Our Boys

by: Montez

standard disclaimer applies

author note: Third in series, companion to Normal? And Big Brother, Baby Brother.

"I just don't understand why you have to go clear across the country?" My voice was raising a little, this isn't the first time I've tried to make my argument. However, I should know better then to argue with a lawyer.

"It could have been across the Atlantic. Oxford had such an amazing offer. I just didn't think at thirteen he was ready to leave the country for schooling. Maybe once he's older, but right now Princeton is our best choice. It gives him the biggest and best opportunities there."

I look into his face and feel for him, but doesn't he realize how hard this is for me too. He wants to be angry, I see that, but I know he's not. He knows this is a once in a life time opportunity and we can't pass it up. We've done so much to nurture Charlie's gift. We have to let it shine beyond our own existence and this is the best way to do that.

"What am I suppose to do while my wife and youngest son are clear across the country of the next for years?"

"Donnie will still be with you. He got that baseball scholarship, but he'll have to stay here at home. I know he really wanted to get out on his own. You could do some father/son bonding." I say this with a slight smile, trying to lighten the mood a little. I really hate these disagreements we have, they're never full on arguments. We're both to laid back of that, but he does have a way of ruffling my feathers.

"I've always done things with Donnie. You were always with Charlie, he needed one of us." I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, I watched her face fall. I know she had always felt bad for the time she had to take away from Donnie to be with Charlie. I never blamed her for it and I truly don't believe that Donnie ever has either.

Once Charlie's gift was realized things had to change. Charlie always responded better to his mother then with me, so she was the one to take the lead with him. I did miss not being able to connect with my youngest, but his intelligence both amazed and frightened me. So while Margaret took Charlie to his tutors, I took Donnie to his baseball practices. That was one of the few things Donnie didn't have to give up and he seemed perfectly happy to have that. There were times when he did have to sacrifice as both Margaret and myself were needed for certain events involving Charlie and his gift. But Donnie never complained, he seemed to take it all in stride.

I looked at Margaret seeing the sadness in her eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that." I took her in my arms and held her close.

"I know, I do feel that I have let Donnie down, but Charlie is so young. He needs me more." Alan will never the know the regret I have, feeling I have in some way failed Donnie. In my heart though I would not change a thing. Raising a gifted child has been such a challenge, but one I feel, in the long run, will actually benefit us all, even Donnie. He's a good boy with the exceptions of getting called into the principals office more then we'd like. I hear when he is trying to explain to his father that he's trying, in his own way of course, to still take care of Charlie. To look out for him, but to us that is not an excuse to start a fight. To Donnie that's more then a good enough reason, he's always been good at protecting his brother.

Donnie has always looked out for his baby brother, even when we didn't ask him to. Donnie adored Charlie from the moment we brought him home. He helped teach him to walk and it was always so cute when Charlie had just started talking, when he'd run through the house shouting 'Nonnie' because he couldn't get 'Donnie' out.

I"ll never forget that time when Charlie followed his big brother up into that tree in the backyard. I started to panic when I looked out and didn't see them playing in the yard. When I went out the back door I heard 'MOMEEE!!" screeched excitedly from the limbs of the tree. My heart nearly stopped as I saw Charlie six feet up in that tree, grinning that big two year old grin that use to get him out of all kinds of trouble. I noticed Donnie smiling to, but what struck me more was behind that smile was a hint of panic as I could tell he had a death grip on his brother. He wasn't about to let him fall, but he wasn't quite sure how he was going to get him down either. Alan had come running from the garage at my yelling. He got the ladder out and climbed up to get Charlie. Only when Donnie knew his father had a firm hold of his little brother did Donnie finally let go of him. Relief washing over that seven year old face as he knew he had kept his baby brother safe.

I did notice things change when they started high school together. I know it was hard on Donnie, having his nine year old brother shadowing him at school too. It made me sad when I saw him withdraw from Charlie. I knew though that Donnie felt he had to establish himself in the hierarchy of high school, so he, somewhat, left Charlie behind. I know it upset Charlie, thinking his big brother had abandoned him, so he turned more into his numbers for comfort. I did see that Donnie didn't totally abandon him, he still watched over his baby brother.

"We're both tired and we both know that with you exceptional negotiating skills, I just will have to get use to seeing half my family only a few times a year. As you have said, I'll still have Donnie. Maybe I'll teach him to play golf and he could do that with his old man." I leaned down and kissed her forehead, always hating when my hot head caused me to put my foot in my mouth. I knew all was forgiven when she gave me her smile. The same on that I had seen many times that said to me 'I love you, you big goof'. There was another version of that smile I never got tired of. The one she wore the day we were married, and on each of the days that the boys had been born. The one that was so full of love, that if it had been any other person they would have burst, but she was able to contain it and generously give it to me and our boys. Yes, at times Charlie's gift had been trying on the family. But we never once regretted what we had done for him. Never once would we have changed a thing.

"I love you, you know", she smiled at me. "Yeah, I know," I replied grinning really big, "I love you too." Our lips met briefly as we started to get ready for bed. We both had big days tomorrow. I had a really important city planning meeting at ten. She had to be in court by eleven. But as I watched her climb into bed I smiled, at least we would get to have breakfast as a family, before seeing the boys off to school.

"I wonder which one's up?" I looked at Alan as he climbed into bed. I had just heard the floor boards in the hall creak, at least they couldn't sneak out that way. Alan had just reached over and turned out the light,

"Charlie...what?...Oh God"

My heart started pounding as I heard Donnie's voice rising, obviously the one up. I was getting up, as was Alan, when we heard the most terrifying words a parent can hear,

"MOM...DAD...CALL 911!!!"

Donnie's voice was so full of panic and fear. I jerked the door open and saw him, "DONNIE WHAT?" It took me a second to comprehend the scene before me. Donnie had tears streaming down his face as he held his nearly limp baby brother in his arms. "ALAN!!!" I screamed as I rushed toward them. Donnie dropped to his knees, holding his baby brother tightly. I heard Alan in the background, frantic on the phone, but my focus was on my babies.

"I NEED HELP...I NEED AN AMBULANCE...SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MY SON!!!" My mind couldn't work as I shouted into the phone. We had heard Donnie's panicked yelling. I had followed Margaret out into the hall and my world stopped. Donnie was cradling his baby brother, who was so still. I saw him drop to the floor as I rushed back into the room for the phone, "PLEASE WE NEED HELP!!" I was pleading into the phone now.

My heart stopped as the quiet of the hall was disturbed by a quiet child's voice, "Love you".

No this wasn't happening, not to my boys, not to my family. Margaret let out a cry that will haunt me forever as I watched Charlie go limp in his brother's arms. Donnie had a death grip on him, not letting him go, rocking him, repeating over and over, 'no no no'. "Sir we have help on the way", I faintly heard as I dropped the phone and rushed forward to my family. Fearing we'd be broken forever.

'My baby, my baby, NO, God won't do this', my mind screamed. I felt Alan's arms encircle me. Donnie wasn't releasing his baby brother, not even to me. 'God this can't be happening', were my last thoughts as I heard the faint sound of sirens in the distance.