B R E A K I N G. T H E. G I R L.
Laurie Jean Randle.
Chapter 1
I left the classroom right as the bell for lunch went. The halls were already filled with people and I wanted to get outside quickly. It took me a few minutes but I finally made it to the doors that led out to the football field. If you can call it that. Half the grass was dead and there were patches of just dirt. Only a few people were out here already. Waiting for their friends to show up and start a game. But I wasn't out here to start a game of football. I wanted to sit in the shade of the bleachers that ran along the sides of the field. Brenda and Jane were both absent today. And I was by myself, so decided to hide away where no one could find me.
"Laurie!" I looked back at the school building for a second. Only to see Daniel and Ralph laughing. They continued yelling things at me, things I'm not going to repeat. I felt a few tears sting my eyes. Since I had turned 12, I was the kid that everyone picked on. Brenda and Jane don't care what others say about me. But even when they tell me every other person is stupid, I still want to cry until I've got a headache and I feel sick. I made it to the bleachers and I went around to the back, where I could sit under them and hope they didn't collapse on top of me. I sat down and smoothed my skirt down over my legs. I took a few deep breaths, but the lump in my throat got bigger and I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. I put my face in my hands, but didn't cry. I made myself not cry. Instead I just let the tears fall from my eyes, drop down onto my top and dampen my hair.
After a few minutes I had a bit of a headache, my top was stuck to my chest, my brown hair was a mess and I felt tired. I wanted to fall asleep then and there but I knew I couldn't. I wanted to go to my English classes after lunch. I loved English, especially the grammar and spelling part of it. I didn't like Sport class though. The idea of people watching me play basketball or soccer makes me nervous. I try real hard in my other subjects though and my marks are pretty good. I sat silently listening to everyone else having fun and talking with their friends. I tried to calm myself down, but when I thought back to the second I turned around and saw both of them standing there laughing I couldn't help but begin to cry again. This is stupid I thought a sixteen-year-old crying because someone called her a few names.
I pulled out the little compact mirror I kept in my bag and checked out my eyes. Oh, they were red alright. I quickly put the mirror away, not wanting to look at myself anymore. I pulled out the sandwich I had made myself this morning and took a bite. From where I was sitting I could see out onto one of the streets that surrounded our school. There was no one walking past today. Usually there were heaps of people. Not today. And this made the feeling in my stomach worse. It was like I was the only one left in the world. Besides the noise of the other kids in the school, it was just me.
I finished off my sandwich quickly and brushed the crumbs off my hands. It felt like I'd been sitting here forever. I leaned back against one of the poles that held up the bleachers. I sighed as a few more tears ran down my face. I'm not making excuses, but there was another reason for me to cry. My mother had left us. I was very close to my mother. And just last week I came home from school just as she was leaving. She didn't say whether she was leaving town or what. So for all I know she could still be here somewhere. The only reason I wanted her to stay really, was that I was her favorite. Selfish, I know. Steve, my older brother, hated this and I used to rub it in his face. I was always asking for new things, that I wouldn't even get, but still Steve hated this. My dad was never around much, and still isn't. He's either working or going out to drink with the guys from work. No, he's not abusive or anything. But with him out a lot and my mother gone the house is empty. And I don't like quiet. I don't mind being by myself, sometimes. Like now for example. But I also don't like having just one other person with me. Because even though Steve is my brother he could kill me. And I'm scared to die.
There was a loud bang, making me jump. I looked to my left where a football was bouncing along; making its way to the fence. I didn't get up to get it. If I stayed quiet enough, the person who was going to get it wouldn't notice me. I could hear someone coming along now. They were running fast at first, slowly starting to walk. He picked up the ball and turned around to walk back to the game. I'm safe, I thought. I kept watching him walk. And for one last moment before he went out of sight he saw me. First he gave me a weird look. And I thought he was going to say something. But instead he walked on as if he only imagined me being here. I knew who that guy was, his name was Ryan. He was in my English and Math class. I had spoken to him a few times and he was a well liked guy. The kind of guy who I expected to yell rude things at me as I walked by. But he didn't do that.
Nothing else happened for the rest of lunch hour. Except a few people walked by on the streets. Three women, dressed nicely and chatting to each other. They all saw me and one of them smiled at me. I smiled back quickly before she looked away. And that's all it took for me to walk past Daniel and Ralph on my way to the bathrooms. Usually I would've taken the long way around. I do anything to avoid them two. And I didn't even care that they called me a bitch as I walked past. Because all I could think of was that lady smiling at me. She didn't care that I was alone, or that I wasn't pretty enough. I walked on to the bathrooms, before the bell for the end of lunch went and every girl in the school ran in there. To make sure their make-up was perfect and that they still looked good.
There was no one else in the bathrooms I went into. Lucky. I quickly went to the toilet and washed my hands, making sure to waste all the soap in the dispenser. I caught a look of my face in the mirror. I had forgotten how red my eyes were before. Now they were back to normal, I guess you could say. Except for the fact that one of my brown eyes was slightly bigger than the other. My top was pretty much dry, though it was wrinkled a little. I tried to smooth my hair down with my hands, but this didn't work so well. I studied my reflection a minute longer. Putting my hands on my hips, I tried to find those curves all the other girls have. But I could barely see them. The bell rang and I pushed my way out, while every other girl fought to get in. I walked slowly along the hallway to my locker. I didn't have to go far from my locker to get to English, just around the corner. But if I got in early, I could choose any seat I wanted. And it meant less time worrying about whether the next guy I saw was going to be Daniel or Ralph.
Slamming my locker door shut after getting the books I needed, I quickly went around the corner to my English classroom. Mrs. Brookes was already in the room. Writing something up on the blackboard. I made sure to slam the door a little when I walked in. It was always awkward when the teacher turned around and got scared because you were there. She turned around and smiled at me. I smiled back, muttered a small 'Hi' and went to the seat in the back corner of the room. I liked to sit in the corner, so no one could write on my back and if anyone was to come over my way I could see who.
A few minutes later most of the other students had come in and sat down. There was an empty seat beside me. And hopefully no one would sit there. Besides if anyone did, Daniel and Ralph would give them crap about it. They were already here, sitting at the front. They were the 'popular' guys of Tenth Grade. Everyone did what they did. Sarah and Marilyn, the 'popular' girls weren't in any of my classes and they only annoyed me if they were with Daniel and Ralph. Not many people did actually tease me; it was only really Ralph and Daniel, and their friends. But everyone else pretty much avoided me so as not to get given crap about me. Steve didn't know about me getting teased. Even though I was in the same year as Two-Bit one of his good friends. Oh sure we only had one class together and we barely spoke, but I thought he would've known. And may have told Steve. But he hasn't.
"Ok, class listen up!" Mrs. Brookes said from the front of the room. Good, no one was sitting beside me. "I told you guys yesterday to start the essay about yourselves. Has anyone finished?" she looked around but no one said they'd finished. Of course, I don't think anyone had even started. This essay, we were to write one every three months. To see how much we had changed. I liked writing them. I pulled out what I had started so far as Mrs. Brookes began telling people off for not starting and tried to get everyone to start writing. I began where I left off. Not even realizing when someone sat down beside me. They didn't speak to me, but when I looked to my right and found Ryan sitting there, watching what I was writing, I almost died. Because he scared me. I moved my paper to the other side of my desk, so he couldn't see.
"Sorry." he muttered when he saw what I did. I rolled my eyes and began to write again. I wrote how my mother had left, and how I hated being alone. I wrote of how my friends were absent and how much worse school was without them. I was finished with five minutes to spare before the bell for the end of school. And I really wanted to go over it, make sure I spelt everything right and used the right punctuation. But I decided to save that for when I got home.
The bell went and as I got up to leave I caught Ryan's eye again. He was still sitting down, he had to stay back. But he smiled at me, only a small smile. But it was like at lunch hour, that smile was enough to make me ignore Daniels rude comments on my way out. Enough to make me ignore all the people in the hallway. It was enough to get me out into the streets for my walk home. But it began to wear off when I got closer to home and as I walked along less and less people were about. It was just me left in the world again. Just me.
It was just me when I got home and for a while after that. Until I heard a car's radio get louder and louder as it got closer. And I could hear his friends talking and laughing. And I heard him slam the car door shut and he walked up the path to the front door. Then he came inside. Steve was home.
"Hey." he said as he walked past my bedroom, where I was fixing up my essay.
"Hi." I said. He shut his bedroom door and I could hear him opening and closing draws for a minute. Then he went past again, off to the kitchen. I could hear him again, going through the fridge. He appeared at my door way again.
"Yeah. I'm going to work. Come by if you want, I'm working until six-thirty." he said. I nodded, as if I was going to go by. "See ya later." he said and walked away.
"Bye." I said, and I heard him slam the front door shut. I don't think he heard me but it doesn't matter. Steve and I don't spend much time together. Though we're pretty close. It's a different relationship than what most brothers and sisters would have. I wrote this into my essay. It was something I wanted Mrs. Brookes to know. It was five-thirty by the time I stopped writing. Even though I thought I'd finished I had all these ideas just coming to me right now. It was going to take me a while longer to finish this. But I didn't mind. I had nothing else to do. It was Tuesday, my dad worked late on Tuesday. This meant I'd probably be alone until eight o' clock. Perfect. I put my paper and pen down, standing up to stretch. It was warm inside and I went out to the front yard for fresh air. The sun was still shining brightly and I put my hand above my eyes to block it out. We had no front porch at our house. Our house was a simple white house, black front door that when you went inside was the lounge room on your left and the dining room, which we hardly used, on your right. Keep walking and it's the kitchen on your left and a doorway leading to a hallway with the bedrooms and bathroom. Lucky my dad's bedroom was at the back of the house, so it was easy to go for walks late at night. So our house was nothing special but I loved it.
A few minutes later I found myself going for a walk. I had all these ideas of what to write but I couldn't get them down properly. I thought a walk and fresh air would be best. When I went back home I would eat and then finish off my essay. There were still little kids playing in the streets and sometimes I could hear their mothers calling them in for dinner, which of course made me want my mother very badly. I didn't like to look at people as I walked by them, so I kept my head down looking at the footpath. Until I heard my name being called. I looked up to see I was at the DX, where Steve worked. He was calling my name. I smiled a little and went over to him, where he was sitting up on top of one of the gas pumps. His friend Sodapop was there with him. They worked there together.
"Hi." I said to both of them.
"Hey." Soda replied, grinning. I looked away from them both and studied the street. It was pretty quiet and not many people were about.
"We're closing early." Steve said, "And I'm going to Soda's for dinner-"
"Wanna come?" Soda asked. I shook my head and then decided that was a little immature.
"No thanks. I'll just go home." I said, and smiled so they wouldn't feel bad.
"Well you want a ride home? Soda's brother can drive ya." Steve said. I agreed to this and I went inside with them while they closed it all up. Then we had to wait outside for a few minutes. It was getting cold and the sun was quickly setting. I watched it disappear out of sight as Soda's brother Darry drove me home. I really wanted Steve to come home and eat with me. He always made me feel better and like I said, I didn't like being home alone. Especially at night. But if I told him to stay with me he'd ask why. And I didn't want to say why. So I waved bye to him as Darry drove away once I was at the front door. I went inside, turning all the lights on. I went into the lounge room, turned the TV on and grabbed the phone, sitting in the corner. I was going to call Brenda.
I don't own Sodapop, Darry or Steve.