain.
It felt as though I was being burned from the inside, like liquid fire is coursing through my veins.
As I was about to pass out from the pain, I remembered Hannes' words, "The reason why you couldn't save your mother . . . was that you lacked the strength."
At the recollection, a new feeling went through me; rage. The rage of being weak, again. Of not being able to stand up for myself. With a renewed sense of purpose, I fought against the pain, determined not to fail my family again. Images of my mother, father, and Mikasa came to mind, and I fought even harder.
Finally, after what felt like hours, the pain subsided, and I cast a weary glance at my father and the stranger.
My father had tears in his eyes, but he was also smiling, as though proud of me, and despite what happened, I felt a tinge of happiness in my heart.
The stranger's face didn't change, but I think I see a speck of respect in his eyes, and I couldn't help but feel proud that I lived up to both of their expectations.
My father walked up to me, crouched to where I was tied to the ground, and said, "I'm sorry, Eren. I'm so very sorry, but with the limited time that I have, I only have this to say." He paused, and looked deeply into my eyes, "This power will help you, Eren. It will help you kill the Titans, it will help you avenge humanity, and it will also help you protect Mikasa and Armin. So it is imperative that you control this power. Do you understand?"
I nodded weakly, and a fresh wave of tears fell down my father's face; some spilling on my own. He leaned down, and kissed my forehead, like he used to do when he tucked me in bed as a little boy.
He stood, and then the stranger walked up, looked at me for a moment (was that pity in his eyes?), and turned to my father, saying something in a different language. My father seemed to understand it, however, and replied in the same tongue.
Looking satisfied, the stranger looked down on me again, and said, with a voice that's slightly accented, "Gaki . . ." he paused, as if struggling with the words, "live. For your mother's sake."
That struck something deep in me, but before I could reply, he and my father vanished.
The bells stopped ringing, but the fire was still raging.
"Eren! Wake up!"
Wearily, I opened my eyes and gazed up on the one who woke me up, her obsidian eyes piercing into my own, with a hint of exasperation and amusement in them.
"What is it, Mikasa?"
"C'mon, it's time to get breakfast. Armin's already in line."
It's been several days since we got here, and so far, things have been pretty tense. Because of the sudden influx of people coming in to Wall Rose, there has been a shortage of food, and those who originally lived in Wall Rose blamed us from Wall Maria for the shortage.
There's a lot of tension, and it felt as if a riot was going to break out soon.
Anyway, Mikasa and I rushed to the food lines, where they would be giving out breakfast - which, for some, was also lunch and dinner. As we neared the lines, a flash of blonde hair caught my attention, and for a moment, a touch of fear gripped my heart. I turned to get a better view, but my fears were put to rest when it wasn't the blonde man from my dream. The person wasn't even a man, but rather a girl around our age. Her blonde hair is tied into a bun, with a bang covering her right eye, both of which is a startling silvery blue. We both made eye contact, and I was startled at the look in her eyes; it's the same as mine - lost, not knowing what to do. Her eyes widened, and before I knew it, she turned her head and quickly walked away from our direction, easily disappearing with the crowd.
I stared at the direction that she went, and snapped myself out of my stupor. I followed Mikasa to where Armin is, who is now in sight and waving his hands. I ignored Mikasa's questioning stare.
Armin ran up to us, with three loaves of bread in his arms and a grin on his face.
"Check this out, guys!" he said excitedly. "My grandpa got in line early, and was able to get us some before anybody else!"
Mikasa smiled slightly, and I tried my best to be excited as well, but my mind kept going to the dream that I had last night, doubting whether it was even a dream. Did it actually happen? I thought to myself. But if it did, then when and how did my father get me out to the forest without anyone noticing? And who the hell was that guy? At the thought of my father, I felt something dangle against my skin, and looking down my shirt, I was shocked to see my father's key hanging on a cord around my neck. How come I have my father's key? Then I remembered my father's plea to me, and I came to the realization that the dream I had actually happened.
Questions kept running through my head, questions that I desperately need answers to. A scoff broke me out of my thoughts, and I turned to see a member of the Garrison glaring at us in disgust. I frowned. Why was he glaring at us like that?
With a sneer, he turned on his heel and walked away. With sending my own glare at his back, I turned to my friends, who were also staring at the man. Mikasa was glaring at him as well, but Armin looked at me apologetically.
As if to answer my unspoken question, he said quietly, "The tension is rising, Eren. There's even less food than before, and the Garrison Corps. isn't doing anything to help ease the tensions."
"Man, I wish that the Titans had eaten more of them."
At those words, we went stiff, and I turned my head in the direction of the one who said that. It wasn't surprising to me that the one who said that was the Garrison man from earlier, and he was speaking with another from the Garrison Corps.
"I mean, if they had eaten more of them, then there would be more mouths to feed."
At those words, combined with what has happened recently, I snapped. I rushed at the soldier, and drove my fist into his gut. He gasped in pain, but then his friend stepped in and kicked me in my stomach. I went tumbling to the ground, and the one who had spoken kicked the side of my head. I felt blood dripping out from the newly-created wound.
Dazed, I barely heard the Garrison members yelling at me. But then, their annoying voices stopped, and I opened my eyes to see what happened. I was then shocked at what I saw; the two Garrison members were knocked down, probably unconscious. Standing in front of the two downed men was, to my surprise, a teenaged boy who was only several years older than me.
I got up, albeit with some difficulty, and looked around. The people who were around was in a state of shock, gaping at the sight before them. After all, it wasn't common for teenagers to knock out two grown men in a short amount of time. I glanced at my friends, and noticed that they, too, were shocked.
Noticing the crowd, he sent a glare at them, and they quickly went back to their business. Sighing, he turned to my direction, and I once again felt fear grip my heart, for he looked like a carbon copy of the stranger I saw in my dream. The only difference was that the teenager before me had pitch-black hair, no markings on his face, and had two intense, cerulean blue eyes. But, whereas the stranger from my dream had a cold, calculating aura, this one has seemed to act purely on instinct. I'm not sure which one is worse.
However, his terrifying visage disappeared and was replaced with a more compassionate one, and he hurried to my aid. With a familiar accented voice, he asked worriedly, "Are you okay?"
Nodding, I winced when my head pulsed with pain, and the contents of my stomach threatened to come out. I dry-heaved, feeling the bile rise up, but I quickly swallowed it down.
Giving me a look of doubt, he helped me up, and, wrapping my arm around his neck, guided me to a bench in a less crowded area.
"Wait here," he said, and quickly walked away.
"Eren!"
Turning, I saw Mikasa and Armin running toward me, a look of worry on their faces.
"Hey, guys," I said weakly.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt too badly? Can you see clearly? How many fingers am I holding up? And no matter what, do not go towards the -"
"I'm fine, Armin!" I interrupted.
His mouth still open, as if the words were still struggling to come out, but then he sighed and looked away, exasperation clearly shown on his face. Sighing, I looked at Mikasa, only to see that along with worry, I could also tell that she was disappointed. With another heavy sigh, I looked at Armin and said, "Sorry, Armin. I didn't mean to snap at you. Its just that . . . I've been really stressed the several days, and I haven't been thinking clearly and that - I'm sorry."
His face split into a small smile, he nodded. I gave him my own smile, and I saw Mikasa giving me a look of approval. We stayed in a comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company, but then the teen from before came back.
He paused, as if sensing he were intruding, but in his hands lay a medical kit. I sighed in gratitude, and Armin and Mikasa stared at the teen in awe. It took me a moment to figure out that they probably saw him take down those two Garrison members, and, like them, stared at him with a bit of awe.
He came forward, seemingly ignorant of our stares, and started to bandage my head, and the comfortable silence became awkward. After he was done, he said, "That's all I could do for your head. Just try not to stress yourself for a while, and you should be fine."
I nodded, and the teen patted my shoulder, as if saying Hope you get better. He then stood, and made to leave. However, Mikasa called out, "Stop!"
He paused, and me and Armin looked at her, a bit surprised. He turned around, and stared at her questioningly. She blushed slightly under his intense gaze, and I had a gut-wrenching feeling. All of a sudden, I wanted to punch this guy in the face. I shook my head in an attempt to shake that weird feeling off.
After a moment, Mikasa said, "I just wanted to say thanks for helping Eren out."
As she said that, she stared pointedly at me, and I quickly mumbled out, "Yeah, thanks for that."
He smiled again, and I noticed that his canines are slightly longer and sharper than normal.
"Don't mention it, guys," he said. "Those bastards deserved it for talking shit like that."
I nodded in agreement, and then Armin joined in the conversation, "Hey, where did you learn to fight like that? You took those guys down in seconds! I haven't seen anybody move that fast! Can you teach us? Please?"
He gaped at Armin, and Mikasa hurriedly said, "Sorry about that. Armin's very curious, and when something catches his curiosity . . . well, it'll take the forces of heaven and earth to deter him. But, I too am curious as to where you learned to fight like that? And, if possible, could you please teach us?"
At this, she gained the same gleam in her eyes like Armin, curiosity and excitement gleaming. He looked at both of them, then at me, as if asking, Are they always like this?
I shrugged, Sometimes.
He sighed, then asked me, "I'm guessing that you also want to know?"
I nodded without hesitation.
He chuckled a bit, but soon adopted a serious attitude. He stared deeply into each of our eyes, as though he were looking for something. First he stared into Armin's, causing him to squirm slightly. Then, he turned to Mikasa, who held his intense stare with her own. Finally, he turned to me, and, even though I flinched slightly, I stared back defiantly.
Then, he spoke, "Why do you three want to learn how to fight? What drives you? What is your goal?"
At this, we looked at each other, unsure how to answer. Why do I want to learn? I thought to myself.
Then Hannes' words came again . . . You lacked the strength.
It was then that I knew my answer.
"I want to learn," I said. "Because I want to get stronger. Even if it won't help me kill Titans, it'll help me fight off other monsters in this world." Images of those who killed Mikasa's parents and captured her, as well as that of the two Garrison members, came to mind. "I want to gain strength . . . to protect those around me. And to avenge those who had fallen."
At that I remembered . . . Eren! Mikasa! Live on!
I winced, but maintained eye-contact with the teen. He stared at me appraisingly, while Armin looked at me strangely. I mentally rolled my eyes at that. But Mikasa . . . she had this small smile on her face, like she was proud, and I felt warm in my chest.
Then she spoke, "I want to learn . . . because I want to protect my family."
She looked at me pointedly, and this time I actually rolled my eyes her, but I had a small grin. Then Armin said softly, "I want to learn . . . so I won't be a burden."
The teen raised his eyebrow at that, while Mikasa and I gaped at him. Armin continued, "I've always been crying, always behind my friends, cowering behind them while they fought for me. And I wanted to change that, I swear I do! But," at this point, it was clear that he wanted to let this out for a while, so the three of us just listened. "I lacked the will. I was a coward."
I wanted to tell him, No, you're wrong! You're strong, Armin! but Mikasa looked at me and shook her head. Reluctantly, I nodded, acknowledging her silent request, and let Armin continue to talk. His eyes glazed over, as though he was focusing on what to say next.
"All I did was talk and use my brain. I thought that was the right thing to do, but in the end, I only got beaten up because of it. And when I saw you fight," here, he pointed at the older teen. "I was shocked. I mean, somebody only several years older than us easily took down two fully grown men like they were nothing! And they were soldiers! So, I decided that if I got the chance, I would ask you to teach me. So please." Armin, with a few tears escaping from his eyes, went to his knees and bowed. Me and Mikasa were, needless to say, was shocked. And, by his expression, so was the teen. Then, I felt really bad. This was what Armin felt all this time? That he was a burden? I wanted to say something, that he was strong, too, but the teen beat me to it.
He knelt in front of Armin, and spoke softly, "Armin, right?"
Sniffing, Armin mumbled, "Yeah."
The teen placed his hands on Armin's shoulders, and gently guided him up. Armin's eyes were slightly red and puffy, and he occasionally sniffed. Taking out a handkerchief from his pocket, he gave it to Armin, who blew his nose and wiped his tears. Softly smiling, the teen said, "Mr. Armin, by confessing all of that to somebody you just met, took a lot of courage. No matter what you say, you are strong. Look at your friends' faces, and tell me that I'm wrong, for they, too, think that you're strong."
He did look at our faces, and both Mikasa and I conveyed the fact that we did think of him as strong and brave. We both smiled encouragingly, and nodded, confirming that what the teen said is true.
His eyes were slightly watery, but tears didn't fall. He beamed, and the teen nodded in approval.
"Alright," he said. "I'll train you three."
We were elated, but before we could express our happiness, he continued in a serious tone, "However, be warned that the training is quite . . . extreme, and even I still have to finish my own training. But since my teacher has disappeared . . . well, I guess that we can make the best out of this."
All three of us nodded in confirmation. He nodded, "Okay, I'll meet guys here at the same time. Is that understood?"
"Yes!" we said together.
He smiled, and moved to walk away, but I remembered something.
"Hey!" I called out.
He looked over his head and looked at me questioningly. I gathered my courage and asked, "What's your name? I mean, you know ours, so its kinda common courtesy to say your name in return."
Mikasa and Armin were wide-eyed, as if they forgot to ask the name of our soon-to-be teacher. The person in question chuckled, and turned around. After a moment, he said, "Ah, well forgive me, my little students."
"Hey, you're only several years older than us!"
Ignoring Armin's indignant shout, he bowed with a swing of his arm, and said, "The name's Namikaze."
Looking at us with a cheshire-like grin, revealing his sharpened canines, he continued, "Menma Namikaze, at your service."
AN:/ R&R!
Update:2/28
This story has been re-posted because one)my friend messed up my story in a way that I cannot explain and second) there were a few grammatical errors that I fixed. Now, its fixed and please review, I need constructive criticism to improve my writing so it becomes more enjoyable for you and, in a way, for me.
Thanks,
-Lord Night Angel