I'm dreaming. I must be dreaming. This is not the present day, and I am not on the Falcon. Chewy isn't snoring in the hammock below, and the Resistance are not within arms reach. There are so many voices chattering in the space around me, but I can't understand their words, and I feel sick inside but I don't know why. So sick I almost want to double over and expel my last meal, but I keep my head up and my eyes open, breathing desperately through my nose. The air smells of old blood and death, and the sky is raining fire and ash.

Sadness, guilt and suffering wash over me so strongly that I slip carelessly to my knees, and cry out. Why I feel such overwhelming grief, I don't know immediately, but I hear a voice behind me. Soft, insistent and inviting.

"Come," it says, "Let the past die." Slowly, I get up and turn around. Snoke stands there, a black cloak blowing around in the fiery air. He is smiling, "Come, my son."

The dream shifts just as I'm realizing I am not myself. I am not Rey the Scavenger turned …well, whatever I am now. Here in this lucid but dreamlike moment, I'm someone else. And I'm fairly certain that someone is Kylo Ren. The scene has shifted to a younger Millenium Falcon, and a family. I'm small, I am loved. But then that too, is shifting away, as though being pulled into darkness, and I whirl back around to a more familiar sight. White lights line the walls of a First Order elevator, and clunky cuffs hold my wrists together in front of me. I turn instinctively to my left and he is there. The current Supreme Leader and my greatest enemy.

And I am Rey again.

Is this a dream? A memory? I stare around me for some sort of clue. And suddenly he turns to face me pointedly. Instead of me approaching him with appeals, calling him Ben and sharing what I'd seen of his future, he filled the space to me himself. The fixed height of his shoulders and his brows in a frown of contempt made me back up until I hit the wall.

"What are you doing?" he says, his eyes burning into me as they tended to do. "I thought we agreed this was connection over."

I swallowed, "I can't control it when I sleep."

He swallowed too, and glanced up and around us. "Is that what this is?" he murmured to himself, then he reached out and grabbed me, not hard, but around my throat. "No."

I could feel his fingers, cold and sweaty against my skin. "Let go-"

"Tell me where your infantile band of refuse are." he pressed in harder.

"You won't hurt me," I shake, and a tear down my face tries to betray me.

I kick out at his immense body but he dodges me, letting go of his hold. I run, and get nowhere, as though the doors themselves are false and this room is all that exists. He's shadowing me, but I can tell he doesn't know what this is either, by the way his eyes keep shifting all around the ceiling. I grab for something, anything to fight back, but my hands are still cound together. Then suddenly the lightsabre springs into my hands, inexplicably whole again. I yipe and nearly drop it, and then I hold it up at him.

His face changes, and his shoulders relax. He laughs, actually laughs and says, "There is something very twisted going on here."

"Just stay back," I wave it, so familiar in my cuffed hands.

His brows shift into something that pains me to see, and he steps closer, pressing the hilt against his chest. "Do it."

I shake my head and close the weapon fast, tossing it to the ground. Before I can do anything else, his hands are around my waist, and the back on by head, and I am being brought so close. His forehead is brushing against mine, but he's trembling. His powerful frame seems suddenly to be unsure, and for so long we stand like that, my wrists pressed between our chests like the last barrier. But his eyes, are all over me, and eventually I take his collar in my fingers and pull in.

As soon as our lips meet, he changes. Dimly, I'm aware of elevator wall against my back. Fingers are entwining in the folds of my tunic, tugging it off my shoulder. His lips fall there, and lower to the wrapped linen of my chest, lifting me and breathing me in. Then suddenly he stops, growling at himself, and slamming his hand on the wall beside my face. My breathing is shallow, and my heart is racing. All I know is, I want more.

He pulls back enough to meet my eyes. "Stay away from me, Rey."

"I didn't mean to-"

"I am the monster," he looks both afraid and terribly dangerous all once, and he is shaking so badly that I feel a physical wave emitting from him. "And I'm not sure I can control it."

"Ben, you can." I say as he still stands leaning his hands against the wall. "I feel it."

I try to move my arms awkwardly, but he shoves me back so hard I feel like I will bust straight through the walls, and I do! but there is no impact. I float away, watching him grow smaller in the darkness, watching me with the same eyes he had when I closed the Falcon. And then I roll over, awake at last. The sound of breakfast being made, and repairs being done in the Flacon are all around, and my hands are free... but I can still smell him, and feel his lips. I close my eyes and sigh hard. Then I rise for the day.